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Anyone else starting to feel the back to school jitters?

(35 Posts)
Vagaceratops Sat 25-Aug-12 08:40:07

We go back next tuesday and I am already dreading it. When I think about it I get a knot in my stomach and I feel a bit nauseous.

Every time we mention the word school, DS (ASD) starts screaming that he wants to go home. He has a new teacher, new classroom and the move from reception to Y1 is going to be extra tough I think.

thriftychic Sat 25-Aug-12 08:48:56

yes me too and ds2 is 13 now sad

AttilaTheMeerkat Sat 25-Aug-12 08:53:22

Once the first day back is over and done with it seems to become slightly easier for DS but this is also because his additional needs are being fully met there (via a combination of both an understanding school and a statement).

I myself am approaching Y9 with an equal mixture of anticipation and reluctance.

Vagaceratops - does your DS not have a statement?. Have you thought about applying for such?. What have school commmented?.

Sorry for all the questions btw.

boredandrestless Sat 25-Aug-12 09:05:23

Yes. My DS finds school hard and prefers being at home in an environment controlled by him. sad It makes me feel enormously guilty sending him when I know he finds it hard and struggles with it.

Mine is going up a key stage which will mean more curriculum work. I don't envy his TA.

Vaga - my DS found Y1 easier than reception as the day has some structure to it, whereas the foundation stage doesn't. He had a picture timetable and soon got into the daily routine. Does he have a statement?

Vagaceratops Sat 25-Aug-12 09:07:50

He has full time 1:1, and school have been really good. His TA is moving up with him, and he was going to move up with his teacher too, but she left as she had some family problems, so he has a new teacher who he has only met briefly before because she is just coming back from ML.

He settles once he is there, but getting him there is a real problem. He screams and cries so much and my heart breaks.

I worry that the gap between him and the other children is going to be so much wider in this year.

Vagaceratops Sat 25-Aug-12 09:10:12

No statement. I know, I know. But at the moment things are going okay with school, its just DS.

DS likes the freedom to be around. He hates sitting for more than about 2 seconds and loves playing with the trains and the computer. He cant read or write so learning tasks will be harder. His teacher last year as so fantastic with him and he thrived so much, but I worry the break has set him back.

boredandrestless Sat 25-Aug-12 09:14:43

My DS used to cry and cry every morning, when he stopped the school were really pleased and thought he had made great progress, I personally think he has just become resigned to it. sad

It's good that he has a full time 1:1 but having a statement would help long term as they would have to fully assess him, and then he will have termly IEPs focusing on what he needs. School should be supportive in helping with the process - they are paying for a full time 1:1 at the moment and if he is statemented they may get some funds for this.

Mine loves trains and computers too. Mine couldn't read or write at your DS's stage but is coming on now. His reading has been his main improvement, and his writing is coming along slowly but surely.

Vagaceratops Sat 25-Aug-12 09:20:38

He gets funds from the LA (we are in Nottinghamshire and he was awarded HLN). He also has termly IEP's and reviews so we can monitor his progress.

He is my baby and I just hate seeing him so upset, feeling like I am the one that caused it.

AttilaTheMeerkat Sat 25-Aug-12 09:35:54


I would apply for a statement asap and ignore any naysayers. How secure is this current funding he receives?.

Perhaps a personal passport can be prepared for him outlining his new classroom and teacher. Is there any way he could visit his classroom before they go back into school?.

sazale Sat 25-Aug-12 12:06:09

I'm feeling them big time! My DS 5 (hypermobility, phonological disorder and under assessment for asd as has social anxiety) transitioned to year 1 3 weeks before the summer and it was awful. He didn't speak for full days at school and sometimes at home, he hid under the table on some days as well. He barely speaks in school anyway but they always insist he's fine. The minute we walk through the gates his whole body language changes and he becomes virtually mute. He doesn't even cry when I leave him but desperately clings to me. It breaks my heart. He also cannot read or write yet and I still haven't had an iep from school despite asking and him being on early action plus for 18 months. I only found out he was on early action plus a year later when I told them that he should be on it due to the amount of professionals involved with him. As far as I know he gets no extra support in school. He is so placid so he doesn't cause them any problems. I'm totally dreading it as its back to me trying to get them to support him.

