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Am finding lack of speech in 20mo hard

(11 Posts)
Sleepstarved Mon 12-Nov-12 17:41:06

I know it's wrong but I find myself losing patience with her and she is starting to get so frustrated.
She has recently started howling and screaming when she is upset/toy doesn't do what she wants ect but sometimes I have no idea what is wrong.
She doesn't shake head for no or nod for yes so even basic questions are hard although she shows understanding by pointing to thing when asked, giving toys ect.
We are on waiting list for NHS salt and have some mandatory assessment thing to go to next month which I guess decides if she really needs it.
I know 20mo without words is nothing compared with what some families are dealing with. I guess I am just looking for some tips on how to cope with it and not get as frustrated as DD.
Feel awful when she is so upset and I don't know why.

sannaville Mon 12-Nov-12 17:52:35

At 24 months my dd only had a handful of words and didn't shake her head either. 26 months was assessed as speech delayed. By 33 months dd started talking in sentences in the space of a few days I was really shocked. We found pecs symbols helped relieve her frustration and still use them now sometimes

MummytoMog Mon 12-Nov-12 18:43:07

Lordy, we had a 30 month old who was completely silent! We still have a 38 month old who doesn't talk much. We encouraged DD to bring stuff to us that was 'wrong' and she began taking us to the things she wanted. She doesn't/didn't have much receptive language, so we tried to make sure we knew what she might be wanting, had mealtimes and snack times regularly etc etc, drink always available (although once she got to two, we started letting it run out so she would bring us the empty cup).

AgnesDiPesto Mon 12-Nov-12 18:45:18

PECS and symbols are worth looking into even just printing pictures off google images and offering choices eg food, drink etc may be a start

Its not nothing, not being able to understand or help your child is tough.

The Hanen books eg It Takes Two to Talk (see wilmslow publishing for good price) is worth buying for ideas.

Have you tried signing - you can get baby signing books at most libraries?

EllenJaneisstillnotmyname Mon 12-Nov-12 18:53:28

www.winslow-cat.com/it-takes-two-to-talk.html

Well worth the money, and you can always eBay it afterwards. X

Firsttimer7259 Mon 12-Nov-12 19:02:37

Its not easy when you have a frustrated nonverbal toddler. I second the hanen - def gave me confidence to know what the right things to do where. Plus Hanen is what our SALT uses so you can get started while waiting for appt knowing you wont be doing something massively different in a few months from now.
I have also started using laminated photographs of things (we sign a bit too) - food mainly right now but will start with toys soon.
My DD is 28 months, no gestures, no words (she has said the odd word in context here and there so we know she is understanding something) but communication is minimal. We get weeks were she is more annoyed with it all than others and those weeks are really tough. We use childcare/nursery to get around a lot of this. Having time off lets me be more patient and up for it than if I was with her all the time. I am amazed how much she gets out of nursery given her lack of communication - shes a v popular little girl, loves the business of it, v smiley and cuddley and other children love to talk at her play with her (maybe because she doesnt talk back). But basically my advice for patience is get some time off from it because it is just wearing, the endless repeating is really wearing to. We say everything over and over and some days I just want to screeeeeaaaammmm!

Sleepstarved Mon 12-Nov-12 21:32:31

Thanks everyone, we have started a bit of makaton and she knows the sign for 'finished' although does it backwards and I am not sure if she just does it because we ask 'are you finished?'
Will look at Hanen, not heard of it before.
Thanks, am glad it's not me being horribly impatient with her.
She does direct us sometimes, takes me by the hand to go somewhere and puts my hand on the laptop/iPad if her game crashes, gives us her cup ect.
Laminated pictures are a good idea, portage has suggested this so we must try it.

lingle Mon 12-Nov-12 21:33:55

buy the Hanen book <resists emphatic formatting>

EllenJaneisstillnotmyname Mon 12-Nov-12 21:43:04

Disclaimer, we don't work for Hanen or Winslow press, grin just their methods are fab, recommended by my DS's SALT and worked a treat.

lingle Mon 12-Nov-12 22:02:47

I would gladly go and work for Hanen though.... and if I ever did something foolish like running a marathon, that's the charity I'd give the money to smile

FreshWest Tue 13-Nov-12 11:00:03

I agree with getting the Hanen book. A lot of it is common sense imo BUT it helped me organise my thinking and the approaches to take.

I also agree with using pictures, the official term is PECS. (Picture Exchange Communication System). You can get pictures off the Internet, however we found that taking actual photos of objects around the house worked better for dd. We use them in play but she also has access to them and can "tell" us what she wants by showing the appropriate photos.
It eliminates the guessing game and reduces (though does not eliminate!!) the tantrums of frustration.
It is hard, no doubt about it, but I just tell myself that I have to keep on for dd's sake. Nobody else will grin

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