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Witty comebacks please!!

(16 Posts)
BertramBertram Thu 08-Nov-12 08:58:46

Was talking to a mum at the school yesterday who told me that it was a disgrace that there were children in the class who haven't grasped basic literacy and they should be asked to move to a different school where expectations are lower becuase it is obviously the parent's fault that their child is behind with their literacy (Y2!).

She didn't realise that DS is one of those children! He now has an IEP and 3 sessions with SENCO a week & has been referred for assessment for dyspraxia. Although he is behind on his literacy, he is so bright in other areas, she hadnt realised!! I was saved from responding by my mobile going off, but I was so angry that when I finished my call I went and chatted with another parent.

I am so angry that she believes kids like DS dont belong in the same school as her precious DD. We do try and work with DS on his literacy and we probably work a damn sight harder than her because he finds it so difficult.

I dont want to feel embarrassed that DS needs extra help as I don't want him to pick up on it but she did make me feel like I had been a really bad Mum.

Can someone give me some witty comebacks if she starts again? Don't want to fall out with her but at the same time I think she needs putting in her place!

coff33pot Thu 08-Nov-12 09:23:05

"Oh well not point suggesting meeting for a coffee then after all if we move schools I will be unlikely to see you again"

"OMG is it REALLY all my fault? Thank you so much for your valued opinion on my sons education"

Strongecoffeeismydrug Thu 08-Nov-12 09:44:40

I'd say are you always such a rude,opinionated,heartless bitch or are you trying really hard for a reaction this morning!
However I've got a hide like a rhino and that would just fall out of my mouth as my default setting smile

claw4 Thu 08-Nov-12 09:44:55

With opinions like that, i would just find another parent to chat to!

PurplePidjin Thu 08-Nov-12 09:47:34

"Shame you're not the class teacher really, you could quite obviously do a better job"


zzzzz Thu 08-Nov-12 10:09:51

I wouldn't make the slightet attempt to be be witty, funny, defuse the situation, or make her uncomfortable.

I would just say very calmly that I disagree, I think there are lots of reasons children can be behind with their literacy or anything else that aren't a result of inadequate parental input, and that I am happy for my child to mix with children with vastly different abilities.

You disagree. To me she sounds very ignorant and unkind, but she probably would think equally unflattering things about my stance. I can live with that, because frankly she doesn't sound like someone I'd give a lot of space in my life to.

MummytoMog Thu 08-Nov-12 10:32:40

Oddly, we are one of the few families in my husband's circle of friends and colleagues who don't do attachment parenting. Consequently, DD's independence has always been viewed by his friends as 'bizarre'. Of course, now that there is an ASD diagnosis in the offing, it's all our fault for not spending enough time with her. My MiL told me on an email that she didn't talk because I didn't talk to her enough, OR LET HER SEE MY FACE. Customarily at home of course, I wear a brown paper bag over my head.

People talk such sh*t.

Firsttimer7259 Thu 08-Nov-12 10:50:40

Agree with zzzz. I would just explain it v calmly and note its not just parenting. She'll either be embarrassed at her ignorance and thoughtlessness in which case she gtes another chance, or not. In which case I would tick her off my list as people too dumb to spend much time with.

I had an interesting conversation with a good friend recently where I told her about some of these stupid statements. Shes an intelligent, thoughtful woman. She went bright pink and said: 'oh god Ive probably said that to some poor woman on some playground/school gate somewhere' (the have you tried xx type comments). She explained how she was probably just trying to find something to say or to say something helpful and had not realized the subtext in the way I hear it when someone tells me about their reading habits since babydom.

coff33pot Thu 08-Nov-12 11:27:02

I gave you some dry comments but tbh if it were me I would have told her to stick her commenrs where the sun don't shine.

But then I am well past tolerating or trying to educate playground ignorance. One could say I now have very low expectations of them but hey ho smile

BertramBertram Thu 08-Nov-12 11:47:55

I've only told a few close friends about DS being referred. It's nobody else's business and there is an "opinion" among some of the more pushy mums that getting a referral like this is to get a label to hide lazy parenting behind! I don't want DS to be the subject of gossip as he is sensitive as it is.

I can cope with the bragging of this parent. Whilst her DD is doing well now, at some point she will find something hard and that is going to be very difficult for her mother to accept. TBH, I pity her DD for having the pressure of being perfect & the best put on her!! This parent even went to see the head last year when another child was given special lessons and tried to argue that the child would be better off in a school with lower expectations.

I think I'm going to need a teflon coat but I am sensitive as I wonder if I had been a SAHM would things be different (silly I know!)

Whatever the SENCO has been doing with him in the last couple of weeks has done wonders for him and I will put up a bloody big fight before I let anyone take this support away from him.

Will take the moral high ground if she starts again and ask her to tell me what she thinks I am doing wrong ...!!

vjg13 Thu 08-Nov-12 12:07:37

I would just avoid her, she sounds dreadful. No point at all in thinking you can educate her or change her POV.

zzzzz Thu 08-Nov-12 12:12:16

I wouldn't tell her anything about your ds or give her the slightest opportunity to critique your parenting. Just be nice and pro inclusion if it comes up again.

She sounds very old fashioned and slightly odd.

MyCannyBairn Thu 08-Nov-12 12:16:38

I believe I would have laughed in her face. What an arsehole.

BertramBertram Fri 09-Nov-12 16:48:49

DS has clearly been outed as 'one of those kids' based on the way I was snubbed by her today grin. Such a loss...NOT!

Saves me having to decide what to do!

mymatemax Fri 09-Nov-12 17:25:25

try - "i think you're talking bollocks & you are rude & unkind, but hey we all have to embrace difference"

AgnesDiPesto Fri 09-Nov-12 18:44:22

I think I must have gone overboard with my views in the past as now when someone says something negative about DS3 (ASD), DS1 and DS2 will usually yell really loud 'but mum isn't that disability hate crime and illegal' blush grin, we pretty much have a zero tolerance of ignorant a***holes in this house.

without exception the parents at school who are negative have really rude badly behaved children themselves.

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