So, had my DDs parent teacher meeting today.

[MammaTJ]

1. She is fidgety and needs to work on concentrating more.
   
   
2. She is alienating her classmates by fidgeting so much.
   
   
3. Her ideas are good but she rushes to put them down on paper. Her mind works too fast.
   
   
4. Her handwriting would be better if she would concentrate and slow down.
   
   
5. She is easily distracted.
   
   
6. She uses any excuse i.e needing toilet or getting a pencil sharpened to get up and wander round
   
   
7. She struggles with friendships as she wants to be in control all the time.
   
   BUT, she doesn't show any signs of ADHD.

[moleskin]

Oh dear mamma o could've written your post!!! When my dd1 was dx ADHD the senco at her old school said " yes she's very lively and extremley impulsive, controlling, can't sit still etc etc but I wouldn't think she had ADHD"!!!!! We've since moved her school!!! Her new school give her ample opportunity to get out of her seat and run errands for the teacher to stop the fidgeting.

[Ineedalife]

Sounds like the parents eves I used to have for Dd1.

She never got a dx but I ak pretty certain she has AS and ADHD.

I would recommend keeping a diary as evidence of the types of behaviours/issues you are dealing with on an everyday basis.

If you do go to the proffs you will stand more chance of being taken seriously.

Good luck

[MammaTJ]

Well, at her first visit to the ADHD clinic, the doctor did take me seriously indeed. She said she could not diagnose on the first visit but she saw beofre her a very fidgety and demanding child. She also said when I told her the school did not agree that she would send in an ADHD nurse to assess her in school, so that bit is covered.

I think schools do not realise that girls are not less likely to have it, but are less likely to be diagnosed with it as they present differently to boys with it.

[moleskin]

Mamma you've hit the nail on the head there. Dd1s old school only had experience of one boy with quite severe ADHD and other difficulties. So because dd wasn't like him they couldn't see it in her. Girls seem to be more hypersocial and hypertalkative the pead told me as opposed to extremley hyperactive like boys are

[MammaTJ]

I think the fact that the teacher looks about 15 does not help!! The SENCO is a very experienced teacher and I have known her for 13 years. My older DD went to the same school and she is now 17. I have a lot of respect for her, but she does not see it either.

[Ineedalife]

I am glad people are supporting you mamma

If they send someone experienced into school they should see it.

I agree that girls and boys present very differently, we have the same with Dd3 who has ASD.

Good luck

[MammaTJ]

Just phoned my friend, whose ADHD son went through the same school. She has suggested I mention his name and how badly they let him down by not seeing it in him!!

I rather think I will!!!

[moleskin]

Our old senco was lovely bloke but not clued up on SN at all! Particularly girls! New senco fab saw it in her straight away and put things in place to help her fidgeting and chattering :) I do wonder if sencos actually get any proper training at all!

[MammaTJ]

Well, my friends ADHD nurse did offer to go in to the school to give them training but she didn't have enough fight left in her!!

I will take them up on the offer if it is forthcoming!!

I can't wait for the ADHD nurse to go in to the school to assess her!! Today is the first warning they have of it coming!

I am so sure of the future diagnosis that I do not doubt the nurse will see it! They are going to look really stupid aren't they?

[moleskin]

Yes they absolutley wil and hopefully will give them a lesson in how to spot it in future!

[MammaTJ]

I hope so. I sort of think that if my friend had pushed it, we might be having an easier time of it now.

[MammaTJ]

Had a conversation with the deputy head today and she told me she doesn't see it in my DD because she CAN sit still for some occasions, ie choir and film club. Apparently children with it cannot sit still for a second!!

Had this conversation in the playground and another mum overheard and we started talking about it. She then called my DD over and started giving her 'the talk', you know the one wherethey tell the child 'When mumy tells you something, you must listen to her...........'.

I said 'Stop that right now, if it was that simple i would have done it by now and no child would be on ritalin'

[DameMargotFountain]

oh Mamma

please don't give up, i'm not sure of your story so far, but have you been to your GP to ask for referral to another agency at all?

it's finally being recognised that girls on the autistic spectrum are very good mimics, they can quickly copy their peers in order to fit in and not be singled out.

our society expects girls to be quiet and passive and this is what they become.

i often describe my DD as a balloon, she fine and bounces along nicely until the pressure gets too much then she explodes....

[MammaTJ]

We have had referral and one appointment at the ADHD clinic.

That went well and I came away feeling believed. She said that although she could not make a diagnosis on the first visit, she could 'see before me a fisgety and demanding child' and that as she needs the cardiologists permission for meds she was going to write to him in readiness.

Waiting report from school and if necessary send in the ADHD specialist nurse to assess.

[MammaTJ]

fisgety=fidgety

[Jingleflobba]

Points 1,3,4,5 and 6 are exactly the same things teacher after teacher told me about DS throughout primary school. Along with 'needs to listen' I could have quoted every parents evening to the teachers without them saying anything. No one mentioned any LD at all, which is partly why I am only now considering getting a referral.
Wishing you and your DD good luck with getting the help she needs x

[mrslaughan]

Thing is - may no be ADHD , maybe sensory processing disorder - being sensory seeking.
Certainly investigate ADHD - but have a look at SPD as well, it is not very well understood I have to say, but DS is exactly how you describe you DD and people were always perplexed that at times he could sit and concentrate and at other times he was a ball of movement. He now (for the most part) has no trouble sitting still(after 9 months of therapy - which he LOVES), it has been a revelation.
Just putting it out there - hope you don't mind.

[coff33pot]

3 types dx. Attention Deficit, Hyperactive Disorder and ADHD.

DS has Hyperkinetic Syndrome (not disorder) on his report but overall tag is ADHD.

He also has SPD on top. He is on meds and low dose so docs class this as mild adhd now. It helps but doesnt remove the sensory issues although he is able to think first and be less impulsive and tell me what is aggrivating him sensory wise so that is a start. Without the meds I have an erupting volcano who has a strong distaste for noise, clothes, chaos, smells etc along with being totally impulsive and hyper to get away from these situations with no danger awareness and the concentration and memory absorbtion of a goldfish.

And they CAN concentrate! His actual concentration span is 7 to 9 mins on most things that involve brain power and heavy concentration. However if he is drawing, building something for science etc he will sit there for a good hour and not move.

Tell the school to get a grip and read up on the variations before they resign themselves that your DD has no issues x

[MammaTJ]

I know Coff, they just don't have a clue!! Still, the final decision does not lie with them!! It lies with those who do know what they are talking about.
I am fairly sure myself it is ADHD, but if I am wrong and they give her a different diagnosis, then fine, as long as she (and I) get help!!

[MammaTJ]

I thought this might be useful to anyone going through the same.