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3yo far keener to interact with adults than other children his age...am I over-analysing this?

(7 Posts)
dietcokeandwine Sun 11-Nov-12 21:28:42

A little background: DS1 (8) was DX'd asd/aspergers shortly before his 5th birthday. He's at the high-functioning end of the spectrum and generally copes with his challenges/difficulties pretty well but, perhaps inevitably, as a result of DS1's DX I have a tendency to over-analyse the behaviour of DS2 (3) to see whether I can see any asd traits going on.

In all honesty, so far I haven't seen much about DS2 that red-flags asd (has hit all developmental milestones, is articulate, confident, sociable, imaginative, far more so than DS1 ever was etc etc) except this one thing: I've noticed that he has a tendency to pay little attention to other children his age. He prefers to chat away to either adults or older children instead. He parallel plays alongside other 2/3 yos no problem, but doesn't really interact with them, or try to play with them IYSWIM (unless it's a kind of chase-and-run-around type game, in which case he giggles and joins in with gusto). He will, however, happily interact with other mums, and he does instigate and have genuine interaction with older children (DS1's 7/8 yo peers during playdates for example - ie will go trotting up and say 'hello X, would you like to play with me?' and tries to draw them into his games, or join in with theirs). But when I arrange a playdate for DS2 with a friend his own age he is far more likely to chat/attempt to play with the mum than the preschooler!

So - is this in isolation something to worry about/keep an eye on? Possible red flag? Or is it just that he's a confident second child with a significantly older sibling (could be that the 5 year age gap makes a difference I suppose) who is simply more comfortable being around adults and older children at the moment?

Or is it me just being completely paranoid and needing to get a grip...

For what it's worth preschool haven't raised any concerns about his social interaction at all (he started in September and seems to be loving it) and he has only literally just turned 3 so it's early days....but it's just something that's jarring a bit at the moment.

mumof2turds Sun 11-Nov-12 21:35:27

My dd is 3 she's exactly the same - but she hates nursery smile no advice as we are awaiting assessment

mariammma Sun 11-Nov-12 22:39:29

He may be trying to get a bit of extra adult attention. Or more likely he might assume that anyone with childish speech has asd and wants to be left aloe.

mumof2turds Mon 12-Nov-12 08:05:06

Also adults and older kids are more predictable than toddlers so may feel a but safer for him to chat to

ArthurPewty Mon 12-Nov-12 08:12:50

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ArthurPewty Mon 12-Nov-12 08:13:35

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

shoppingbagsundereyes Mon 12-Nov-12 14:27:43

Sounds to me like he is used to playing with his older brother and you so prefers older children/adults to his peers.

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