Couple of AS questions

[lindsay7777]

For the past year, I've been looking into things for DS1, who has always had certain minor issues and oddities but these have recently caused problems, meaning I have started looking into it.

My obviously very professional and clearly 100% accurate (haha) diagnosis is that I think he has mild AS. Of course, this could be wrong but from my point of view almost everything fits... albeit mildly.

So my main question is whether anyone knows whether "mild" AS children could come off as fairly normal in school? DS's teacher was shocked when I asked for a referral and said she wouldn't have even considered it (AS). I would agree that most problems that we have show up at home, not at school. He deals with school well because it's a fairly structured environment and he is really bright so does really well at his work. I know that issues have arisen in the school yard at lunch/breaktime, but of course the teacher isn't aware of these as she's not there.

My aunt is also a teacher (at another school) and only sees DS fairly briefly once a year, for a few hours over a few days. She slammed my "diagnosis" and said that she's used to dealing with AS kids and that DS was just "bright, highly intelligent, and high strung" (which is certainly true). She also said that AS kids can't "hide" their traits (or I guess be pretty normal in the classroom). I'm wondering if this is true, or if she's not looking at the whole spectrum possibility (and therefore if DS was mild on the spectrum, then he may be able to compensate/adjust in school, and "let go" at home).

Ideas? Please?

Oh, and as a secondary thing, if you have gone through an AS diagnosis with your DC and your DC doesn't have really prevalent AS traits, what sort of things would you recommend to prove your case/show them? I think it's going to be an uphill battle for me, and am almost resigned to not getting a diagnosis... TIA for all advice and thoughts :)

[lindsay7777]

Thank you. I am in the UK and did go through the GP for referral but initially didn't know what I was looking at and so just gave a list of symptoms and "guessed" bi-polar (psychologist asked me why I was concerned) so in 2 appts he "proved" to me it was not that and our case was dismissed. I was really disappointed as he didn't look at any other possibilities :(

I was told that we could get referred through the school by going through the educational psychologist, which we are now doing. However, I'm not sure school support this but they have asked for it for me. They will be included in the meeting. I may not get anywhere with this if they refute anything I say and therefore my case is not strong enough (or, as you said Poltergoose, I'm just seen as a crap parent, etc).

I'm so sick of people just thinking I'm not parenting enough/right! I have tried everything I know!!!!

Currently about 100 pages into the Tony Attwood "Asperger's Syndrome" book and just thinking "yes...yes.... yes.... " to almost everything I read, even if just on a low level. It is SO him (DS). The other interesting thing is that now that I've tried approaching DS like that (with AS things in mind) I've had the most success I've ever had in dealing with him. He's really responding. And I'm understanding that there are things I need to make allowances for, and approach in another way. So it is really helpful. And yes, for me, I can see that his brain works differently from other peoples' but I think a lot of people have put that down to how bright he is (ie. that is the difference). I think it is that if people asked his peer group about him, they'd get some interesting responses from them that would support things. But he's not unable to carry on socially (especially now with the tips I've been giving him, and "teaching" him social behaviour). I do hope that he'll one day be totally able to cope. I think that is achievable.

BTW, the only reason I want diagnosis now is in case DS has problems going into comp in a year and a half... he's year 5 now. I know how long diagnosis would take if we started then.

[KOKOagainandagain]

At present DS1 'only' has independent diagnoses (made by Developmental Peadiatrician and specialist SALT). The Comm Paed he saw for statutory assessment suspected ASD but the comm paed he has seen previously and who sent the CAST questionnaires to home and school has refused to refer him on to the ASD team because the school questionnaire was negative. DS1 camoflauges his behaviour at school and this used to be a great mystery to me but it is actually very common with some children with ASD. It is difficult to get this view across and I was repeatedly dismissed prior to getting reputable expert opinion. Even with that I may have to request second opinion. There have been lots of threads about school staff viewing parents (particularly mothers) as neurotic or suffering from MBP or reporting them to SS when they try to collect documentary evidence (photo/video) of the difference in behaviour at home and school.

At the same time as going down the medical route to diagnosis (GP referal to comm/dev paed) you need to consider how well his needs (assuming he has any) are supported at present at school. The first term of year 5 may seem early but things have a tendency to take ten times longer than necessary. In my own case school requested EP involvement in the autumn term of year 5 - fast forward 2 years, draft statement has only just arrived and DS was unable to make the transition from primary to secondary.

[Ineedalife]

Dd3 is y5 too, she was finally dx'ed last year after a 3.5 yr battle.

She used to be invisible at school but is more herself since I moved her. She can and does fit in most days but it is hard work for her. Since I explained to her about her ASD she has allowed herself to relax a little at school which is great.

I was mainly concerned about her transition to secondary and still am really but at least we stand a chance of getting some support now she has a Dx.
Our comp do a good transition but i have a feeling it goes downhill from there for those with sn's

good luck whatever you decide

[FangsForBloodyNothing]

I think you are doing exactly the right thing.My ds was like yours ,only diagnosed 2 yrs ago at 10 and I must admit that what was barely noticeable then is a lot more noticeable now.Anxiety in particular,which he never had,is causing problems in secondary.You are completely doing the right thing and if he is diagnosed then he will be able to access the necessary support in secondary.Good luck.