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(14 Posts)
twitchypalm Tue 06-Nov-12 20:47:35

Hi i new to these boards but thought it would be the best place to post. Benn advised to post on here as opposed to special needs educational.

My ds is 7 in yr 2 i was called in for a chat by his teacher today. He has always been an active child doesnt sleep a lot and always on the go. We have had some challenging behavouir at home after school he goes in to a compleate melt down full stamping feet toddler style temper tantrum. School have always said he is a very bright child with no problems in school.

He had a new teacher from september and new class i thought things might improve at bit as he was in a mixed year class.

He has still been coming home having melt downs. His teacher said she had noticed some things with him that she wanted to discuss. Firstly he is very bright working at a level 5 already been free reading since end of reception year. However his handwriting isnt the greatest. His teacher said she has noticed that he cant still still with out fidgeting in class and his concentration isnt very good after 5 mins he looses all concentration.If someone next to him is making a noise he stands up and moves away .

The teacher had to shout in class today and he asked her not to as he didnt like it. Ds has never liked loud noises from a baby even my dyson hoover he says is to loud and a normal hand held drill. The teacher has said that she will give him extra work at home to help with his handwriting and to try and push him abit but she wants to have a word with the school senco to discuss the concentration and fidgeting issue and also the aversion to loud noises.

Can any of you peple with any experiance please advise me what they might be looking for many thanks.

Ineedalife Tue 06-Nov-12 20:53:32

Hi twitchy I am glad you came to join ussmile

What is your gut feeling about your Ds? Do you think his behaviour is outside the normal range?

twitchypalm Tue 06-Nov-12 21:00:00

Thanks ineedalife for the warm welcome smile

I honestly don't know if I was to compare him to my dd who is 15 months older I know you shouldn't they are like chalk and cheese. She is so laid back she is in last month will quite happily sit and read or draw for hours on end stay in bed all day if allowed.

Ds is exhausting as he has to be doing something from the time he gets up. he does 4 sporting activitys after school a week and when hes not doing them hes out on his bike or scooter. He doesnt seem to ever have down time where he just chills. He still wets the bed at night so is in pullups at night I know boys can take longer. he was always very advanced in every other way he was walking un added at 9 months. I don't feel the daily meltdowns after school are normal especially as he doesnt do it at school. Its as if he is trying so hard all day at school to be good as soon as he gets home a release valve goes off and we get it both barrels.

He has never like loud noises since he was a babyi just put it down to a trait of his. If there is something wrong i will do everything to support him and the school. I'm glad that its been picked up early this term so he wont loose a whole term.

Ineedalife Tue 06-Nov-12 21:34:47

The melting down after school thing is common amongst children whose needs are not being met properly at school.

I would recommend giving him some time and space to gather his thoughts after a day at school. I tend not to talk too much on the way home from school. I offer a drink and snack and then we walk. It is a 15 minute walk home and usually by the time we get in Dd3 has chilled a bit. Sometimes she needs longer sometimes she wants to tell me about her day straight away. I have just removed the pressure to give her chance to wind down.

I totally understand that you wouldnt want to compare him with his sister. Does he have many friends? Is he way livelier than them?

I think school is really hard for lively children especially as they get older. They are expected to sit and concentrate when they really may not be ready.

FWIW, I think it would be worth going ahead with the visit to the SENCO and see what she/he has to say.

I hope some more posters come and look at your thread as they might have more advice/suggestions than I do.

Ineedalife Tue 06-Nov-12 21:36:32

I forgot to say, I am off to bed now, I have a stinking cold and a good book calling to megrin

I will check your thread tomorrow to see if I can offer any more help.

Good lucksmile

twitchypalm Wed 07-Nov-12 09:18:01

Thanks for the reply he has wind down time after school as we have a 15 mins drive home where they have a snack and drink. He always comes out of school full of life and happily chatting about his day. He is the oldest in his class as hes an early oct birthday and there are some challenging children in his class this year.

Hope you feel better soon.

Has anyone else got any advice to offer or experiance of this thanks.

zzzzz Wed 07-Nov-12 09:45:11

It's possible that noise stresses him more than most people. Bed wetting and tantrums would seem to imply that he is quite an anxious child.

How does he relate to other children?

Does he have a good friend?

Does he interact well with adults?

