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DS (asd) has recently realised people die causing major anxiety and upset

(5 Posts)
boredandrestless Fri 12-Oct-12 12:36:55

DS is 8 and has ASD.

He was watching UP last week, he's had the DVD since it came out a couple of years ago and has watched it soo many times, but this time he realised that the wife in the story died, and that she died because she was old. He's never realised this before.

Since then he has been crying on and off ever since. He is SOO upset and worried about dying. "I don't want to die and be without you mummy" "If you die who will take care of me" "WHY do people have to die".

He's had a major aversion to growing up, and changing for as long as I can remember, and it was his 8th birthday at the weekend. So I think all the "ooh aren't you getting grown up" related birthday comments, and his new knowledge about old age = death has meant he is really struggling.

I don't know what to say to him to comfort him, but have been focusing on how positive life is.

He also doesn't seem to see some obvious things at times - like worrying about dying of old age and being without me, I'll be long gone anyway! sad He has 2 older half brothers, but no siblings he lives with, and I am a single parent. I feel so sad for him and don't know how to comfort him.

I discovered recently that he believes in god and jesus (influence from school I was unaware of), however I am an atheist so am uncomfortable with discussing concepts like heaven.

Any advice most appreciated. I looked on the NAS website but it is all focused on when someone dies, not on worrying about death in general.

boredandrestless Sat 13-Oct-12 22:25:21

just bumping for the weekend crowd

lisad123 Sat 13-Oct-12 22:42:58

Would you rather he didn't believe in god at all? If your not fussed about it might be a good comfort for him.
I don't really have any advice as we do believe in god and take great comfort in the bibles promises.
Do you know which bits of it his worried about? Is it the pain? What happens? Missing someone?

coff33pot Sun 14-Oct-12 01:24:35

DS refuses point blank tht god exists and is insistent the earth was made by the Big Bang. He cannot adjust the fact that if he can't see him then he can't exist.

But he has bought that when you are born your family chose you from a special star and when you die you go back to being a star angel to shine light on your family for protection until they meet again and go star hopping smile

TirednessKills Sun 14-Oct-12 09:32:06

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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