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Homework. how much do you have to do for them?

(13 Posts)
HecatePhosphorus Sun 04-Nov-12 19:12:41

I am 38 years old. My school days are long gone. I seriously resent having to spend my evenings doing their homework.

I don't mean helping, I don't mean guiding, I mean doing. The level of support they need is so high that I am basically just spoon feeding them the answers.

I don't see the point in doing this. I don't see the point in the teachers marking my homework! And so when I've got to actually do it, I say so. There was no point them doing this because they weren't able to do it and there's no point submitting my work to you.

but they get detentions for homework not done! So my choices are do it for them or let them have a detention.

I'm going to raise it because I think it's ridiculous to expect me to do their homework for them with them sitting at the side of me (or not as the case may be)

How would you put it?

I'm thinking of asking why they are setting homework that is not at an appropriate level for them. Asking what is the point of asking for homework that they can't do. What would you say?

TheLightPassenger Sun 04-Nov-12 19:20:32

sounds like disability discrimination to me, giving them homework that they are unable to do, then penalising them for not doing it.

badgerparade Sun 04-Nov-12 19:25:19

I am in the same situation Hec. It is really hard work getting ds to start any work and then I have to be there to 'help' or he won't do it. He also gets loads of extended assignments that are spread over a few weeks and are absolute nightmares to get done. The annoying thing is that I'm sure a lot of the work doesn't even get read or marked but the teachers all notice if he hasn't done it sad
Ds has now said that he thinks school work is for school and at home he needs a break from school ( a common perception, I know). To be fair his anxiety levels are sky high at the moment and I have now said to school that he is not able to do any homework while he is so anxious as he cannot cope with it. He is unable to access PE at the moment so I was hoping school would let him do the homework then but this doesn't seem to be the case. I am a bit angry that a teacher wrote and said that perhaps he could do the work at half term when he is 'less stressed' yet when he was made to go part-time for a year no work was provided at all!
If the work is not at an acceptable level definitely raise it with the school. Maybe explain all the difficulties you are having and see what they suggest?

EllenJaneisstillnotmyname Sun 04-Nov-12 19:28:32

I also have to 'manage' my DS's (13, MS school with statement) homework, and he'll get a detention if it isn't done. I do try to make him do as much as he is able, to try to make sure he's getting something out of the experience and I don't think it's quite as far above his level as your DS's sounds. But I do resent having to do homework at 47! I even get a bit of a sick feeling on Sundays if it hasn't been done, just like when I was at school. sad

All I can suggest is that you get your DS to spend the right amount of time doing whatever he is capable of and writing this on the H/W. ie Hecate junior spent 40 mins on this H/w as your policy dictates. It is too hard for him, however, perhaps you could review your h/w differentiation? If that doesn't work, see the SENCo?

cornybeefhash Sun 04-Nov-12 19:33:15

Agree with light passenger re disability discrimination

I always help ds2 a lot with his homework. I'm not actually doing it for him but he would definitely be in detention without our support.

When ds1 was in mainstream I used to do it for him ( when it was in his diary)
He still ended up in detention all the time, as most things he didn't put in the diary or he couldn't remember properly what he had to do, so we ended up doing the wrong thing anyway. It was a lose-lose situation.

moleskin Sun 04-Nov-12 19:42:07

This drives me insane!!! 4 hrs it takes dd1 to do a simple piece of homework at a weekend. Because she huffs and puffs and won't concerntrate on it, whines she can't do it etc etc. It's a nightmare and its going to get worse I know it!!!

HecatePhosphorus Sun 04-Nov-12 19:46:50

Thank you folks.

It is driving me up the wall! I have to go through this with both of them. They just don't understand the work.

and it makes me think - if they don't understand the homework, then they clearly can't be understanding the school work, which means their TAs must be doing it for them!

What's the point of them being in school at all?

blueemerald Sun 04-Nov-12 19:48:05

Differentiation is Ofstead's new favourite thing. I would go in saying you are concerned that the work is not be differentiated enough for your child.

troutsprout Sun 04-Nov-12 19:48:09

I am ds's TA at home . I refuse to spoon feed him. He doesn't have one to one at school.. but there is someone in most of his lessons for him and another boy. She doesnt sit with him.she does provide frameworks for his work... Plus prompts, reminds him of task... Writes homework in planner etc.
She has a list of things she does. I stick to this at home now. They need a clear picture of him imo. If his homework isn't written in his planner and its not done ...then they know not to make anything of it. Similarily... If he can't do it and he's just sitting there and nothing is happening despite all the prompts, cajoling, framework etc.. ( Sometimes he gets really frustrated and just has a mental block) Then I write how long he tried and failed.
Tbh secondary has been fine about homework. Primary was a nightmare... They just didn't get it.

blueemerald Sun 04-Nov-12 19:48:57

Oh and "differentiation by outcome" is not good enough.

Ineedalife Sun 04-Nov-12 20:17:04

I put post it notes all over Dd3's homework if she hasnt been able to do it.

I am a bit peed off with her current literacy teacher who isnt taking on board what I am telling him. Yr 3 and 4 I had none of this so I know its not a school wide thing. Am off to see the SENCO on friday.

One of Dd2's teachers once wrote a horrible message in red pen at the bottom of her badly done homework. I wrote one back underneath in red pen stating that if Dd2 had understood what she was meant to do she might have made a better job of it. I then scanned the page and emailed it to the head of department.

Dd2 received an apology the next daysmile

I think you might need to take a much tougher approach with the school to get this sorted.

Good lucksmile

Nigel1 Sun 04-Nov-12 20:58:57

Hope this may be of help.

1. Why can he not do the HW? is it because -
a. Cant read what he has written
b. Cant remember what he has to do
c. It came out too fast for him to write it down
d. Didnt understand what he was expected to do
e. Something else?

Sch have a responsibility to give homework that is accessible for the child. So questions to ask are:

1. How long does he have to work for. After that period of time put an line in his book and sign it off to say that is what he did. Tell the school first to make clear that its at your instruction and if they want to argue argue with you not him. The school may not realise how difficult he finds things as in the classroom, kids can normally hide how bad they are.
2. If he cant read what has been written then tell the school and get them to scribe it for him. At the same time ask how they are supporting him during the rest of the time. Why cant he read his own writing. Does what he has recorded make sense?
3. If he is relying on his memory to do the homework and does not get it right then he needs to get it written down by a scribe to be in a position to at least start the HW.
4. If the school is giving out homework by dictation and he cant keep up then there is a reason for that and it needs to be investigated - in the mean time school to scribe it.
5. If he did not understand what he was expected to do for the HW then how much of the school day does he also miss out on? Needs investigation - scribe in the meantime.

It is his HW not yours. It would be useful to the school to understand what he finds difficult and why, so tell them.

Hope this helps.

HecatePhosphorus Sun 04-Nov-12 21:12:50

Yes it does, thank you. I'm really grateful to everyone. It's all really helpful.

I have loads of points I will be able to make now

Thanks all.

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