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Someone sent me this today and I thought I'd share

(33 Posts)
moosemama Mon 19-Nov-12 19:24:15

My mum sent me this quote today and I thought I'd share it with you lot, as after the day I've had (not good at all) it helped a little:

'Courage is going from failure to failure
without losing enthusiasm'
~ Winston Churchill ~

Personally I'd replace the word enthusiasm with drive or hope, but you guys'll get what I mean either way.

I really wasn't feeling very courageous at the time, just desperate and pretty much defeated after yet another fail and it made me rethink things a little.

moosemama Mon 19-Nov-12 23:17:49

We know personally, two other parents of boys who have ASD and go to the local school and anecdotally, via friends and the inclusion team, of another lad who went there from ds's school. They all seem to have done ok, although one of them has had a few hiccoughs along the way.

His inclusion teacher says she has had a couple of kids go to the independent and hears they are doing well, but has no direct contact with them because of course now they are out of her area in terms of contact and support. Have also heard good reports about it via the local support group, but none of their dcs actually go there.

Not sure how I'd get to meet parents from the indy school really.

zzzzz Mon 19-Nov-12 23:36:08

Phone the school and ask them? Join holiday clubs/activities?

Penneyanne Tue 20-Nov-12 00:57:09

Moose,so sorry to hear of the on-going strugglesad. Its rather surreal but your situation is again mirroring ourshmm. Like you,we have decided on the local secondary for ds where all his friends are going rather than another which is very geared up for SN but we are now rethinking this also.Having dug deeper/researched some more we are now thinking that the one we didnt choose might be better for him after all given that he is presenting with a lot more anxiety etc now than he was even 6 months ago.The one we have chosen also has more of an academic focus which I'm not sure will suit ds.But he is having none of it and wants to go to the one his friends are going to.If we push him towards the other one it will cause untold anxiety which will be a terrible way for him to begin secondary school. Also I think that he needs to have the opportunity to have a taste of an academic setting as who knows,he may thrive in itconfused. On the other hand,as zzzzz said,we really want to get it right from the off and not be chopping and changing.Sigh...we thought we had it all sorted.Its hard isnt it?sad.

coff33pot Tue 20-Nov-12 01:44:50

Moosemama.....I am proud of you, you have it to the senco both barrels with extras grin

The quote is useful for the day I have had too I am going to remember that one for tomorrow x

Note down that in 2 months your ds is out of there. Cross it off day by day to give you both a sense of achievement that you have sailed through another day and celebrate with cake. It may make you feel better when you see the crosses mounting up and less clear days left smile

zzzzz Tue 20-Nov-12 09:32:11

I suspect coffee is right, but the prospect of enduring the next six months and then starting secondary with that to get over as well as upheaval is depressing. In an ideal world you would take him on an adventure and come back to year 7 with tales to tell and skills up the wazoo.

I took dd out of school summer term year 6. She already had a place at secondary and her primary teacher was dreadful. Highlights included, "isosceles triangles have all equal sides" dd pointed out (she is a mouse so very nervously) that perhaps she meant equilateral, but no better to teach everyone wrong than be seen to have made a mistake, and "I am David is a terrible book, it has no story. I wouldn't bother reading that" shock. She spent a term at home with me reading books and doing Maths and went to school joyful in September.

What I'd love to do with mine is spend a year in a covered wagon, or taming an island. I'd like to see what they were like when totally unstressed. <too much Little House and Secret Island as a child>

alison222 Tue 20-Nov-12 09:54:02

moose I am so sorry for your Ds that this is still going on.
I was most dubious about going to the LEA when school were not doing what is in my DS's statement but having talked and e-mailed to death decided that this was clearly the only way forward.
We had a meeting last week and the LEA(or the head as I wrote to him too) seem to have given the SENCO a definite "push" as suddenly they are starting to get things in place.
Is it possible to go to the LEA and cite personality differences with the TA and get them to apply pressure to the school to change her. I have no idea if it would work TBH, am just floundering trying to think of something that could help.

Badvocsanta Tue 20-Nov-12 10:04:41

Moose...time for a letter of complaint to the b of gov?
Contact the LA? Ofsted?
I have zero tolerance for this shit.

moosemama Tue 20-Nov-12 11:11:11

Thanks Penney and Coff. smile

zzzzz, my dream is a croft up in the wilds of Scotland. Walking on windy beaches, running around in the wilderness etc. I would seriously love to see what all of my dcs would be like given that level of freedom. We even looked into moving to a small island off the scottish coast a couple of years back - small school, only about ten children across the age groups and half of every day spent out in nature, investigating, researching, collecting and generally loving life. I wish we'd done it then, because now it's not an option. The only downside to that one was secondary was on the mainland by daily ferry and to a massive not-so-good school, but I reckon I'd have been more comfortable with homeschooling having lived that sort of life, especially as it's more common there.

Alison, Badvoc, interesting you should say that. Inclusion boss lady called me this morning. Really interesting conversation, she really understands why we are so angry and also the problems with getting the school to do anything about it. Agrees the statement has been manipulated and between us we've managed to clearly identify areas where we have been told one thing is happening, they have been told another and ds has told us neither is the case. hmm She explained funding units vs hours to me and that the school clearly isn't giving the level of support the statement dictates. She's going to try and set up a meeting with school, statementing officer, ed psych who has both worked with ds as part of the crisis team and wrote the statement provision, dh and I, ds's inclusion teacher and of course herself.

She totally understood why we felt another meeting wouldn't be any more productive than the previous ones, but said at least if we bring everyone in there's nowhere for them to hide. Statementing officer can insist he get's his funded hours and also inform school that they are misinterpreting (deliberately or otherwise hmm) the statement content and EP can spell out to them what they should be doing as opposed to what they are/aren't doing. She said it should be a long meeting to properly thrash it all out and then ensure there is a clear path for us to follow if it doesn't happen.

Not sure it will work, but not sure what else to do that will actually change anything. Inclusion lady agreed that there are problems right the way through and that she too feels powerless to sort things out, as the school are feeding her the line that they are doing everything they should and she has no concrete evidence to the contrary, so is caught between a rock and a hard place.

Good to know that we have an ally and this particular lady was fantastic at encouraging me to go for a statement when the school wouldn't and told me there wa no point and supporting me in the best way to write my request and parental information as well. (She popped round for half an hour to explain the process to me and stayed for over three hours trawling through the evidence with me and offering lots of advice.)

I have told ds to just do what the school asks him to do for now and not to worry about any of it, as it's all just crossed wires and miscommunication that school and I will sort out. He told me he is getting upset at teachers asking him whether or not he wants certain aspects of the provision shock angry and with regard to that I've told him that he is within his rights to say "I am not comfortable answering that question".

Can't settle today now, it's all more waiting to see if we can get the people we need for the meeting together and as she's making all the calls, all I can do is wait to hear. <wibble>

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