Today is a day of mixed emotions...........

[bigbluebus]

because my very special DD is 18. But she is completely oblivious to it all. I have just put her on the bus to school, complete with Birthday cake (which she can't eat). They will be having a 'pamper' party in class this afternoon to celebrate, which is lovely. But as I came back in the house, alone, I shed a tear for the fact that her life is so different to that of other 18 year olds. She is still really a baby.
I am happy, because she has made it this far... there have been many times when we didn't think she would, so today is a real milestone when we recognise that medical science has got her this far. I am happy because of all the fantastic people we have met along the way - professionals, many of whom have been incredibly supportive and gone the extra mile, friends, particularly those who have disabled children of their own, so understand exactly how life is and not forgetting the support of friends whom I knew before DD was born, who have stuck by us even though our lives are very different to theirs, and of course our family, who have been there in times of crisis and have accepted DD for who she is.

But at the same time, I am sad. Her life is so different to what it should be. She is totally reliant on others for her day to day needs, which makes her very vulnerable. Today, we leave behind 'Childrens Services' and move on into the world of Adult Social care - which is very different. Many of those professionals that we have 'bonded' with over the last 18 years are gone..... and not surprisingly, the new ones are not yet in place! All those years of learning to trust other people to care for DD in respite and now we start again at the very beginning. It is a very scary time for us.

So as I sit here typing this, the tears are pouring down my face on what should be a day of celebration. In a minute, I will pull myself together, put up DD's birthday cards and decorate the living room with 18th banners and balloons in the hope that, when DD gets home from school,she will notice that today is a day with a difference, and its all for her, because we love her so very much. Happy 18th birthday DD - you have changed our lives beyond recognition and made us better people as a result of that.

[coff33pot]

(((Hugs))) I am sorry you have such a turmoil of feelings inside today x

It's harder with the changes to yet another system on top of this big milestone. Hope it goes smoothly and hassle free for you.

Happy 18th BIrthday to your DD I hope she has a special day at school today.

[bigbluebus]

Thanks coff33. I hadn't realised it would be such an emotional day for me.

[Lougle]

It's 09.40 and I'm crying :/

Happy birthday, bigbluebusgirllady

[StarlightMcKenzie]

Oh Happy Birthday!

A celebration for the whole family and the beginning of a journey. It might not be smooth, but it should be okay, because look what you have done so far!!

[mymatemax]

Happy Birthday to your dd.

What an emotional day for you, allow yourself the tears, be kind to yourself & i hope you all enjoy a lovley birthday evening with your dd & the people who love her.

[sweetteamum]

What a heart felt post Big

Happy Birthday to your DD and big (((hugs))) for you. Her V.I.P. Mum, who has and will continue to support her and be there for her, whenever she needs you.

& * [some tissues] before you start preparing.

[bigbluebus]

Thanks for the good wishes and support everyone. I don't 'do' crying very often, but I seem to be making up for lost time today! I'm going to pop out to town now, in the hope that it will stop me sobbing - at least for a short while!

Love the 'formation' ZZZZZ!