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are these behaviours typical of aspergers ?

(16 Posts)
thriftychic Sun 18-Nov-12 23:57:15

wanting their own way ALL THE TIME and going to the ends of the earth with no let up to get it .

not accepting consequences (probably the same thing really) i.e , consequence was no ice cream , so ds2 did everything he could to take the ice cream and threatened ME with consequences if i didnt give it to him. can go on like that all night long.

forms negative opinions of people and tells them what he thinks , i.e refusing to work with a particular group of kids at school he calls them all retards and idiots and kicks up a massive fuss obviously doing himself no favours.

has a like for like attitude. ds2 heard dh swearing on the phone the other week , probably the first time ever , and now when in a rage has started swearing at me saying 'so what my dad swears '

does not 'see' his own faults , after stealing from my purse , truanting from school , telling lies he thinks its unfair that we trust his brother and not him .

bearing in mind that ds2 is a teenager . is this just bad behaviour ? is there any explanation for it regarding AS?

thriftychic Mon 19-Nov-12 15:28:41

im guessing not .

BackforGood Mon 19-Nov-12 15:33:34

In my very humble opinion, I'd say - bad teen behaviour, tbh.
I think you'd have spotted a lot of things earlier on in life if he had Asperger's.
Hard, isn't it?

lisad123 Mon 19-Nov-12 15:47:00

I wouldn't say it's clear signs, sounds more like teen behaviour, they are very self centred sad

thriftychic Mon 19-Nov-12 15:56:02

thanks. ds2 has been diagnosed AS but i am not sure its right..

lisad123 Mon 19-Nov-12 15:57:41

Well they must be seeing more than the behaviour you described for a dx of asd

colditz Mon 19-Nov-12 16:03:09

Well, yes it is fairly typical of aspergers. That doesn't mean y can't punish it, but don't freak t and think you're doing a bad job, or decide he's just being naughty, because it all screams aspergers to me.

colditz Mon 19-Nov-12 16:05:20

The average bad teen wouldn't go on all night about ice cream. They would roll their eyes and declare that they hate ice cream, and they don't know why you buy it because you're fat enough etc ad nauseum. It's a very aspire thing to hyper focus on it and make it the focal points of all that has gone wrong that day, and to believe that if only they would get the ice cream that WAS SUPPOSED TO HAPPEN, everything else would be ok.

Ineedalife Mon 19-Nov-12 16:14:19

I think it does sound like the behaviour that a teenager with aspergers could easily have.

Does is understand how the stealing from you purse made you feel. I noticed a big difference when parenting an NT teen, in terms of them actually comprehending your feelings.

Dd1 is undiagnosed but as far as I am concerned she has aspergers, she was incredibly difficult as a teen because of her lack of understanding.

Dd2 who is NT knows straight away if she has upset me, it doesnt stop her being a stroppy teen but she knows if she has upset me.

Sorry if none of that makes sense, am struggling with phone because the laptop is brokensad

troutsprout Mon 19-Nov-12 16:30:48

I think it sounds like stroppy teen behaviour plus Aspergers tbh.
The first 2 paragraphs particularly sounded like Asperger like behaviour.

thriftychic Mon 19-Nov-12 17:21:03

thanks , just so confused at the moment.

sorry to hear your laptops broken ineedalife , can it be fixed ? ive spent today trying to replace all the cards and things from my purse that ds2 took scissors to . hassle !

Ineedalife Mon 19-Nov-12 18:09:08

It ok, its fixedgrin

DP couldnt fix it last night as he had come off nights and was sleep deprived but he is feeling better now so has sorted it.LOL

Sorry you are having to deal with this. Dd3 also bears grudges, she will say that she is never, ever going to speak to someone again and she usually means it. an adult once lost a notebook belonging to her and she accused her of stealing it and refused to speak to herblush

It can get very difficult, Dd3 is totally convinced that she is perfect and it is the rest of the world that is wrong.

I know you are not convinced that your Ds has been given the right label but have you read Tony attwood's Complete Guide to Asperger Syndrome, it is a really good book and it might help you.

Good luck and am honking for yousmile

Ineedalife Mon 19-Nov-12 18:15:41

I meant to ask, have you ever posted on the teenager board, there is a thread running that was started by maryz called the support thread for parents of troubled teens, she has a teenager with aspergers and she has loads of experience to share.

Tis a good threadsmile

thriftychic Mon 19-Nov-12 19:23:13

thanks, have had a quick look at the teenager thread , will read more in a minute . cant believe how many people have such stressful times with teens , i think that thread will be good for dh to read aswell.
your dd3 sounds similar to ds2 , he was upset that his p.e teacher had put him in a group with people he didnt like and insisted that i could ring her and get him moved . when i told him i could talk to her about how he felt about it but ultimately she was the teacher and she was in charge of the groups he acused me of not caring about him and proceeded to try and make my life as hellish as possible. he was adamant that the problem was all my fault for not TELLING the teacher. im not sure how much of that was just spouting rubbish .

i got some good advice from claw4 for a behaviour plan which i have started this week. He can get a reward of some money each day , so hes currently sat with a pen and paper planning what nhe can buy for his fishing trips (current hobby) and hes up to the value of £630 . i have to admire the optimism there grin

Ineedalife Mon 19-Nov-12 19:28:50

How funny, you have to love them dont yougrin

thriftychic Tue 20-Nov-12 08:45:03

colditz , its hard to know , ive never had to deal with a bad teen before. After all hes done this past week he is now, this week, being nice to me , with hugs here and there. i can tell hes trying , and the promise of rewards seems to be motivating him. i know he will be off again though as soon as something isnt going his way !

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