My DS 5 has hypermobility which is extreme in his hands and is making learning to write very difficult. The OT has said that he has to use his own style of pencil grip as tripod grip causes his thumb joint to pop in and out and will need IT support as soon as he can write. He also has a phonological speech disorder and is experiencing difficulty in learning to read (barely any progress in 12 months). On top of this he also experiences social anxiety which manifests as extreme shyness birding on selective mutism at times. He is due to be assessed by CDC to figure out if standalone social anxiety or if it's HFA (I have a teen dd dx with HFA).
He finds separating from me at school very difficult (always has) but this is getting worse and from the minute he wakes up he says he doesn't want to go. He hides under the covers. I get him to school as he is a very placid, over compliant child and will do what I ask him to do but to hear him say it and physically see the change in him when we enter the gates is heart breaking. He barely speaks once inside the school gates. He clings to me when I pass him to the teacher to tak but he doesn't make a sound.
School insist there is no problems and he's fine once I've gone. They told me has no probs with reading but after finally getting an iep (after a year of asking) I can see that he is 12 months behind. I'm aware that his speech disorder can impact on learning to read. They also haven't taken any advice from any professionals, even the OT. As far as im aware he gets no extra support, the IEP is rubbish. The SENCO said that it's normal for a year 1 child to be anxious about parting from Mum and being in school. I told her he's been like this for 3 years but is getting worse, she brushed it off! Is it me being over protective? Am I expecting too much from school?
I do know that something's not right, just like I did my dd, but am I now paranoid as so many people told me she was fine. My dd and my other DS were never like this over school. My DS 5 is highly intelligent as well which must make it even more frustrating that he struggles to communicate verbally and can barely read or write.
Sorry for the essay. I've got a meeting with the SENCO and class teacher this afternoon and I just wondered if, in your lovely ladies experience, think this is a normal level of anxiety and I need to back off from school. Thanks
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Is this a common level of school based anxiety for a 5 year old (year 1)?
sazale · 26/09/2012 12:40
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Hi sazale, I just wanted to say that my Dd3 suffered from awful anxiety at her first school, it was totally unrecognised and she was often dragged from me in the playground screaming. She was often sick at lunchtime which was also due to anxiety.
The school kept saying she was fine when I left her but then would ring me to fetch her as she had been sick
She has HFA/Aspergers so was totally unable to tell me what was upsetting her but I thought I shouldnt move her because of her friends. anyway to cut a long story short we were eventually forced into a situation where we felt we had to move her [lying SENCO/HT] It was the best thing ever. She is so happy now in an inclusive school where people get her and she can be who she is.
Please dont get bogged down with the thought that you cant move him because he has friends, he might be much happier somewhere else and if the friends are really good ones they will stay friends at the weekend or in the holidays.
Good luck
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