I won't comment in the particular situation, but if your DD is 18, she is "presumed" to have capacity and technically you have no right to a say, no matter how ridiculous it is (and it clearly is in your situation). If you want to be consulted/kept in the loop officially in future - and not depend on the goodwill of staff to tell you things - you will have to go to court and get welfare guardianship (that's what it's called in Scotland. Not sure what English equivalent is)
You will get legal aid for this, regardless of your income, and it sounds very much like it would be straightforward in your case.
Hi Agentprovocateur yes she is over 18 and and luckley I can talk to the collage. But what annoys me is that the young adult has no idea why she has been put there and probably sees it as a punishment .
We had a note to say she wasn't drinking at collage ,so when I phoned for more information I found out then. The behavior nurse had phoned me the week before and said there were some issues at collage but nothing to worry about,so foolishly I believed her. The nurse has since told me they don't live to give negative information. I did say that prehaps parents might feel inadaquate when every thing in wonderful at collage and slightly uncontrollable at home.(after 19 years I can face the truth, and its nice to know that its not just me who has no control . We have noticed that when we went out this weekend young adult wanted to sit on her own ,and we had a battle to get her to sit with us.
Well, wrong, I think, because a professional kitchen isn't a suitable environment to teach table skills. I would want to know what the policies of the college say?
Also, as she is a young adult, you surely either do have a right to the information, or you don't? It can't be both.
I would have thought that more appropriate steps would be to remove the salt and pepper from her table. Make sure that there is adequate space between the young woman and other diners. Give appropriate warnings about sitting still, etc.
Hi Lougle I agree with you that the collage should make appropriate steps. We have discovered as parents we have no rights over what our daughter does now she is 19. If she does not want to go out of the house we have no rights to make her, We can't have power of attorney as she has not got the mental capcity to give us this role. We think we can apply to be her Deputy's through the COP but haven't worked out how yet,I expect that is the same as guardianship in Scotland.
Thank you Lougle I think I will have to read it in the morning to understand if I have to pay we're over the amount but dd is on EESA. It does seem alot of money to pay so we can carry on having a say in her future.