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Anger management in young children

(8 Posts)
EscapeInTheCity Thu 15-Nov-12 14:44:42

I am calling on your collective wisdom re ds2. He has always been quite challenging but in these last few months has had more and more angry outbursts where he is screaming and kicking and especially has taken on hitting his db as soon as a conflict arises.
After a discussion a few days ago, it emerged that ds2 cannot control himself in these situations. In his own words, 'he is so angry that he has to hit his db'.
When he is calm, he knows that he needs to go away and calm down or ask for some help but in the mist of things, he just can't think about it, everything escalates...
It is to the point where I am wondering if it is a good idea to leave them together alone (Is it safe for ds1?). I left them for 15min on the playground last week whilst I was having a much needed chat with ds2 teacher, ds1 came back with a big red mark on his leg where ds2 had kicked him....

So far, I have send anyone too angry to cool down in their own bedrooms. I've had chats. I've tried to send ds2 to bed earlier as a 'punishment' but this just did not work. He either just accepted it or kicked a huge fuss, lots of resentment towards me but not a lot of learning out of it iyswim. So what would you suggest?

EscapeInTheCity Thu 15-Nov-12 14:45:50

Oh forgot to say, I believe ds2 is somewhere on the spectrum for autism. We've started the process for assessment but still early days.

EscapeInTheCity Thu 15-Nov-12 20:50:37

bump for the evening

waitingforgodot Thu 15-Nov-12 21:05:58

Don't have any suggestions unfortunately but hopefully someone will be along shortly to help.

germyrabbit Thu 15-Nov-12 21:08:04

my ds now 11, does tae kwan do, was a good way for him to channel unwanted aggression. they teach how to keep calm inside whilst wanting to hit out. really has done him a power of good.

EscapeInTheCity Thu 15-Nov-12 21:14:41

Martial arts could be an idea if I can manage to convinced it's a nice thing to do (issue with trying new things out).

I also have come across some meditation 'classes' for children, especially aimed at children with ASD, ADHD. Anyone heard about that before?

elephantpoo Thu 15-Nov-12 22:18:25

My Ds (6)-with suspected AS-has started Tae Kwon Do and he's so much more confident and seems able to control his anger a bit better.
Like you predict with your DS, we struggled at first......he really wanted to do it, but when it came to it he couldn't. We ended up taking his only friend along for a few weeks. Unfortunately his friend stopped, but by then (luckily) it had become "normal" for DS, who has been going every week HAPPILY for 7 months now smile

alison222 Thu 15-Nov-12 22:26:47

Lots of talking and working through some anger management books with DS.
I read the read beast
hot stuff to help children chill out
and a volcano in my tummy.
I know school used at leas t one of these along with the website get your angires out

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