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Guidance on what to put on ds form for preschool please

(26 Posts)
SadieChanges Thu 25-Oct-12 12:19:40

Ds is just 2 , starts preschool in a less than 2 weeks. Since our visit to the preschool he has seen a paediatrician who recommended the ados assesment.

Ds is non verbal and shows many signs of asd. They have sent a form and ask for details of professionals dealing with him etc and also ask about him. I'm not sure what to put! They ask for things about him , special words and stuff.

The form is to taken on the first day but I'm now thinking perhaps I should discuss this stuff before then?

I worry so much he will be crying the whole time but everyone says it will be good for him. He gets overwhelmed and cries a lot even at home. I can imagine him in a corner with his dummy and sniffy and feel sorry for the other kids the person minding him has as he will keep them busy!

StarlightMcKenzie Thu 25-Oct-12 12:29:47

Why are you sending him to preschool? What are your goals for him for that action?

'everyone says it will be good for him'

Who has said this, and what was their rationale?

SadieChanges Thu 25-Oct-12 12:36:54

When we attend playgroups he very much enjoys playing with bricks/ Lego , he enjoys songs and music and they do that . He likes other woman especially is they are expressive and cheery it makes him smile.

I also hope it might be good for him to mix with children his own age in a more structured environment than playgroups offer.

The people that think it will be good for him are the ones who seem in denial of his asd which I'm certain he will be diagnosed with.

If he doesn't get something he wants he throws himself to the floor often banging his head . I spend a lot of time danger proving situations we are in but the rest of the world won't do that and even I can't all the time.

SadieChanges Thu 25-Oct-12 13:10:08

danger proofing not proving.

SadieChanges Thu 25-Oct-12 14:12:27

starlight I'm not sure what my goals are for him are. Sometimes I wonder if I'm not pushing him enough eg my mil thinks I should be potty training but if he doesn't speak and shows no sign of knowing when he is weeing or pooing how can that be achieved? Also currently it isn't a priority to me with his other issues.

I feel like some relatives think his issues are nothing and say he hasn't deteriorated so I'm not sure of myself re him. They don't spend any time with other 2 year olds and see the gulf like I do.

Everyone on here seems so switched on but even though I have tried to find information out I'm still struggling to know what to do.

SadieChanges Thu 25-Oct-12 20:14:05

Just checking back , would really appreciate any guidance , thank you.

StarlightMcKenzie Thu 25-Oct-12 20:21:19

I would put what you can. Has been referred for an assessment for autism. He is non-verbal. He is likely to need additional support settling in.

Put things that he likes so they can try to win his trust early on.

Can you have a more of a gentle start and plenty of visits before you leave him alone?

Ask if you can have a meeting to discuss him.

They will need to know in advance for staffing, whether they have any children with additional needs.

is this a funded placement?

Ineedalife Thu 25-Oct-12 20:23:29

Hi sadie, I work in preschool and we have had a number of Dc's with suspected ASD or other special needs over the years.

They often need careful handling and very gently settling in periods, if you really want him to go I would recommend that you speak to the staff before he goes and explain his difficulties to them.

If it is a good preschool they will suggest settling him in the best way for you and him and they wont suggest the "cold turkey" method. They should introduce you to his key worker and you should get chance to talk to her/him before you leave your Ds.

Take things slowly and if he settles, preschool could be good for him but dont be pressured into rushing him if he is not ready.

Good lucksmile

SadieChanges Thu 25-Oct-12 20:43:47

Thank you both . I had thought I had to just go cold turkey! He is actually quite happy playing and going off without me, it's just when something doesn't go his way he will get really upset and be hard to be ok again.

No it's not a funded placement. It's two mornings a week. I looked into it as I'm a sahm with no family / close friends so as I have a 7 month old too I hope it would be good for them both. Now I'm worried as the expectation seemed to be you just take them and come back 3 hours later ?

Ineedalife Thu 25-Oct-12 20:52:47

Sorry sadie I didnt mean to worry yousad.

