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I am losing it and not sure what to do.

(11 Posts)
hoxtonbabe Thu 18-Oct-12 18:49:46

Ds school has now gone from keeping him behind after school, to now making him do these "support sessions" in his break AND lunch!!

He said at the moment doing it in lunch and break is not bothering him as it is getting cold outside so doesnt mind being indoors, however I still do not think it is acceptable to do this, especially as the teacher that is dishing out these detentions "work support" met him at his locker at hometime today and told him to go to the session, even though I had told my son he was to come home. I had to remind my son that as much as I have always taught him to be respectful to his elders, in this instance, he must not defy me, the deputy head has now for the second time said to my son "who runs the school" The bottom line is I am his parent, and I have final say...END OF and they should not be encouraging my child to go against me...and all this from a Catholic school

They know they will have a very weak agruement if the exclude him...what will they say, "well we have detained this boy becasue he needed extra support, for not being able to write quick enough or being able to understand or keep up at the same pace as the 1st set boys even though we as a school acknowledge he has difficulties, hence us putting him in the lowest set of all (5th) for all his core subjects and in fact forced him to do an ASDAN which is reserved for the most needy. We did not think it reasonable to use it out of his 13 hours support (not specified as 1:1), nor did we see fit, despite telling the LEA that he will have an LSA for this particular subject and not putting it in place to try and find a more stable non victimising way. The mother kept insisting that we do not keep her son after school and becasue he did not attend xxx times we had to exclude him as set out in our policy...Oh sorry, we forgot, no such penalty is actually in our policy, but we thought we would just do it anyway as we feel it is for his own good"

I was going to write a letter to the Chair of governers, but at that stage where I cant make sense as I am so angry.

I asked the school to tell me what exactly he had done to need these forced support session, they refuse to respond, I asked last week for the Head or Deputy head to meet to come to some middle ground..I still have no response, I have asked for them to point out where in their policy it states the can detain boys for not understanding their work, no response. The only time they reply to me is to scold me.

The idiot head writes in his letter that "the 13 hours statemented support is for classroom time, work support sessions are provided as extra support in work, as the name suggests for pupils who are experiencing difficulties for whatever reason"

Last I knew all his subjects were part of classroom time. Half of me is thinking please let them continue this and let them shoot themselves in the foot as it is all mounting evidence to take the LEA AND the school back to SENDIST, but at the same time I cant just sit back and watch this madness.

Any advice??

1950sThrowback Thu 18-Oct-12 19:24:58

You sound very upset - and I am sorry if I missed a previous thread - I am not the quickest on the uptake -so I don't follow exactly what is happening .... Do you think the sessions are putting too much pressure on your son or are you saying that they are doing this instead of supporting him properly in class? or is it because it is more like a detention punishment than a genuine support session?
Also how old is your son? Is he the only one being made to do these - my dd's school seem to have a mass programe of these for any child at GCSE maths or science who is borderline between grades - as they are desperate to get as many A/B/C grades as possible.

StarlightMcKenzie Thu 18-Oct-12 20:02:20

Explain that your ds has to work harder than a nt child just to sit and listen, that he is exhausted at the end of the day and needs the down time.

Support needs to happen at the time he needs it, not by extending an already exhausting day.

You will be at the school gates every day at pick up time and expect your ds to be released to you, having been supported in whichever subject he is struggling with AT THE TIME of struggle.

hoxtonbabe Thu 18-Oct-12 20:54:36

1950s: I am saying they should be supporting him in properly in class, plus the detention masked as work support is coming across more of a penalty (as the teacher said any boy who does not get a minimum of 7/10 will have to do the extra session" and the reason why am saying it is a detention is becasue they are insisting my son does this, and the only time schools have the legal right to detain a child it for eitehr behaviour or not adhering to any class or school work set..my son did the work, just did not fully grasp it, so in effecf they are issuing an unlawful detention/penalty. Work support should be optional, and while I have no issues with the support per se, it is the fact that they are taking it away from his breaks or doing it after school when he has a statement which should be addressing these issues. He is not the only one getting this, but one has to bear in mind, he is in a group of boys working at the top level, he is at the bottom and in a new class structure he has not been used to as he is now in a mixed ability class (he was notfor the last 3 years) therefore unfair to expect him to consistantly be able to compete with boys on the verge of sitting some exams in Y10...this puts him in a disadvantage and in effect discrimination as he is more likey to keep getting these detentions compared to the rest of the class, due to the pace, etc..which he is known to have a difficulty with.

starlight Very good points, I have not managed to figure out waht NT means though :-(

StarlightMcKenzie Thu 18-Oct-12 20:59:52

Neurotypical

hoxtonbabe Thu 18-Oct-12 21:09:24

Cheers!

mariammma Thu 18-Oct-12 22:05:11

Ring this lot to restore your faith in Catholic schools. And to ask advice re how to proceed.

Veritate Thu 18-Oct-12 22:24:15

If they think he needs extra support, they should be arranging for it to happen during lesson times, not outside. Depriving him of all his breaks and opportunities for play, relaxation and socialisation seems to me to be clear disability discrimination.

hoxtonbabe Fri 19-Oct-12 07:15:29

This is why I love this place. Due to my anger I did not even think of his social side, and oddly enough that is the one area the LEA agree with, that he needs to improve his social skills.

DS said he doesn't mind, but I think he is saying that due to just wanting a quiet life. He is not particularly bookish so staying in at breaks to do work isn't something I have ever known or heard him wanting.

I'm going to write a letter to the chair, and in some ways hope he too behaves like an idiot as then the arguement I had along with the EP saying the school view his needs as a behaviour issue rather than an actual need will serve me well when I slam them with a disability discrimination as this time I will have proof the the mindset of the school is like this right from top to bottom and so far has not and can not ever meet his needs.

Whistlingwaves Fri 19-Oct-12 07:25:38

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

hoxtonbabe Fri 19-Oct-12 08:25:33

It's not all playtimes/breaks as it is a as and when needed situation, but either way it still should not be happening.

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