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I think DS1 (6, ASD in MS) needs a break, anyone else do this?

(17 Posts)
HotheadPaisan Mon 15-Oct-12 21:54:14

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

moosemama Mon 15-Oct-12 22:00:43

As it's coming up to half term, could you take him out for a few days before they break up, thus extending the holiday?

I was advised to do this by the EP when ds1 was really struggling. We signed him out sick the week before half term, then there was the holiday, then an inset day, so he had a really good break with lots of pj days to build him back up.

Ds2 has hypermobility syndrome and gets really tired by the end of the week. He has had two Fridays off already this term with what are basically exhaustion related symptoms. Not exactly ill, but not well enough for school, so things like nausea, headaches and generally being weak and exhausted. I try not to do it too often, but at the same time I think we have to use our own judgement to know when enough is enough and they need a break.

Catsdontcare Mon 15-Oct-12 22:02:28

Watching with interest as ds has just started school and I think it is going to exhaust him. At the moment we are just making sure that when he comes home after school everything is relaxed and he can just chill with his toys or the tv. Long baths before bed etc. when was in pre school I often gave him days off, sometimes even a week but I'm not sure that will be the right way forward now.

Catsdontcare Mon 15-Oct-12 22:03:31

Sorry meant to say ds also has asd. Extending the holidays is a good idea moosemama.

5ThingsUnderTheBed Mon 15-Oct-12 22:07:57

Does he get any breaks at school, or is he worked all the time?

Ds2 has ASD and in ms. He has 32.5 hours 1:1 though. His 1:1 takes him out the classroom if she feels he is lagging and they do other things. They have also been given funding for DS to go to the local SN respite place once a week to access the activities there and he likes doing that, gives him a break from the constant work at school.

moosemama Mon 15-Oct-12 22:08:20

It's worth checking out their timetable. Often Fridays are less demanding and involve free choice or play in the afternoons, so it's not such a disaster if they miss them every now and again.

AgnesDiPesto Mon 15-Oct-12 22:13:20

DS (neary 6), year 1 only goes 5 half days. He makes up the time in 1:1 (ABA) at home- but finds school much more tiring as its so bloomin noisy. And he gets regular breaks throughout the school session (as rewards for having done stuff first).
SEN officers are always saying 'he must be in school fulltime', as though its truly terrible he is not there FT and he is missing out. But EP is onside and even the new teacher has 'got it' - she said 'if he was in school more I just see him spending his time outside the class in 1:1, he would not be any more included than he is now'. I was so pleased! He could physically be in the school building more but he would not benefit from being in the classroom more without compromising the quiet 1:1 learning time that he really needs to learn everything that he then goes into class to 'practise'. When he is in class he does well and is really part of the class but he can only manage that in small doses.
His timetable is a combination of 1:1, small group and large group - with large group being the most challenging place where he learns the least. We could not at the moment increase the time he spends in class without decreasing his overall rate of learning. Overtime hopefully he will be able to learn in a large group, but we're not there yet.
I would not be surprised if your DS learnt more by being in class less.
Could a significant % of the 1:1 happen in a quiet area in school?

mymatemax Mon 15-Oct-12 22:30:51

yes I would say that it is advisable to give him a break of you feel he needs it but longer term it may be good to build in some quiet time to his school day
Until last year ds2 had a big fleecy blanket & his sensory sniffy things in school & he would get regular breaks throughout the day to wrap himself up & sniff away. His 1 to1 would take him to wherever was quiet at the time, library, staff room, heads office. Once he had had a little break he would have a cup of cold water and return to join in with the school day.
School for ds2 is so sensory stimulating that he finds it hard to relax without building in relax time. Anybody tense for that length of time in a day would find it totally exhausting.

HotheadPaisan Mon 15-Oct-12 22:34:34

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

HotheadPaisan Mon 15-Oct-12 22:39:19

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

HotheadPaisan Mon 15-Oct-12 22:45:23

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

sazale Mon 15-Oct-12 23:14:21

My DS 5 year 1 has had enough of school and so have I! I'm contemplating reducing to part time coz something's gotta give. He has hypermobility and a phonological speech disorder that greatly impacts his literacy and means he's unable to read yet and his working memory is poor. His hypermobility is extreme in his hands which makes writing very difficult. The independent salt observed him today and confirmed my worries that his social anxiety is presenting as a form of selective mutism. His teacher says he's not engaging in class and he is finding it harder and harder to attend. The SENCO would have you believe everything's rosey in the garden and he's no more anxious than any other year 1 child! He's due to start his assessments with the CDC to see if his social anxiety is caused by ASD!

I feel so bad sending him somewhere where he finds it all so hard and it makes him so sad but I'm not sure what to do. He's such a happy, placid and caring little guy and school is sucking the life out of him.

sazale Mon 15-Oct-12 23:18:03

I kept him home one day last week when he was curled up in a ball crying about going to school. Rang and told them the truth and instead of reassuring words and concern we were greeted with the SENCO telling us that it will be unauthorised absence and the EWO will be in touch as we are impacting his education! When my other half replied that he didn't care and if he's not engaging how is it impacting him?! She replied that he is engaging as she sees him regularly to which he replied I think you should speak to his teacher then as that!s what she said at parents evening!

justaboutchilledout Tue 16-Oct-12 00:04:34

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

HotheadPaisan Tue 16-Oct-12 09:34:08

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

moosemama Tue 16-Oct-12 10:12:16

Sazale, in your position I think I would de-register him and homeschool, at least until after his assessment. SENCO sounds like a real piece of work. I would then look for a different school. If they are going to threaten you with EWO and ignore your concerns, they are never going to have your ds's best interests at heart.

I made the mistake of not pulling ds out at that age and now regret it, as it's so much harder to do once the child get's entrenched in the 'I have to go to school' brainwashing.

Our school has many faults, but they agreed that ds needed a week off prior to half term when he had simply had enough and wasn't coping - and that was based on how he was at home, rather than at school.

Hothead, glad the school were positive and willing to work with you to make sure he gets enough breaks.

StarlightMcKenzie Tue 16-Oct-12 10:20:26

DS has learning breaks built into his day. Often he is taken outside to do star jumps but sometimes just for some quiet.

I'm not especially happy with the number of learning breaks he has because I think he knows how to increase their number by being deliberately fidgety, but the point is, they are recognised as needed.

Some of our children work twice if not more as hard as nt children, to understand, to hear through the noise, to focus when lights, movement etc. are continuously distracting them, and to recognise and regulate their own emotions.

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