You know your Ds better than anyone so you need to go with your gut instinct,
I really think it would be a good idea to talk to the staff about his difficulties before you go.

Take any comfort objects that he uses with you and make sure that the staff know that you want to be contacted if he becomes upset, especially if you know he is hard to calm.

Personally, I would think that a gentle start might be good for him perhaps an hour the first time. I would also recommend arriving after the session has stated so the the other children are settled when he gets there. If others are distressed when he arrives he could be unsettled by it.

Of course this is only my opinion and as I said you know him better than anyone.

Good lucksmile

marchduck Thu 25-Oct-12 21:13:06

Hi Sadie, I think this is one of the hardest aspects of this type of SN. Not only are you having to come to terms with it yourself, you are also having to deal with the reactions of family - possibly denial, disbelief, telling you about wee Jimmy-Joe round the corner who didn't speak until he was five but is now a politician etc...
It sounds like you have people in your life telling you what will be good for your DS, but don't forget that you know him best. As regards potty-training, I think it's pretty good going to have it started with NT children at just two years old. And where children have communication difficulties, it will usually take longer before they ready to start.
You have mentioned that your DS is under a paed, is he seeing any other therapists; e.g speech and language, occupational therapist? Could you ask them for feed-back on what you should mention to the pre-school
All the best to your DS and you.

SadieChanges Thu 25-Oct-12 21:17:14

At the moment he is seeing a nursery nurse for play therapy every fortnight. She gave me a few ideas on shared attention , getting him to ask for help with snacks and playing , which I do a few times a day now.

He hasn't been referred to a speech therapist yet as she said they use a different one for asd so it's best to wait until he is assessed . Although I worry it will be a big wait to see them after diagnosis.

AgnesDiPesto Thu 25-Oct-12 21:29:24

The nursery should be able to access an early years specialist teacher - similar to the play therapy. They may be able to apply for funding for additional staffing to give him 1:1.

Ignore the potty training DS (ASD) was 4 and we did intensively and he got it within a week but we had specialist support, its better to wait until you have help and advice.

Remember children with ASD are often delayed as well as ASD and take longer to reach the same milestones, but many do get there in the end with the right support.

Be careful about the play therapy etc often once you put a child in nursery all the help and advice eg play therapy, SALT etc you expected to get in the home stops and gets replaced with professionals who only work in settings - it varies from area to area how the teams are organised but here people don't put their children into nursery as it means losing other support in the home. So just check that help will continue to be offered at home.

Ask for a home / nursery communication book so you can share information - you don't always want to do that publicly at picking up time.

marchduck Thu 25-Oct-12 21:43:47

Sadie, that's brilliant that you are helping your DS already.
My DD had only few words at age two and wouldn't have been able to ask verbally for anything to do with snacks or playing. Is the play therapist/nursery nurse working on your DS's non-verbal communication skills? My DD started to communicate non-verbally; it took time before she could ask for anything.
A great recommendation for children with ASD which I learned about from this board is a book called "More than Words"; which you can get it from Amazon or Wimslow Press. It is brilliant.
I think I would also press for a referral to a SALT, even if its not the one who deals with ASD. My DD (3.9) has been in the system since she was just over two and has only recently been referred to the ASD SALT, but she has two other SALTs in the mean-time, which has been helpful for me, in terms of learning how to motivate her communication.

SadieChanges Fri 26-Oct-12 08:36:29

Thanks all for your input I do have more than words but have only read the first 30 pages so far . I have a 7 month old too so it's hard to find time to read and I fall asleep on sofa about 9 most night as she wakes and won't sleep again every night! I know I shouldn't make excuses but its quite hard . Yes we do non verbal communication where I put the snacks or toys in a sealed box and he passes it me nicely wherever I am and I say help. He had never brought anything to me so I was amazed how quickly he learnt to do it. His assesment is only in Jan so I will push for speech therapy of any sort then.

