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Would you agree that all speech and language difficulties/ delays stem from home???

(34 Posts)
NotInTheMood Thu 20-Sep-12 16:47:09

Because that's what my child's head master said today at a SEN meeting with a group of parents angry. We were discussing about the increase in children with speech and Lang coming through the system. He talked about the importance of early intervention and then said but we know it ll stems from home any way. So obviously I didn't interact with my child enough and sat him in front of the tv all day- I am a bad parent

ladyintheradiator Thu 20-Sep-12 16:50:55

sad I get this too. Well, indirectly. Friend said, 'oh well I was just so lucky with DS because I took him singing at the library all the time'... or I've had 'well I just talked to DD nonstop so it was no surprise that she was such an early talker'.

I mean WTF do these people actually think parents of children with S&L difficulties did for the first few years, shove them in a fucking box?

I'm in a very bad mood following a shit S&L session. Friends are one thing but from a HT - can you complain to the board of governors - I would - shitty thing to say, he's either ignorant or a total cock. Or both.

cankles Thu 20-Sep-12 16:51:30

He's a knob; you are a good mummy x

fanjoforthemammaries7850 Thu 20-Sep-12 16:52:00

i took DD to the singing at the library all the time and she still has only about 3 words at nearly 6 angry what an idiot he sounds.

Pagwatch Thu 20-Sep-12 16:54:51

I would have loved to have been there.

I could ask him how DS1 managed to get into Exeter to do English with a levels in Latin English history and maths. And how dd excels at drama, dance and singing.
Did I just put DS2 in front of the tv all alone?

nothinginthefridge Thu 20-Sep-12 16:59:10

Just read this today regarding SLI. Hope the link works and hope it helps.

It made me feel loads better. It said (and I have seen this for myself) that deaf parents can produce children who speech and language is perfect, therefore children can pick up language very well from limited exposure.

This then dismisses the theory that SLI stems from home
iyswim.http://www.bis.gov.uk/assets/foresight/docs/mental-capital/sr-d1_mcw.pdf

fanjoforthemammaries7850 Thu 20-Sep-12 16:59:23

And DD used to have loads of speech, maybe I just stopped talking to her and put her in front of the TV so she lost it?

fanjoforthemammaries7850 Thu 20-Sep-12 16:59:50

I think it is worth complaining about him to his superiors actually

nothinginthefridge Thu 20-Sep-12 17:00:01

ggrrr can't make the link work.

48Hours Thu 20-Sep-12 17:01:58

omg, what a load of shite!
That really is appalling, ds is severely autistic and did'nt utter a word till he was nine, dd on the other hand spoke at 10 months and is very bright.
I did'nt parent them any differently, so what would be his observation on my children?
I would be as livid as you are now and tbh that just shows what an arse he is.

SauvignonBlanche Thu 20-Sep-12 17:02:31

What a twat! angry

48Hours Thu 20-Sep-12 17:02:49

and yy to taking this further!

PrimrosePath Thu 20-Sep-12 17:08:06

I've had these comments from 'well meaning' friends and complete strangers before, but never from a professional.

I'm sorry that your DC's headmaster is so ignorant.

Strongecoffeeismydrug Thu 20-Sep-12 17:15:25

I must have only spoke to 1 of my children then!she never shuts up and the other 1 that deffinatly got a lot more of my time and attention(didn't work when he was little) does have a lot of speech.
Some people shouldn't be allowed to spout such verbal tish

bochead Thu 20-Sep-12 18:06:38

I hope to goodness you corrected him publicly there and then, and will be writing to his superiors to suggest that he is sent on a remedial training course, before being allowed anywhere near children again.

He's potentially dangerous to have in any sort of decsision making capacity around SN children.

AttilaTheMeerkat Thu 20-Sep-12 18:07:43

NotInTheMood

Think this person was talking out of his arse actually, what a moron.

Were his erroneous assertions not challenged?.

S & L problems have nothing to do with home. In my son's case his speech and language delay was due to his delayed development.

Foxy800 Thu 20-Sep-12 20:08:51

Of course they are not always caused by home, it is very rare that they are. My dd is just being assessed for adhd and has speech and language issues. Chances are and the most likely is it is all connected.

ouryve Thu 20-Sep-12 20:49:57

There's a small cohort of kids not exposed to rich language at home who suffer as a result but catch up with other children in time. He's confusing these children with children like yours and mine who have far more complex reasons for their language delays.

And/or he's an asshole, which may or may not be his parents' fault angry

StarlightMcKenzie Thu 20-Sep-12 20:57:56

Hi all, back for web chat so just wanted to add here that my dd has been sat in front of cbeebies for stupid amounts of time whilst I have largely ignored her due to my thoughts being given over to getting things sorted for Ds.

She can tell me all about how wool is made, where moles live and feed, what kinds of owls live in England, that rainbows look like circles if you get high enough etc. etc.. She's just started nursery.

My conclusion is that ignoring kids and plugging them into the TV is actually the best way to parent.

Oh, she also saw a person in a wheelchair yesterday in a cafe and started nattering far too loudly about how he might navigate stairs and get himself around and into bed. She concluded that what he actually needed was a tardis.

beautifulgirls Thu 20-Sep-12 20:58:24

I'd love him to come and explain why DD#1 has marked speech and language issues and yet her younger sister raised in the same household was well ahead verbally and talking short sentences at only a year old. Couldn't get two more contrasting developments really. DD#3 nicely normal milestones!

spidermanspiderman Thu 20-Sep-12 21:01:22

Wtf my ds speaks with a slur so that's my fault! I did every class going when he was a baby / toddler. He just struggles with the planning of his mouth movement probably due to his dyspraxia and hypermobility! Grrr people like this make me mad. Complain!

StarlightMcKenzie Thu 20-Sep-12 21:05:26

I went to 8 toddler groups a week. DS still has Autism.

Maybe it was CAUSED by exposure to too many caring carrots!?

LargeLatte Thu 20-Sep-12 21:24:37

People always want to believe its down to the parents, for absolutely everything. This is because a) It means they can live safe in the knowledge that these problems will never affect them because they are perfect parents, and b) they must be perfect parents because these problems have never affected them.

UnChartered Thu 20-Sep-12 21:27:06

DDs 4 yr gap in expressive and non-literal language (as assessed by SALT) was due to her having adult brothers - said the shit SENCO from the school we took her out of

mariamma Thu 20-Sep-12 21:33:38

grin at a tardis, star. Think your dd may end up as a specialist designer with a large team of engineers busy modifying science fiction-inspired devices...

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