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Here are some suggested organisations that offer expert advice on SN.

Why didn't I see this :(

(15 Posts)
sweetteamum Thu 08-Nov-12 15:20:05

Well, I have had quite a day today actually, it's more like a year

I have been informed by someone I don't want to out on here, just in case that The Early Intervention team who "come and help us as a family and support DD to get back into school", is actually the social services AND it was the LEA who told school to refer us!!!!! i'm fuming. WTF are they doing referring it on the grounds of a child protection issue and only telling us 'after' they've accepted the referral.

I'm gutted sad
I have read lots of things like this on here and never believed how far people would go. I don't know who to trust, to talk to, I feel DD has been let down for the past few years by the LA. I'm just gutted that this was being proposed to me as a way of helping, was really just for them to come in and talk to US about how we can get dd into school rather than how they are going to support dd and help school understand her - How did I not notice thats what she was saying the other day. I really am gullible.

The LA admitted that they could 'pull her support away' as soon as school felt that she was ok.

I'm tired, i'm gutted, i'm upset and generally i'm just sad

Ineedalife Thu 08-Nov-12 15:27:18

No advice sorrysad

Just wanted to Honk for you.

zzzzz Thu 08-Nov-12 15:31:01

Be brave, if you are doing your best, what more can you do?

The truth is the truth.

Honk honk honk.

sweetteamum Thu 08-Nov-12 15:35:38

Thank you both. Just pee'd off with the stupid system putting support in place for a family who don't need it. Wasting money! sad

Ineedalife Thu 08-Nov-12 15:40:28

Actually sweet I have had a thought, when you meet with the team you will have the opportunity to tell them what you have tried and what the result has been.

You should be able to show that it is not your unwillingness to support your child that is causing the problem but the schools lack of support.

Have you kept records of all the conversations you have had with school?
If not make some notes about what has been happening and from now on record and date every conversation you have with school, who you spoke to and what the outcome was.

You can turn this around on to the school, you have done nothing wrong. Try to stay positivesmile

Lougle Thu 08-Nov-12 15:59:23

Don't panic smile SS isn't there to attack you. Nothing has changed. It's just from a different budget.

sweetteamum Thu 08-Nov-12 16:02:27

Thank you both. Yes I've got emails over the past few years with 3 different schools etc.

I know I can prove its not me. I just feel so sad for dd who is still out of school, while they're all phaffing about having their little meeting, without us - when do we get our say. Why do they all get to choose what's put in place for her. Sorry to sound so down today

mariammma Thu 08-Nov-12 16:04:01

This is a nice opportunity to put good parenting on record. Relax, and approach it like an exam where you know the subject inside out. Your only challenge is to make it easy for the examiner to give you an A*.

That means figuring out what they think is the best way to approach getting a child to school. Then demonstrate that you applied that carefully and consistently, and, having failed you then tried several other pretty-good options just as carefully and consistently. Ask which approaches they would now recommend, and how they can support you whilst assessing if the new approach is better.

Remember you are asking them for their expert assistance and/
or practical input. Perhaps they could send a morning carer? Once a week overnight respite carer who can drop off at school? Or would they [dumb mum face] recommend residential school or LA transport?

Finish by thanking them a lot and asking please would they stay involved till the whole mess is sorted. Should ensure they either do help or else b*****r off wink

Handywoman Thu 08-Nov-12 16:56:10

love it. genius, mariammma

PolterGoose Thu 08-Nov-12 17:01:30

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

sweetteamum Thu 08-Nov-12 17:48:02

Thank you all. I suppose it's possibly a good thing and they'll be able to see that we are and have tried/trying to help dd get back into school. Although it does clearly show we've asked the school for help, with no luck/response. I just don't want dd to be affected any more than she is already.

KeepOnKeepingOn1 Thu 08-Nov-12 18:01:37

This whole process makes you ultra-cynical. EOTAS are less concerned with meeting DS's needs than getting him back into school - the 1st week they wanted him to attend an unsuitable MLD complex unit for children out of school - God only knows what next week will bring as final statement is for mainstream. These people sit next to each other in a small office and yet are acting in a contradictory manner.

It helps to know that their agenda will be to use hook and crook to get the child into school. ime the first question related to whether he 'honestly' missed school was intended to 'uncover' whether his inability to attend came from me. He said that he was going to say 'yes' because this is what they wanted him to say (ultra-compliant) but because they said 'honestly' he said 'no'. Thank god he thinks literally grin

Stay strong - this is not personal. Sidestep the arrows, cover your arse and stay focused on your goal. smile You cannot fail if you never give up.

lisad123 Thu 08-Nov-12 23:12:11

Haven't read replies but please know SS do NOT answer to LEA or school!
I got into trouble when I worked for SS as schools hated that I wouldn't side with them if I didn't feel they were right. There are a number of staff who really hated school referrals as we all knew they had no real clue of what SS did, had odd views on families and what was a risk.

They may be helpful to you

MyAngelChuckles Thu 08-Nov-12 23:34:39

Sounds so hard for you, I have no direct experience with SS or school taking this tactic but just want to offer you support.

You are doing your best on behalf of your DD and she is lucky to have you.

Love mariamma's advice grin

sweetteamum Fri 09-Nov-12 07:59:47

Thank you all again. Really appreciate the back up. Hopefully I won't be getting any surprises today . . Lisa thank you it's good to know they don't always back the school up, if they don't agree.

I'm gathering all relevant details to show as and when they make contact.

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