I need to make time to read the book but its hard in the week , I will make some time over the weekend with the help if dh, he can take them to the park.

StarlightMcKenzie Fri 26-Oct-12 08:57:33

Sadie, I'm sorry it's shit and unfair, but you're just going to have to find a way to give your Ds extra attention. Over the next few years you'll realise YOU have to skill yourself up wrt all the therapy your son needs, and mostly YOU are going to have to deliver it.

ilikemysleep Fri 26-Oct-12 09:17:10

Sadie, hello

Just one little note of caution. Is the nursery nurse from portage or other local authority preschool provision? If so, just don't up his hours to a level that they will withdraw. Even though she only comes 1hour a week she will know what she is doing and can model with you how to support his best development, and that is invaluable to you. He may enjoy the nursery but they won't be specialists and won't be able to advise you on SN processes and how to bring him on in the same way. So try to keep his preschool experience just low enough that the specialist play therapist can stay involved.

Good luck

SadieChanges Fri 26-Oct-12 11:33:21

Thanks , we are paying to send him to preschool for two mornings a week. How can that mean that I would not receive the nursery nurse who only attends fortnightly. I am aware I need to help my son but its hard as I don't have any childcare for my daughter so perhaps I should be shipping her off to nursery instead of ds but she is only 7 months and bf. We hope to move back home so we have more help. Perhaps we will pay for private therapy for him I don't think I'm much of a teacher!

SadieChanges Fri 26-Oct-12 11:36:03

The nursery nurse person I'm not even sure what her title is , I get so many people leaving messages! She is from the children's centre where he will be assessed. My hv said there was no such thing as portage here even though I thought that was play therapy which seems to be what is happening?

Can I ask if I pay to send him to preschool does that mean he won't receive help at home anymore ? Nobody had said this to me before ?

ilikemysleep Fri 26-Oct-12 11:48:50

Yes, might be advisable to check. In our area I think 2 mornings you are okay but if it were more the portage service withdraws. May be different in your area but a good idea to check.

SadieChanges Fri 26-Oct-12 11:54:53

God now I'm thinking I shouldn't have even thought of preschool if its going to take away the little help he has? I don't understand how it does though I thought it takes ages to get an assistant in place etc he hasn't been diagnosed yet ? I don't have any numbers to call anyone on so I wouldn't know who to call . My hv seems pretty useless as she tried to brush our concerns away when I called at 16 months and said there was no portage.

I actually don't have a clue what I'm doing , he had a developmental blood test the other week and I have no idea what I'm waiting to find out about as nobody has told me what they test for. From googling I see it might be fragile x and tuberous schlerosis .

SadieChanges Fri 26-Oct-12 12:18:01

I have found the number for the centre where the nursery nurse is from and I will check she will still visit us , as I have actually got him to communicate with me non verbally using the things she showed me. Sorry for rambling , I'm pretty stressed out about the preschool thing! Thanks all so much for taking time to comment , I have nobody to say this to in real life as it seems nobody wants to discuss ds and the stuff he struggles with. As though if you don't talk about it it will go away!

StarlightMcKenzie Fri 26-Oct-12 12:20:11

Sadie, don't be afraid. Small steps with you in the driving seat is what you should aim for.

Can you contact a local college or the preschool and see if you can get a student/young person to come and play/volunteer/get work experience with your 7 month old so you can work with your ds and start the More Than Words.

They won't be unsupervised, just in the next or even same room.

SadieChanges Fri 26-Oct-12 12:40:07

Thanks starlight , I hadn't thought about college but I had been thinking about homestart. It just feels funny asking for help. I think I should though as I know it's down to me to help him reach his potential. It's just on bad days I don't feel cut out for it!

StarlightMcKenzie Fri 26-Oct-12 12:49:25

yes to homestart. They are great.

But I think you probably need a bit more help than that, so can you recruit a help as well? the job description is nothing more than play with your 7month old so it should be easy to get someone for free or a little pocket money.

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