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Here are some suggested organisations that offer expert advice on SN.

At the end of my tether with DS

(6 Posts)
JakeBullet Sun 30-Sep-12 18:22:38

He is 9 (will be 10 in December) and has ASD/ADHD and Dyspraxia.

Put simply he is hugely frustrated by things at times and has a horrendous temper when thwarted. He threatens to hit me (but never actually has) and rages when in the throes of a temper. I make an effort to avoid things which frustrate him - at home this is gaming on the Wil etc as he cannot cope with losing (have lost one TV which had the Wii remote through it 2 years ago). I restrict his gaming as although he likes it he can't cope with it at all.
So a few weeks ago I bought an iPad to help him with stuff like school work and also because the specialist teacher was using several iPad apps with him very successfully. My brother helpfully downloaded a few things for DS and all has been well until today when DS "lost it" over a game. I saw him bash the iPad on the floor so took it away from him....he then went mental....ran upstairs and started to slam his door repeatedly....the cat was just utterly freaked and the whole house shook. It left me breathless as I honestly do not know what to do when he gets like this except leave him to it. He raged for about 10 mins hen took off into the garden and went on the trampoline to bounce it out.

I am at a loss tbh....taking stuff away has little effect beyond the initial rage about it....he just could not care less. I have now banned him from using the iPad this week after today....all signs are that he is shrugging his shoulders and going "okay then".

He is now in his room with the Lego everywhere (nowhere else to store it). He won't stay in any other room for any time out stuff. I have to hold the door and it ends up being a screaming battle from him which eventually ends after he kicks the door and swears and eventually calms down.

It is no exaggeration to say I hate him when he is like this (despite loving him beyond all belief). All I can see is a future of things getting steadily worse with him and I am dreading the teenage years. His Dad is supportive but lives nearly 200 miles away.

It's just so hard as DS is also extremely affectionate and loving....he loves a cuddle for example but when he has these rages I am feeling more and more useless and unable to cope....or even to know how best to cope with him.

Just needed to vent really. Am thinking of using some of his DLA to fund some child therapy so he can talk about his feelings a bit more....I am aware that his rages distress him too. ....not that you would know this after today's rage. Have not even had an apology...although to be fair I have not suggested he apologises and I will. He is a typical "say sorry now but do it again" kid.

Am being very negative.....and he has just said "sorry Mum" just as I have typed that he did not.

Going to give him a hug now and dry my eyes.

TirednessKills Sun 30-Sep-12 19:53:29

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

JakeBullet Sun 30-Sep-12 20:20:37

Thank you, yes I think I can get really bogged down in the "I have to do something" mode.

Thank you for the book recommendation too as it always helps to read different views and theories. It's one I've not heard about so will see if Amazon have it for kindle.

DS is now back to his usual lovely and loving self thankfully, the cat appears to have forgiven him too.

HotheadPaisan Sun 30-Sep-12 20:33:44

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

HotheadPaisan Sun 30-Sep-12 21:08:36

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

JakeBullet Mon 01-Oct-12 07:27:45

This is all brilliant, thnqnk you so much for these links.

I should definitely come over to this board more often than I do as I can get a bit tied down in just ploughing on while feeling alone. Of course there are plenty of people out there doing what I am doing and more. It's good to talk to others.

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