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Toddler DS2, asd/ADHD again? Help

(10 Posts)
imaginingitornot Sun 25-Nov-12 11:08:01

Have namechanged as lots of info on here re DC1, and putting the dc together would out me to LA.

Ds2 is doing my head in. He is just over 2. Very clever, very verbal after being pretty quiet for a long time, cute, smiley, likes people. Genuinely likes some pretend stuff (mainly inappropriate tv based blush): pirate eyepatch, light sabre. Has been taught to briefly tuck in a baby doll, play choo-choos in a box, and will use toy kitchen stuff if getting the real stuff out all over the floor isn't an option.

Extremely active, extremely determined, extremely independent, a talented escape artist, climbs up to fridge, tries to get to toaster / microwave/ kettle / knives, broke the oven, has violent tantrums that go on for up to an hour, over-sensitive hearing, hates swings, funny with clothes, needs brute force or straight bribery with sweets for buggy, handholding, high chair, carseat, reins etc. Gets fixated with objects and routines, needs perfect application of all the ASD and ADHD parenting tricks I've learned from dealing with his big sibling.

Didn't point at 18m but does now, sometimes responds to stuff (unreliable, despite mostly being heavily prompted and reinforced) eg his name or following a point. He can do most toys etc for a few seconds then gets fed up so his main play activity is kicking, throwing or emptying. But will potter for 20-30 minutes when something random appeals to him.

Community paed appt next month, I don't want to over-do the concerns because there are lots of 'normal' behaviours too, and I know that nearly all toddlers are active, dangerous, own-agenda-led, quirky types. But I closed my eyes to the ASD bits of dc1's behaviour (the ADHD was so very obvious it was harder to deny grin) and it was then hard to be taken seriously.

imaginingitornot Sun 25-Nov-12 11:16:38

Oh yeah, and he loves new people and new toys, so the SLT triage appointment was a farce: didn't demonstrate any of the things I was worried about in the room.

He just shared symbolic play items nicely with the therapy student whilst chattering away and making eye contact hmm. I'd swear he knew it was a sort-of-test, and of course they didn't see the escape bids and meltdowns in the waiting area.

CouthyMowEatingBraiiiiinz Sun 25-Nov-12 11:37:10

Sounds a lot like my 22mo DS3. He currently has a diagnosis of 'hyperactive with probable ADHD', and he is on a waiting list to be assessed for ASD in May (!). Long long waiting list though.

Far more verbal than my DS3 by the sounds of it though. My DS3 had a major speech regression about 4 months ago. Went from trying to sing 'head, shoulders, knees and toes' to not even saying Mum. sad

He mostly communicates non-verbally now, by putting things in my hand so that I have to guess what he wants.

If he wants his car mat laid out, he will drag it over to me, pit it in my hand and stand in front of me expectantly.

If he wants a bottle, he has his own made up sign for that.

He says a few words now, after I have worked intensely with him. We get 'plass' for splash. (Peppa pig blush ) He now says 'ball' reasonably clearly. He says 'arrr' if he wants Jake and the Neverland Pirates on. (Another pirate obsessive - I spend most of my time wandering round the house with an eyepatch on for him. hmm )

He says 'Mmmmmm' when he wants to watch Mickey Mouse, or if I put his Mickey Mouse t-shirt on and ask him who that is.

That's about the extent of his speech right now.

He still isn't saying Mum, Dad or milk.

His 'receptive speech' has vastly improved since I started working intensely with him (I also have older DC's on the Spectrum, so am doing what I did with them. My DD was non-verbal till 2.8yo, my DS2 was non-verbal till 3.7yo).

His expressive speech, IMO is around the level of an 11mo. I will know more after Thursday because he has his first speech therapy appt.

I just wanted to let you know that you aren't alone.

EllenJaneisstillnotmyname Sun 25-Nov-12 13:38:26

Imaginingit, if you are concerned and an experienced SN mum, then hopefully the professionals will sit up and take notice? Unfortunately spectrum type disorders can run in families, your DS2 has a higher than average chance of having ASD or ADHD as you probably know.

Keep on voicing your concerns, maybe keep a diary of behaviours for the next month until your paed appt, a diary can be quite strong evidence. Can you video him on your mobile as well? Anything to back you up, in case he doesn't 'perform' at the assessments? IME good professionals see things that ,I as a parent, wasn't even concerned about. So hopefully the SALT has seen more than oh realise.

EllenJaneisstillnotmyname Sun 25-Nov-12 13:38:52

More than you realise.

imaginingitornot Sun 25-Nov-12 22:43:45

Thank you Couthy and Ellen, a diary is a great idea and also the videoing. If only to show myself i'm not some Munchausens fiend.

it shouldn't be a relief to know I'm not alone but somehow it does help blush

CouthyMowEatingBraiiiiinz Mon 26-Nov-12 00:44:46

I know what it's like! You feel relieved that you aren't alone with more than one DC with SN's, but then you feel guilty for thinking that because it means that someone else has two DC's with SN's...

I'm now going through Paeds, SALT, Physio, OT for the third time, with my DC4, DS3.

<<Feels battle weary after 14 years...>>

imaginingitornot Mon 26-Nov-12 23:06:43

Bump? Am i crazy to be taking my normal-sounding kid to the doctor? Or is he exactly like several people's later-diagnosed dc? I only have one diagnosed sibling, and they're pretty similar. There are precious few normal dc in the wider family though so my reference point is SN grin

I think MNSN consensus is usually 'you might be right, you might be wrong, see a paediatrician anyway' but it would help to e told the obvious

CouthyMowEatingBraiiiiinz Tue 27-Nov-12 00:52:57

I would first of all literally write a list of each concern. Include things that might seem irrelevant, like what age he started enjoying peekaboo, what age he started being able to lift a blanket to find a toy you've hidden (object permanence, both of those).

How old he rolled, crawled, walked. How old when he got pincer grip. If he tiptoe walks.

Any stims. Any sleep issues and feeding issues. Any behavioural issues (like hour long tantrums, head banging, escapology, destructiveness, and any other behavioural issues that come to mind.)

When he first followed simple instructions, said his first word, said his first two-word sentence, pointed.

Note if he can copy you, like when building a tower, can he copy if you say, built a 3 brick tower.

If he is counting at all. If he can do wooden lift-out puzzles. Can he show you his nose, ears, foot if you ask him?

Anything, however little can give YOU a full picture, and can also be of an unexpected help to a Paed too. It's what got DS3's to really sit up and take note!

CouthyMowEatingBraiiiiinz Tue 27-Nov-12 00:55:19

And grin to your family reference point being SN - mine too! But I have been around enough NT DC's now after 14 years to be certain when a DC usually mine isn't developing at the same rate OR in the same way.

By DC4, they seem to be taking more notice of me...wink

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