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ds keeps running off :(

(13 Posts)
drypond Sat 06-Oct-12 08:42:11

any advice welcome, can't seem to take ds anywhere atm without him running off especially in a tantrum... hes almost 4 but hes getting too big for me to lift, he can undo his little life back pack, hes out growing the pushchair hes breaking my heart every school morning. we catch a bus and until he is on that bus he is a nightmare but gets on that bus and he is good, good at school ect.

when he runs off he doesn't generally run over roads but can't be trusted not to if he's angry enough. he runs quite far without turning round if given the opportunity and doesn't care if he can't see me he would keep going and going. if i run towards him it makes him worse, i've resorted to the pushchair for now or reins (he detests reins and gets very distressed)

he may have asd just waiting but tbh im unsure because it seems to me now his only problems are mainly with routine and tantrums... his speech problems have been quite complex but hes getting there just a few pronunciation problems and a stammer (will sometimes repeat first few words of a sentence over and over and flap a hand has he does it)

coff33pot Sat 06-Oct-12 13:30:01

Keep going with the reins even if he doesnt like it for his own safety.

Over weekend drop the reins and within 30 seconds of him standing next to you comment a big WOW thank you for holding mummies hand and give him a token like a choc button. Do that every so often along route. If he runs off hold the reins instead in silence. Have another go on way home etc with the enormous praise bit.

Another one is give them a target to aim for that you are trying to get to with a reward at the end such as a comic. Still use the praise with the buttons (even grapes or raisins as my dd loved) but if at any time he runs and you got to use reins he loses the comic and try again next day. smile

Just do short little walks around the block so he gets the idea.

ouryve Sat 06-Oct-12 13:38:52

Definitely keep going with the reins. Even if you just keep your arm looped through the strap and hold his hand.

ouryve Sat 06-Oct-12 13:41:10

Oh - and if you think he really still needs the pushchair, you can get really big ones - the maclaren major. We've only stopped using DS2's this year, since he's learnt to cope with crowds and waiting without dropping to the ground.

drypond Sat 06-Oct-12 13:55:18

thanks, i'll give the reward and praise a go he loves raisins but can be abit funny over rewards, sort of convinces himself he doesn't want it instant rewards work best for ds though so will definitely try the raisins, he was out of the pushchair at 2 so really feel its a step back but it's looking more likely i'll need it more and more even on reins hes very hard work, spinning, screaming, hitting ect

coff33pot Sat 06-Oct-12 16:54:14

Probably sounds random but have you tried walking with him with headphones on? Either ear defenders to cut down noise or playing his favourite story or songs. Would only need small MP3 player.

Just guessing as this could be sensory based nd perhaps there is too much going on for him so he can focus and stay calm. Just hearing the music only would help him to just home in on that and he may well forget about running off x

Walter4 Sat 06-Oct-12 17:58:37

My son is 4 and will still run and keep going, I feel it's a sensory overload thing , like he's trying to run away from the overload. He really never walks, is a bit better on a scooter, gives him something to focus on ( I hate them though) also if he's eating something that helps. Otherwise I often still carry him( he's tall, but I'm used to it) we don't walk much, he hates it, never in town or busy places,drives him insane. I tried reins too when he was smaller, like your son he would go crazy. Head phones might work, I might try that one too. However I don't think it would work once the novelty wore off. My son doesn't respond to rewards either.
Not much help from me really, but I sympathise, I'd love to stroll along with my son but it's not possible at the moment.

DorisIsWaiting Sat 06-Oct-12 18:28:18

Dsis has reins for dnephew (8). The are for older children and much more difficult to undo. Dnephew doesn't particularly like them but he does walk much better with them on and it most importantly keeps him safe (no awareness of roads etc)

ouryve Sat 06-Oct-12 18:34:36

Which ones does your nephew wear, Doris? DS2 needs some new ones before winter coat season kicks in, since his don't stretch over him and his big coat any more.

baboos Sat 06-Oct-12 19:30:51

Try this company... we have one for ds

www.crelling.com/WALKING%20REINS.html

drypond Sat 06-Oct-12 23:28:30

thanks, well monday we will try raisins smile give it a week, then possibly look at ear defenders if he'll wear them, he will only wear hats that cover his ears so he might!

ommmward Sun 07-Oct-12 17:03:42

and giving him something quite heavy to carry might help (like, your backpack) - not because it's hard to run with a heavy object, per se, but because that will help with any sensory overload stuff which is making him run.

drypond Tue 09-Oct-12 16:36:44

well, had 2 good days so far hes far from perfect.... trying lolli pops just on the trip to school as a reward for getting dressed only thing is hes got worse at school :/ but atleast they ae seeing his behaviour a little.... thanks for the advice our mornings are abit easier now smile

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