My son (13) had an appointment with a community paediatrician yesterday, and she said that she thought that he's borderline aspergers. I have to take him back in 6 months. He's very bright, but his social skills do concern me. He struggles to make friends, and doesn't seem to have the ability to chit chat (so won't ask the people he knows what they are doing at the weekend, what they watched on the TV etc). If I get cross with him about something, he'll constantly ask me 'are you OK, now?', which gets quite draining. I worry when I take him out, he does tend to be outspoken (telling people that spitting is disgusting/smoking will kill them etc), and I worry that people will hit him. He does get hit at school for the things he says sometimes. He's very over-sensitive, sudden loud noises really upset him, and he really goes on if he gets a paper cut. He's touch sensitive also, and will flinch if his granny tries to hug him, which upsets her a lot. His diary is full of entries about the computer games he likes to play, but very little else. He argues, and is so stubourn, but other times he can be really considerate and caring.
My DS is 13 next year and was dx as having high functioning autism at the end of yr6. I always thought that the traits he had were just him (oldest child so had no comparison) and basically we adapted our lives around him, after a disasterious school trip a teacher sat me down and after a long chat about what life was like she suggested he might have aspergers and encouraged me to go and "google" symptoms etc then visit our GP as it was very close to the time we were having to make decisions to which secondary school to send him to.
To cut a long story short we went to CAHMS got dx, have learnt new coping strategies, have a new understanding and appreciation of why he does what he does and when and got him into a school that suits him and supports his needs.
If you are still concerned then keep pushing for a concrete dx, it will open up doors for your ds to get help.
I've tried to speak to him, but he can't see that there's anything wrong. He knows he's 'different' but believes that everyone is different, and he can't see what his problems are. I'm really struggling at the moment, he's been at his school for 2 years and has just settled down. They called on Tuesday, telling me that his bursary has been removed so I now have to pay the fees or move him before Christmas. The secondary schools here are the worst performing in the UK, and I travel with them on the bus when I collect ds and it's a nightmare. They are violent, and all they talk about is who's fighting with who. The school he's in now is a lot smaller, 350 rather then 700-1300, and his class is small, 24 rather then 30+. He does seem to improve when I chat to him about things, then something else crops up so it feels never ending.