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Feeling a little lost when i should be happy

(4 Posts)
countydurhamlass Tue 25-Sep-12 19:52:11

didnt know where to post this ....

my ds who is now nearly 9 years old, since birth, has had various hospital appointment due to a medical condition and he has been had some hospital stays. for many years there wasnt a month that went by without having an appointment with a consultant or specialist. one year we spent a total of 40 days at hospita over the year. On top of this we have had many appointments with professionals for learning delays. due to the amount of time we spent at hospital i reduced my hours at work to four days a week.

However, over the last couple of years the appointments have dwindled down to routine checkups every 8-12 months and this year we have had only about 6 or 7 appointments.

GREAT news, his health has improved and everything appears to be ok, or at least as good as its going to get. i should be jumping for joy BUT somehow i feel a little lost, i have all this extra time and i feel like we should be going to the hospital, not because ds is ill or anything but because that's what we have always done. feels like our second home has been taken away from us.

anyone else felt like this? or am i just being stupid? if you did, how did you adjust?

EllenJaneisnotmyname Tue 25-Sep-12 20:54:48

Not quite the same, but when my DS2 left his special pre-school for a MS primary I really missed the support, the advice with strategies, the other parents, the non-judgey staff, the parent's room, the birthday party invites, etc etc. It was good that he had outgrown the place and was becoming too able for it, but the MS school was so lonely in comparison. So I kind of know what you are getting at. You will get used to it. Maybe find a support group in RL or spend more time here? wink

steelev48 Wed 26-Sep-12 16:32:14

Yes, I felt the same when my son was discharged from his paediatrician when he was 6, soon followed by his SALT and opthamologist. I volunteered at the school regularly to keep busy. I then found that the hospital appointments were replaced by appointments to do with his schooling (IEP meetings, ad hoc meetings with the teachers) and trying to get him the help he needs at school.

moosemama Wed 26-Sep-12 18:44:45

I was feeling a bit like this a couple of weeks ago. As a family we've had endless hospital, doctor, assessment and educational appointments over the past few years, to the point where it really was almost like a full time job for me.

At the start of this year, not only had all the appointments significantly reduced, but my dd also started nursery in the afternoons. I should have felt a huge sigh of relief that I would finally have time to sort out the chaos that our house has descended into over the past few years and for that matter to enjoy a hot cup of coffee in peace. Instead I felt lost.

It didn't help that although everyone was back at school and settled I was/am on crutches, which meant I couldn't actually do all the things I had envisaged I would and so far I have achieved absolutely zilch since the start of term.

However, I would say don't trust the peace, because as of last week everything has ramped up again, with SEN related meetings, secondary transfer open evenings and meetings, an appointment for ds1, two for me (relating to my foot/ankle) and now a two lovely cases of norovirus in the house, kindly donated by ds1.

I often find that just when I am feeling lost and unfulfilled the universe will dump a brand new load of chaos on me that leaves me wondering why I was daft enough not to take advantage of the peace/calm while I had it.

So in answer to your questions:

Yes, lots of people feel like this.
No, you are not just being stupid.
I haven't really adjusted - yet, but I have decided to do some forward planning with regards to all those things I wished I had time for before and can now think about getting on with.

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