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So now we HE- and the half-term issues are the same......

(5 Posts)
siblingrivalry Sun 04-Nov-12 12:58:30

DD (11) has AS and SPD. We decided, after years of hell at school, to HE her at secondary age. We started 8 weeks ago.

She has, on the whole, started to be more 'settled', which is lovely; even though she still has the same difficulties, they tend to be easier to deal with without the pressure of school added to the mix.

However, we are at the end of half term and I have had a wake-up call: the school holidays are still going to unsettle her and cause problems (for now, at least).
DD2 is still at school, so she has been at home, shops and other places are busier and our routine is, inevitably, different. I have seen a gradual decline in her ability to cope as the week has trundled on. There have been tears, mini-meltdowns and lots of irritability and 'snapping'.
Last night, she said that everything was bothering her (TV/lights/talking) and she took herself off to bed very early-which is unheard of. The silver lining to this obvious sensory overload is that she recognised it and acted upon it herself.

But I was reminded of her school days this morning when she broke down and said that, while she loves the fun we have had, holidays make her feel so stressed and worried sad

I think it will take her at least a couple of weeks to settle back into HE, as I will need to do some stress-reduction and relaxation work. Her level of anxiety will also mean that most subject work will go straight over her head, as she just can't concentrate.

As Christmas approaches, I find myself struggling to find a balance between doing fun stuff and keeping things ordered and calm for DD1.

Sometimes I feel like I'm climbing a mountain -and as fast as I cover some ground, I'm pulled back again.
I'm thrilled at the progress DD is making at home, but my head hurts today and I'm tired.

Thanks if you read through this, I feel better for just saying it all 'aloud' so to speak.

mariammma Mon 05-Nov-12 23:58:25

You're only 8 weeks in. And the clocks changed too. It's probably all coincided with the honeymoon of no-school wearing off. Christmas may be the usual ASD disaster, but hopefully the spring half term will be ok.

Plus, all that stuff you've just spent 10 days doing ( i.e. going out-and-about, family interaction, daily life skills) is hard, educational, therapeutic work for a dc with ASD. So why shouldn't she (and you) now have a well-earned half term break.

siblingrivalry Tue 06-Nov-12 08:36:48

Ooh that sounds like a really good idea, Mariammma smile
Thanks for your reply - I often need to hear another person's viewpoint to keep me right!

I think I'm starting to realise I need to slow down and let DD set the pace.

zzzzz Tue 06-Nov-12 10:15:39

sibling half term has been muddling our HE here too. We started this term but have others at school so are still in a school year pattern. Ds is 7, and the others went back last week. It's better this week but not where I want to be.

siblingrivalry Tue 06-Nov-12 21:38:05

Yeah, it's hard to get settled, isn't it, when one dc is at school?
We have taken the great advice on this thread and made this week our half term.
It's calmed dd down - so fingers crossed.
Hope your week improves.

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