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going mad

(9 Posts)
pinkum Tue 23-Oct-12 20:26:29

hello just came over from the other side im the 5 year old ds tried to kill himself last week person. well what a week. had a meeting with his teacher today who said that he was going backwards and that itd be a good idea if we maybe moved his little brother who is just 4 out of the school as they are in a mixed class, even though ds2 has only been there a few weeks. im getting ds2 refered to ds1s peodatrician. ds1 is diagnised with adhd, anxiety and enuresis. ds2 has no diagnosis but is thought to be hyperactive at least. since the incident with ds1 diliberatly trying to strangle himself we have been to cahms who said they werent worried. family mental health is going to visit, ed phyc came and was told he was worried but ok. then today we got told by another teacher that hes going backwards and was full of doom. and that ds2 is distracting him and needs to be moved from the school even though hes only been there six weeks. iv had enough but i dare say that is not all. im getting heart palpitations, tight chest my stomach hurts. i dont want to go on medication im self employed and run all sorts of other stuff and have to be on the ball for my kids, but i am struggling. this is such a mess.

pinkum Tue 23-Oct-12 20:33:29

oh and btw ds1 has been biting himself now too. left marks for quite a while.

bochead Wed 24-Oct-12 12:03:49

DS1 - suicidal and self-harming
DS2 - disturbing DS1 so needs to be sent to another school as they are currently in the same class?

How about you look around for specialist provision for DS1 + transport to get him there? Or is there another school that would better suit both boys? Don't be scared to ask the LA as this situation is beyond daft now.

Does DS1 have a statement? If not go to the IPSEA website and put in an application today.

Legally if a kid is presented at A&E suicidal they have to be seen by a shrink within 24 hours. It can sometimes speed things up to do this on the health front, instead of being made to wait months for appointments while things get worse.

Bumping for you as you haven't had many responses. Paragraphs make it easier to read, especially as many are reading on mobile phones so may help those who could better advise you than I.

LateDeveloper Wed 24-Oct-12 13:36:52

Great advice from Bochead

Glad you made if over here Pinkum

I second applying for a statement and as I said on your earlier thread it would be helpful if school could organise a meeting and invite Cahms along.

It would also be worth trying to find out if there is a parent partnership helpline at your local authority who can talk you through what support is available in this area. They can provide someone to come with you to meetings if that would be helpful

lastly - please don't give it or be too hard on yourself. parenting a child with additional needs it difficult even with good support and your not getting any help at all.

pinkum Wed 24-Oct-12 19:28:35

hello. thankyou for the replies.

ds1 dousnt have a statement. cahms is sending a psyciatrist to observe him in a couple of weeks. both boys are being visited by a bloke from family mental health support team after half term.

we also are refering ds2 to peodiatrician.

why is it so important to have a statement?

i have been alocated a helper from somerset parent partnership, shes been great.

i asked the head straight if they are aiming at getting the boys out of the school, thye said no, but as its an intigrated class, having both boys in the same classroom isnt ideal.

we spent a long time choosing htis school, its a great school, we drive an hour round trip twice a day to get them there. our local one was put on special measures and has some realy rough kids in it too. im not prepared to split the boys up. theyd be very unhappy.

ds2 is very disruptive. he is stubern and needs allot of attention. experimenting with jumping from 7 ft +, hardly any sence of danger, runs off.

but at least people have stopped saying there just typical boys and have started going OMG they are crazy, especialy together. ifeel like saying welcome to my world.

what is the LA?

Ineedalife Wed 24-Oct-12 19:38:46

LA is local authority,

if the school is great then they should be working towards getting some one to one support for either one of both your boys, not trying to get rid of one of them.

The statement is a legal document which if it is any good will state what support is to be put into place.

Schools can put support in place without one but most dont.

Really feel for you and agree that it is good that people are seeing how hard it is for you.

Keep bumping this or ask a more specfic question about statements to get the clever bods on here who know what they are talking about.

Goodlucksmile

LateDeveloper Wed 24-Oct-12 20:04:13

A statement is not the only way to get support but if school and ds are not coping then more help is needed.

Glad you have got some things in motion. Keep posting questions and browse other people's threads to see how they cope with similar situations.

If school only has one class for the whole of reception and year one it must be really tiny! Small schools can be good for anxious kids the downside is they often have less experience of and resources for dealing with challenging behaviour.

LateDeveloper Wed 24-Oct-12 20:04:13

A statement is not the only way to get support but if school and ds are not coping then more help is needed.

Glad you have got some things in motion. Keep posting questions and browse other people's threads to see how they cope with similar situations.

If school only has one class for the whole of reception and year one it must be really tiny! Small schools can be good for anxious kids the downside is they often have less experience of and resources for dealing with challenging behaviour.

pinkum Thu 25-Oct-12 13:15:03

yes the school is realy tiney. we chose it because of that and that its got a 1 ofstead and its realy loving nurturing enviroment.

Im looking forward to having a bit of time with my boys over half term without being interfeared with for a change.

It seams I cant go a day without someone phoning. Itd just be nice if it was someone who knew what they were talking about.

people dont just fit into neat little boxes, my kids certainly dont. And neither do I.

The trouble is its making me sad and I need to be in a good head space to work and do all the other stuff that needs doing so I realy feel like Im dropping the ball.

I know I need to sort it all out for my boys but its so hard when your trying to coordinate all these profesionals. allot of them think its all terrible, cams say its fine and not to worry, now their sending in a psyciatrist.

I hate feeling down. Im normaly realy cherpy but I feel like I keep getting hit over the head. I dread it every time I have to talk to someone or the phone rings incase its more bad news.

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