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ADD/ASD 'forgetting' how to do things....(14 Posts)
Wonder if anyone has seen this with their DC.
During activities, schoolwork and every day routines, DS will occasionally state he doesn't know what he is supposed to do, how to do things etc. that he has been succesfully doing for a long long time.
Examples, would be putting clothes on the right way round, shoes on the right feet, counting sequentially- school have been re-learniing the 2 times tables and in the past he has been able to recite these up to 20 without any problems (backwards too) but yesterday seemed to have forgotten anything after 10.
I know that his first response when asked to do something he isn't much interested in is 'I dont know how' so it may be an avoidance mechanism in some cases, but a lot of the time he does seem geniunely stumped. It is worse if he is tired.
When he is reminded that actually he can do these things, he's done them many times before, he does know what/how, he just gets on with it. Confidence issue, or is there a processing 'block' and the information just isn't available at the time?
I know that my son definitely does forget how to do certain things sometimes, it causes him a lot of distress as they are things that he should be able to do by now ie tie his shoelaces.
He has been taigh and learnt how to and been able to do it, but he still forgets!
Ds1 takes a lot longer to retain some kinds of learning than his younger brother. He's v academic, but has to be constantly reminded and shown how to turn clothes around, do zips, answer when spoken to etc. Then he cries because he feels stupid.
I think it comes with spectrum conditions, tbh
DS2 consistently forgets skills. What seems to happen is that he acquires a new skill and does it a lot. If it's a word, it becomes more indistinct the more he says it. If it's a physical skill, he'll just stop doing it one day - which usually coincides with learning something else new.
What we do find though is that the learnt and forgotten skill gets picked up again further down the line and he gets better at it than he was the first time.
Thanks....I have been finding this terribly frustrating.
Yes some things take a lot longer for him to learn than his peers , and the daily routine is regularly forgotten usually because something more fun might be happening and who needs to clean their teeth anyway? But once he has 'learnt' and used the information/ skills for some time, I have been just bemused that they suddenly disappear.
I had not considered that he is learning a lot of new things and as a consequence other previously learnt things go off his radar. I'll bear that in mind.
I dont want him 'thinking' he cannot do things (especially when he can), as this will have and impact on his self esteem and I want to avoid that.
Not sure how I make sure he keeps a positive 'I can' attitude, especially for new things that he finds difficult.....he did start to have a negative attitude at school to his own behaviour before he got appropraite support as he was 'getting it wrong' all the time and being told off. He would say, I struggle with sitting still, I am not kind to my friends, I cant consentrate, I cant sit still..beccause that is what he was being told on a daily basis. He couldn't think if anything he was good at, but had plenty of things he could say he was bad at.
I will just have to keep plugging away and reminding him of all the great things he can do and how well he does when something new comes along....and not get so irritated when something he has been able to do for mobths is suddenly forgotten...its in there...just other stuff is closer to the surface perhaps...deep breaths........
DS takes longer to learn physical skills - riding a bike, trampolining, scootering etc - and this upsets him - he takes months of practice to learn things NT DC pick up their first or second time. He does have dyslexia and dyspraxia which makes it harder for him. He may learn to ride his bike but then has no other reason to ride it and so 'forgets'. He acquires skills but doesn't keep practising them to improve.
Other things he has never learned - or rather he has learned them multiple times - and we have the certificates to prove it - but has since completely forgotton them. This includes mathematical symbols - still can't to 'that line and two dots thing' (division) but is most obvious in times tables. It is like groundhog day . But he is also dyscalculic and has an ASD and so this is unfornately par for the course. I think it is important that he understands the difference between arithmetic (that he will never be able to do but can use a calculator) and mathematics - for example he is extremely good at the more advanced stuff like symmetry and can see patterns that others can't.
DS is similar with maths KeepOn.....seems able to do more advanced things when what seems more simple to me is next to impossible. Just how it is I suppose. Still early days (he's 5) finding out what his strengths and weaknesses are so we can drive in the right direction.
I can understand if there is something he just never understands and we just leave it as something he wil lnot be able to do for now, but things he has successfully learnt dropping off the edge of existance for him is a new thing for me to get to grips with......but now I know its not unusual, its easier to accept and just start again.
I forgot to say that my DS also has ADD and an Auditory Processing Disorder.
Oh my goodness I am joining in here !! I have not got too much time to write alot at the moment...but I am with you all !!!
One quick example ....ds is behind I know,but he gets work at a lower level than his year group as well as his year group(that I basicly do with him)..but I want him to have some work he can do ..or feel he can do by himself for his self esteem.
He was doing work last week on his own on multiplication ...last question was the 10 x table ..ie what is the rule ...he ADDED them all ..10x2=12 10x 5=15 ....he forgot what was x or +...when I spoke to T/A about it she said ..."He knows just to add a 0 for 10 or 00 for 100...." so he has got add in his head ...last word said ??
Anyone think this sounds familiar ?
How old/what year are your dc's ?
Yr1, 5yrs old...yes, I think some of the problems may be the different ways in which the information is delivered and questions asked....he possibly thinks I am asking something he does not know about because I used different language than last time/than school use (how am I supposed to know 'how' they ask the questions - do they say 'multiplied by', 'times', 'and' ??), or he is interpreting what I am asking very literally.
For example, when doing 2x tables and he gets to 8 with no problem, if i ask 'and what comes next?'..he will say 9, as 9 does come after 8...but that is not what I meant as we were counting up in 2s.
The same sort of thing happens with days of the week...if i ask what day comes after Sunday...he could (and does)respond with any random day of the week because they all come after Sunday, and you might think he has no idea what order the days of the week are...but if I ask what is the next day after Sunday he will say Monday.
So, stuff genuinely gets forgotten/cannot be retrieved from memory, plus he possbly thinks he doesn't know what I am asking because its been asked/delivered using different language.
Makes ssnse now, but it didn't when I started the thread!!
Its a lot ot bear in mind when communicating with DS.
Tickletumble......I so get what you are saying !!!
RE 2 x table ...ds would do 2..4..6..8..10...20...30...40...!
Getting better now ..but he is 8 yr 4 !
At home I am trying to only give him 1 instuction at a time (repeated x 3) and he has to repeat it to me .Jurry is still out on this method because going upstairs to brush his teeth can be forgotten...or he sees something else to do while up there.
oooh, DS gets a gotcha (reward) if he accurately remembers and carries out multiple tasks (like go up stairs and clean your teeth) without getting distracted/doing half the task/doing something else entirely........its a big event when that happens!
Having said that , i seem to be getting up to do something and completely forgetting what it was by the time i get to the door..and go and sit back down again in the hope it will come back to me some time soon!!
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