DS is doing really well at his school. He has been there 10 months.
However, his relationship with his TA is poor. He cannot stand her. He had a good relationship to start with but, somewhere down the line, she decided he was naughty and started telling him off for every last little thing, including how he eats, what knife and fork he uses, the tone he asks for things in etc etc
He is 9 and has Asperger's. His problem with school in the past is OVER-compliance - this non-compliance is not good!
I have raised this several times with school, especially last term in the summer when she was clearly losing patience and calling him 'naughty' 'rude' etc all the time. His 6 year old brother witnessed this.
Head decided it was better to concentrate on getting help from the teacher. This promotes independence but it does impede the delivery of provision on his statement if he doesn't want her near him.
All those little things, like checking he has understood are just not being done because of it and I found out this week that he had not recorded any of his house points this term because no one had told him how. He was ok but it makes me really sad that a child with a full-time TA isn't getting this support.
At the start of the term, the TA then decided to change all his routines without warning, so she was going to make him line up in the playground, sit on the carpet etc. DS again became non-compliant. She agreed to back off but DS says she says things like 'that will change, you won't be able to do that for much longer'
Things have got so bad that teachers will report he does things for them but not for her - yet that somehow his fault?
Today I was confronted by the teacher (new but with some experience of ASD) telling me he had been 'very rude' to the TA. The children had been lining up in the playground but he doesn't do that, he is allowed to go in a side door. The TA told him to stop but he ignored her and went in.
He was told this was rude and made to apologise.
I explained about the difficult relationship with the TA and was told to discuss with the head which I had done.
When I spoke to DS, it was clear that, given past experiences, he thought the TA was trying to unfairly stop him using his usual way in. He hadn't a clue why people were angry or why this was rude but his teacher has made him apologise by saying 'look at Mrs X when you say sorry'.
After school, I spoke to the SENCO and teacher (I didn't know all the facts at the time) but it was suggested we use a book and this is where DS has written all the above.
I am really upset as this school has really tried but I feel there is an attitude, propagated by his TA (who was a teacher and whose views are given too much weight) that he is just 'rude' or 'naughty' and that no attempt is made to get to the bottom of things despite ample training interventions.
DS is happy there but it is grinding me down so I have just emailed the SENCO with a plea for understanding.
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Am I overreacting? TA problems
21 replies
inappropriatelyemployed · 17/10/2012 19:18
OP posts:
Toughasoldboots ·
18/10/2012 00:32
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