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Hello, my 9 year old (just yesterday!) ds has been concerning me for a long time now. I've been to the doctors and he read the list I took with me and he thought there were some issues there, basically need to speak to the school nurse who I've requested contact me via the school and the dr has also written.
He started a new school this September and we had parents' evening last week, his teacher also had concerns which I was both relieved and upset about. It was good to know that she had picked up on things too as I was so worried it was maybe just me! She was also glad that we'd noticed problems too.
She's liasing with the SENCO and they have already helped him with a couple of things he had problems with, one of which was constantly tapping his white board pen every morning in school (I thought that could be stimming?) so they've replaced that with a little toy that he can fiddle with instead. I think that would satisfy his need to do something but minimise the distraction to other children.
There were other issues in school with him and other children but if I paste the list I took to the drs I wondered if anyone could give me their opinion please? I've since had a few concerns about ds2 who is 5 but who has different concerns for me but I wondered if it could be the same thing (or maybe nothing, I really don't know).
Ok, this is the list I took with me.
Sensory issues: very bothered by the way clothes feel, has to wear socks inside out, cuts tags from clothes and toys, notices small noises that others don't and noises hurt his ears (that are usual sounds), crowds are too much for him to cope with and he gets extremely anxious and upset, the feel of clothes bother him so much that he sits in boxers at home quite happily
Self stimming, flaps his hands, makes strange squawking noises and other random noises, teacher said he makes random noises in class
Doesn't concentrate, has to be told the same thing over and over again and still doesn't really get it or pay attention.
Meltdowns, cannot cope and cries, rages, screams, hits, throws things, frustration
Collects certain things and keeps them in meticulous order, checks all the time to make sure it is all there and knows when it's been touched
Social issues: doesn't know when to stop with jokes or talking, doesn't really understand sarcasm or jokes fully, will talk about the same thing over and over without having a conversation more a monologue, doesn't know when to be quiet even after being asked to quiet down, unaware of social normalities, loud voice, no tact and says the first thing that comes into his mind, lacks empathy, everything has to be on his terms, unaware of the other person's interest, or lack of, in his monologue, takes comments literally, wants to have friends and conversations but struggles to do it, repetitive behaviour, narrow range of interests unlike other children his age
Has a very good memory of small details about things
Loves lego and building things, can easily make lego for older children, draws well, minecraft, could spend hours on this in his own world.
Sleeping problems: finds it hard to get to sleep and always wakes early
Prefers routine and struggles if plans change
Other than all that he does get on ok at school and plays, interacts with his siblings and us and other family etc but just not the way I'd expect. I hope that makes sense and I hope this isn't too long.
TBH, he sounds very similar to my DS2 (almost 9), who has a diagnosis of Aspergers. It's good that the teacher sounds on the ball and is keen to help. What has your GP suggested you do? Do you want a diagnosis?
His teacher seems excellent, he was at a different school for years and while they did have issues at times they never really did anything and as I wasn't sure i didn't pursue it at the time.
The gp said he could refer to cahms but that they prefer to be referred via the school nurse so he's written to her but said I could always go back to him for the referral if necessary. That's for an assessment to be done.
I would like a diagnosis if there is something there as I think he does need more support in school to get through it, I'm also worried that the changes in secondary school could make a big difference to him so it would be good to have things sorted by then. Obviously, I want to help him as much as possible too.
Did it take you long to get a diagnosis?
Hi cheese and welcome to the board
There are lots of "red flags" for ASD/Aspergers in your list.
My Dd3 has a diagnosis of ASD but we say she has Aspergers because she is very high functioning and we feel that she fits this box better.
FWIW, I think you are right to be thinking about secondary school, that is one of the many reasons we had for taking Dd3 for assessments. We feel that she is going to need lots of support moving into secondary and there is no way she would get it without a dx.
It took us 3.5 years to get a dx but that was because she is a girl and because her old school blocked all our attempts to get help for her.
If I were you I would go back to the GP and take him up on his offer of a referral, you might as well bypass the school nurse.
It sounds like you have found a decent school anyway, well done.
Yes from your list I would say there are a lot flagging towards ASD/Aspergers.
It took 14 months for dx for DS but I had to go second opinion route.
Take the referral offer from the GP as it can take months to get a date.
School sounds great on spotting and acting on issues
Thank you both. I'll make another appointment at the drs tomorrow and see how long that takes, it can take a while sometimes.
Ineedalife it's definitely more so for secondary as he copes ok at the moment, although is getting worse in some areas, but I can see it getting a lot worse when he moves up. Best thing I did was move him to this new school, I'm very impressed with his teacher too.
coff33pot Why did you need a second opinion? Very pleased with the school, I went into the parents' evening almost holding my breath but after she asked me how I thought he was getting on and I explained my concerns to her I saw her visibly relieved! She said it was good to know we're on the same page and that it's difficult bringing things up so was glad that I had.
Morning Cheese, it took us about 18 months to get a diagnosis but our DS was a bit younger. I first went to the GP when he was 4 1/2 as the school said they wouldn't refer until he was 7. He was assessed but although he showed autistic traits they were not 100% sure so he went back at 7 and that's when we got the diagnosis. Although he doesn't really need much help at school, I am definitely glad we have the diagnosis. I'd rather he was labelled autistic than "naughty/quirky/weird"! And if he does need more help in future, at least we have the diagnosis already which will hopefully make things easier. I don't think his school treat him any differently, but it definitely helps that they are aware as they can prepare him for any unexpected occurences and they know what's likely to worry him.
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