How are sleep, diet, hobbies?

What have school done to stretch him academically?

twitchypalm Wed 07-Nov-12 09:53:28

Hi he seems to relate well to other children he plays with lots of diffrent children at school. Doesnt have one particular friend it can change daily who is best friend is.

He prefers time with adults such as helping dp fix the car than playing with the kids that live near us.

He has never slept for long he wont sleep in the car or 5 mins max if we are lucky. He can go to bed at 10pm and still be awake by 5/6 in the morning he has never slept past 7am even when hes been up till 1am at new years. He eats well loves fruit and veg maybe has some sweets once a week but not every week. Due to the sports he does he drinks loads of water but even doing 1 1/2 taekwon-do after a day at school hes still not tired likewise with football training and matches.

The school have set his work to his level hes is currently doing year 5 woek and they send him home with homework every night as he asks for it so academically they are doing everything they can with him.

zzzzz Wed 07-Nov-12 10:38:09

Warning bells aren't ringing, but it's interesting that he finds noise so difficult. Socially all sounds pretty appropriate. Academically high IQs can make life more complicated especially at primary/early secondary level. Have a nose around

www.mensa.org.uk/cgi-bin/item.cgi?id=525&u=pg_dtl_art_news&m=pg_hdr_art

Did you have concerns at all before the teacher mentioned issues?

Homework is good but all work during school hours should be differentiated or him. I have a high IQ child and some teachers are great at this and some just give her endless extra word searches etc.

There are lots of things that can help sensitive hearing, ear defenders, position in class etc.

Ineedalife Wed 07-Nov-12 11:09:31

I agree with zzzzz, bright children can be quirky and sometimes there is a fine line between Asperger type symptoms and just being really bright.

For a child to need a label their symptoms would need to be having an impact on their life in a negative way very frequently, probably everyday.

2 of my girls have Aspergers and they are both early risers even when they have had late nights. Dd1 has never slept well and Dd3 is getting worse as she gets older. However apart from anxiety keeping Dd3 awake I dont put there funny sleeping patterns down to their ASD I think it is just part of their personality. IYSWIM.

Having a bright child can be very hard work, it sounds like the school are doing well and maybe the SENCO just wants to check nothing is being missed.

mrslaughan Wed 07-Nov-12 11:35:46

i haven't read all the posts - sorry, but something that springs to mind is sensory issues - would explain sleeping issues, being on the go, and sensitive to loud noises....that is where I would start. Now DS is modulated the difference is huge.

Ihavenobum Wed 07-Nov-12 12:21:37

Sometimes a child who is very bright can have over-sensitivities to certain (or all) stimuli. ie if a child is visually bright they will take in a lot more than most which in a way can be a difficulty if in a class room setting with so much going on I should imagine if a child is spending a lot of their time trying to concentrate on one particular task which he/she can quite easily complete and there are many other small (un-noticed by most) things which could be a distraction to that child, chairs scrapping, lights flickering, someone coughing, outside sounds or activity, another pupil dropping a pencil...so many little things, it would I should imagine..again..eventually cause the child to need to unleash (for want of a better word) when they get to a safe place..namely home, your Ds is probably smart enough to know the implications if he was to react this way at school.

Research other possibilities, but do speak with the SENCO and as mentioned above go with your gut feelings after all you know your Ds better than anyone else smile.

twitchypalm Wed 07-Nov-12 12:34:37

Thanks for all the replies on this. mrslaughan Not wanting to sound daft here but when you stay start with sesnory issues how do you mean. Sorry for all the silly questions but this is a totally new field ive spent time with children with high functioning autisum before and he certainly doesn't have that.

I'm waiting to find out when im meeting with our senco who i know well anyway as she used to be my dds teacher. Which will mkae things easier as she knows my children.

When you say your ds is modulated what did they do for him. thanks again smile

Ihavenobum Wed 07-Nov-12 12:41:38

An extra note, don't let others perceptions of your Ds cloud your own, which I have.

My Ds has always been a logical thinker to me..until it was pointed out that he took things literal??. He is really sensitive to others feelings can pick up on the slightest change to a persons expressions and will ask if they are ok, will defend when others are hurting or being nasty to someone he cares about..but he lacks empathy?? now I sit and think does he lack empathy or does he not have the time of day for those who are nasty to others?.

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