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Scheduled appointment with EP

(10 Posts)
stripycatlola Mon 19-Nov-12 11:32:12

We have been told by DS's class teacher that the EP would like a meeting with us. That was expected and I don't mind it at all, it would be great to hear about her observations. The teacher said that they would like to discuss our DS's perception of the world, his interactions with children, how he's at home and how things are at home in general. (!?) The last comment made us a bit uneasy and I wondered if anyone else had this discussed/brought up at an EP meeting?
Any advice would be appreciated!

MummytoMog Mon 19-Nov-12 11:52:48

We didn’t talk about how things were at home in general with the EP, but we did talk a lot about how things were when DS was born (DD, subject of the conversation, was 18 months at the time and the general perception is that is must have been ‘terribly hard’. It wasn’t) and about how her behaviour impacts our home life (this mostly because they thing we must be really struggling with her behaviour. We’re not). It’s probably just in order to see if there is any wider effect on home life, and I would hope that it’s because they want to be able to offer you support as a family/couple if you need it. Maybe just have a think along those lines, so you’re not caught on the hop during the meeting. I wish I’d sat down and written out when DD hit various milestones before our meeting personally.

StarlightMcKenzie Mon 19-Nov-12 12:14:35

Just emphasise that how things are at home are a direct result of how well needs are being met at school.

StarlightMcKenzie Mon 19-Nov-12 12:14:59

Unless you do need help at home.

stripycatlola Mon 19-Nov-12 13:17:41

Thanks for the replies mummytomog and starlightmckenzie. We don't actually need any help at home, my concern is that they are being unnecessarily nosy. My DS has speech delay and his behaviour hasn't always been great.
This is going to be a meeting after the second EP visit, the first one went really well. Not sure if she had visited him again but last week my DS's behaviour was not great again at school (not sharing toys, saying "no" to teachers, etc) and his teacher asked if he had a very busy weekend (not sure if this is related to the subject they want to bring up) which he didn't really.
He's receiving speech therapy privately and the ST is happy with his progress and says that from her observation, his behaviour does not stand out (she sees him at school).
mummytomog, what's the outcome I should expect from this meeting? Did it help your DD?

StarlightMcKenzie Mon 19-Nov-12 13:42:30

Well just insist that you see no behaviours at home, presumably because his needs are met there and absolutely stick to that. Ask them what concerns them in school so that you can work in partnership with them to develop strategies to address them. Insist that you are sent a draft of the EPs report before it is finalised.

MummytoMog Mon 19-Nov-12 15:33:08

We basically had a choice of outcome - referral to the Early Years support team (who will assess DD and then put extra support in place at nursery for her) or referral to the Early Years support team AND referral for ASD diagnosis. We went for the first option. It wasn't terribly helpful, but it was a necessary step and I think it got across to DD's teacher how I felt about the situation quite well.

stripycatlola Mon 19-Nov-12 21:58:41

Thank you for the advice starlightmckenzie, I really like what you are saying. You do make a fair point and I think I'll do just that.
I also spoke to the ST and she says it's not unusual to have questions like that asked by the EP as they want to check how he is at home as well as at school - apparently some children behave differently in various environments.
mummytomog, I think these days it's very common to have ASD brought up very easily every time a child doesn't fit the mold 100%. There are pros and cons in getting early diagnosis and some children grow out of the symptoms (that's what I've been told). Hope things are better now with your DD. My DS has some features of ASD but not enough to justify an assessment at this point.

ilikemysleep Tue 20-Nov-12 22:17:09

Stripy - the thing is, an EP doesn't know how things are at home unless they ask. It might be perceived as unnecessary if all is well, but if it isn't and the question isn't asked, or even if (as can often happen) they are 'fine' in school and let all the anxiety out at home - then the EP hasn't done a thorough assessment if they haven't asked about both settings. If you try to think of it as the EP doing a thorough assessment of the child's whole needs rather than 'prying' it might help you feel less defensive. We aren't as a rule convinced that it's all parents' fault, but we do need to know how things are so we can signpost to support if nec and include parents' views and experiences in any report.

If it's any consolation, I always feel a bit yukky asking about home because I know parents think I am being nosey!

stripycatlola Fri 30-Nov-12 13:05:46

ilikemysleep thank you for sharing your views and experience, I appreciate them! Well, the meeting went well. There wasn't anything asked that I felt made me feel the EP was being nosey, it was just going through my DS's strengths and points that needed addressing. I don't think my DS is fully on the spectrum (and neither do they), but he needs some support mainly to fit in better socially. Also, her observations were not 100% correct-but she only saw him for 45 mins and that's OK. I suppose this is where she wanted to find out more about how he's at home. He's much more relaxed, chatty and overall happier at home. There was one suggestion that was brought up by the class teacher but I think I'll start a new thread about it.

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