Does stimming ever subside?

[frizzcat]

Ds8 has always talked to himself - but in the last few months hes seems yo br doing it more frequently he pulls these funny faces usually smiling wide open mouth and shakes his head, with eyes closed.
This obviously sets him apart and providesmuch entertainment for other children in his ms school. Does this change with time? Do I tell him not to do it? Especially as I think he's doing it to cope - is it possible to give him a replacement behaviour that's more appropriate?
The thing is we're going for statement review and I'm looking to be more proactive in helping his social skills / he wants friends and needs help in doing that - but children are cruel and his efforts will be marred by the stimming
Any experience/advice appreciated

[madwomanintheattic]

Try replacing it with something less socially obtrusive. It shouldn't be necessary, of course, but tbh sometimes we can make our kids lives somewhat easier with minor adjustments.

Ds1 gets into cycles of stimming, and then they go away. I am absolutely hard nosed about it, and every time he starts a new stim, I'm right on it. I have no desire for him to be picked on or laughed at for a stim. It's hard work, but he can overcome them.

I think you'll have most success if you can work out what feedback he's getting and try to replicate it in a less obvious manner... Verbal stuff is hard.

[Penneyanne]

We have problems with stimming Frizzcat.My ds is in his last year at primary and his stimming is rocking and flapping when excited or listening to music. The advice we have been given by psychologists is that it is ok to let him stim but he must learn that it is really only appropriate to do this when he is on his own as its not socially acceptable to do it in public.
I must say,that as he is maturing,he is self-regulating this really well.He never flaps anymore as he knows people will stare and he confines the rocking to when he is alone(most of the time anyway).He had a special sensory/rocking cushion to sit on at school,which prevented him from rocking in class,but he doesnt need it this year.
I suppose what I am saying is that maturing plays a big role with ds as he is now aware of being different and doesnt want to stand out.
The last psychologist we spoke to said that if you try and stop the stimming completely,it is often replaced by something far worse such as self-harming.It is a sensory need which children like this will always have.
You could try giving him a fidget toy to carry in his pocket for when he is feeling stressed or something like that.Sorry,probably not much help to you at all but that is my experience.

[frizzcat]

No penny that is really useful I've been thinking of something he could fidget with
Mad - I also take a hard line approach - my rule is he can do want he likes at home but not outside. The thing with that is I think he's trying to control stress or over excitement to avoid a melt down. I was thinking of maybe trying finger/thumb tapping - where you tap your fingers on your thumb one after the other iyswim

[madwomanintheattic]

Ds eye rolls, but he also rocks, and makes a bizarre guttural noise in the back of his throat, and triple swallows. He's not a flapper, but does tap with his feet. I'm not convinced the tapping is a stim though - he can't stop it, but I think it's more ADHD than asd. Like Penney, he had a cushion for school, and they also tie a black dynabands around the legs of his chair so that he can push against it. He also sensory seeks by putting the desk legs on top of his feet and leaning on it. Because he has both ADHD and asd traits, we use a lot of fiddle type toys as distraction, too. They are fine for the gross motor stuff, but they don't offer the same sensation as the eye rolling and mouthing...

I find they get worse when he is tired or overstimulated by something else, so sometimes changing the environment can work, too...

[madwomanintheattic]

He carried around a bit of string/ cord for most of last year, and would play Cat's cradle with it - I also TA'd for a boy who carried a Rubik's cube. He would stand up and sit down (kind of like stretching) but repetitively, until we replaced it with the cube. For him it was the pressure of changing lessons - he found moving from classroom to classroom difficult, and so had to get up and down many many times before he could settle. There wasn't enough time in transitions to allow it to carry on, so he would sit down and then get out his cube to busy with until he was settled. In the end, he would complete the cube in about two minutes flat and be ready for the lesson. . He would also flap if he was supposed to be writing - until I fought tooth and nail and learning support provided a laptop for him. The flapping subsided and he became a much quieter and calmer kid in the classroom! (And he was able to do his own work instead of me scribing!) I'm guessing the typing provided feedback he wasn't getting in the classroom environment, but that's a complete guess.

[frizzcat]

Thanks ladies - ill try a fidget toy/string and ride the crest of this particular wave - It never ends does it? I'm just so bloody worn out by it all