What do I say to ds?

[HandHolding]

So first visit with CAMHS planned for next week.
I have had worries with ds, both social and on a language point if view and asked my GP for a referral.
When I went to see him, I went on my own, wo ds.

Now, of course, he has to come with me and I am not sure what to tell him. The thing I really do not want is for him to think there is something wrong with him. Or to highlight he is struggling with something when he isn't really aware about it yet.

So what did you say to your child who went for an evaluation for possible AS?
ds is 7yo and in Y3

[Tiggles]

I told mine they were going for a checkup and the doctor has to check everybody every now and then.

That made lots of sense to them especially as DS2 has fairly bad asthma/hayfever so has lots of checkups.

[troutpout]

How old is your ds? This would make a big difference. My ds was 9 went we first visited CAMHS... So not sure my experience is relevant .
What exactly prompted you to seek referral ?

[HandHolding]

Thank you all. It has helped a lot.

Quite a few possibilities re ds. One of them is AS, another perhaps some sort of language issue (He is bilingual and has had quite a few issues language wise).
What I told the GP and the reason he referred ds was:

• difficulty in relating to others (he has no friends, doesn't know how to react in 'unusual situations' such as meeting a school friend out of school)
  
• takes things literally
  
• very short temper that can last a long long time. Usually associated with issues with miscommunication/misunderstanding and changing 'plans' (eg he is told to do something when he was expecting to be able to do something else)
  
• struggles with body language (will miss clues like pointing to something with a finger or will say 'so and so did this but I don't know why', incl for 'nice' things)
  
• seems overwhelmed/scared in any unknown environment with lost of people/noise
  
• language wise, was not understandable until he was well into year 2 (so about 6 months to a year ago). Sounds/words were unclear. Was referred to SALT by the school but was discharged after first visit as 'he was making progress with the support of the school'.
  
• will now speak in clear sentences but can sometimes still be difficult to understand because he doesn't give context (so he will start to explain something wo saying what it is he is talking about). Both me and the teachers have had problems with that.
  
• However both his spoken and written english are still behind.
  

He has just turned 7yo and I am not sure has realized yet he might (?) be thinking in a different way than others so I don't really want to put that seed in his mind. He is working extremely hard at school which has helped him a hell of a lot (and certainly explained the progress he has made in the last 2 years)
I am sure though he still finds things difficult.
What I really don't want is him feeling guilty or inadequate that he isn't doing enough or not well enough iyswim. He is putting so much effort.

[Ineedalife]

My Dd3 was this age when she was being assessed, I found it difficult to explain to her why she had to go to appointments because as far as she was concerned she was perfect and brilliant at everything.

I used to say she was going for a check up because I was worried that if I tried to explain her difficulties to her and then she didnt get a dx she would have been angry and upset with me for nothing.

She was dx'ed with ASD last year at 9 and I explained to her in the summer about her diagnosis. She has become much more aware of her issues over the last 12 months, we have talked alot to her and she has had some support at school.
She was actually very accepting of her diagnosis when I explained it to her and we have talked alot about what she is really good at as well as what she finds difficult.

Good luck with your appointment

[HandHolding]

as far as she was concerned she was perfect and brilliant at everything

I don't think ds is that sure of himself lol. But yes I am worried about destroying the self assurance he has, which isn't a lot.

I like the idea of the check up. :)

[mariamma]

DS was aware he has more sensitive ears than others, and had trouble 'listening'. So we used those terms as a bridge to explaining ASD (didn't want to get carried away pre-dx!)

[Chundle]

I actually didn't tell dd1 when we first had app what we were going for I just said we had doc app. Then after a few of them she asked why we had to go (she too thinks she's wonderful and brilliant at everything and she actually thinks that its other people that are weird not her!!) I just told her that the doctor is interested in finding out exactly why she can talk for such lengthy periods of time and wants to use it for his research :)