Managed to get my dd 13 dx ASD with many comorbids stateme t finalised over the summer and she will start transition into special school in September. So now time to sort my little man out and I am starting to get the evidence I need together to apply for a statement for him. I'm hoping the fact that my dd got one so easily (despite being academically in front) because of her many difficulties will help when I apply for DS. She's costing them a lot of money and had her difficulties been identified earlier (she went to the same primary) then it may have not been the case and I'll be damned if history is going to repeat itself!!

summerholshell Sat 25-Aug-12 12:27:48

OP, we're at the exact same stage with DD. She's moving up from reception to year 1 and im so nervous. School so far have insisted that everything is fine with her and she's thriving and will cope when she moves up. Well, that was the case until about 3 weeks before she broke up and all of a sudden i've got numerous teachers(she's got loads)telling me that they're concerned as to how she'll cope in september and that we all need to work together to make sure she settles which they NOW don't think will happen for a long timeangryangry The amount of times and the amount of meetings I brought this up and I was always met with the same answer "she's doing absolutely fine!" So i'm now really anxious about september because I feel like we're completely unprepared!

summerholshell Sat 25-Aug-12 12:30:12

Sazale, has your DS been assessed for Selective Mutism?

sazale Sat 25-Aug-12 13:08:55

He's not been assessed for anything yet but is on the waiting list for an ASD assessment as after observation at CDC (he was referred due to suspected hypermobility and because he already has a speech disorder) they said he def has social anxiety. I think he may have selective mutism. I always thought that with selective mutism they didn't speak at all but I've recently found out that's not the case. He barely speaks to me once I side the school gates and then it's a whisper. He's fine with his peers though as far as I can tell. He has a good group of friends although it took him 6 months before he started interacting with them.

Specialist teaching services went to observe him and reported back that she had a lovely conversation with him! I have friends who work in school and tell me that he barely speaks. She will have had to ask him questions he wouldn't have held a conversation with her without prompting. His new teacher says she's been told he's introvert which I find amazing since school say he's fine!

He doesn't even speak to his aunties if not in their home or ours! I'm really dreading it because he won't even discuss school.

I hope the return to school isn't too stressful for you all x

Strongecoffeeismydrug Sat 25-Aug-12 13:45:13

Omg my tummy feels like a washing machine at the thought of school but DS is oblivious to the changes he's going to face.
He's starting an ASD specific school half way through September and we start the transition in a couple of weeks.
I feel so bad for him having to go through a change of school as he only managed a year at his previous unit,but hopefully this school can meet his needs and he will settle

shoppingbagsundereyes Sat 25-Aug-12 14:50:40

Definitely. We have had such a lovely summer, ds is so chilled out he's been sleeping 12 hours which he has never done in his life. Within a week at school we will be back to 5am starts I'm sure.

Walter4 Sat 25-Aug-12 15:51:23

Oh my god, I am dreading it, counting the days down.every time I mention school to him he changes the subject. I have a nightmare getting him to go to nursery and one it's reception( mornings only) I fear he will not go at all.

He has a diagnosis of PDA . Before the diagnosis teachers said he was "fine" Now all of a sudden, they can all see it!!! Makes me so mad! How dare they!

Sazale you post made me feel so sad, you're poor little boy. I feel by saying nothing all day he is withdrawing to such a degree, it must be hard for him. I agree with you ,if they cause no problem,teacher see none!

Some days we make it in to school on time, mostly we don't and occasionally I can't get him to go at all. I have a feeling of dread that this time will be worse.
He has no statement he is in a very small caring school, they are trying now , but I'm just not sure they really get PDA , it needs a different approach to other asd conditions and I'm not sure he really connects with staff there very well.
We shall see.

I feel sick writing this. Best of luck everyone.
Walters mum

Vagaceratops Sat 25-Aug-12 18:31:28

(hugs) t everyone with the same sense of doom. Lets hope we are just pessimists and it will all be okay.

crappypatty Sat 25-Aug-12 22:35:24

I am dreading it, ds is going into Y4, he got dx a week before school broke up. The HT told me that they are interviewing for a 121 for him so hopefully things will be slightly easier.

I agree with borednadrestless, I think ds has become resigned to having to go to school. From nursery to the beginning of Y2 I carried him kicking and screaming. He has moments still but mainly when he first gets up in the morning. By the time I am taking him to school he is mostly calm, apart from a few times, when he has tried to make a dash for freedom as the bell goes.

I will give it four weeks before all his tics are back sad

summerholshell Sun 26-Aug-12 17:11:43

Oh this is all very sad isn't it.

We've also had a lovely summer and actually just come back in the last few days from our first proper holiday in 3 years and it was absolutely perfect. DD had a brilliant time and she was actually pushed herself with things like talking to waiters/waitresses and slept really well and in an unfamilliar house!!!shockwhich we were really shocked about!

I think she's starting to understand now that the school hols are coming to an end soon and I can already see her going back a little. Mainly with things such as her speech(very random and repetative), social skills and attention. She's also becoming very rude, snappy and irratable, which she tends to do when she's anxious.

There's a part of me that wants to pick her up and run away back to our holiday home and never come back.........not sure the owners would be best pleased thoughhmmgrin

boredandrestless Mon 27-Aug-12 10:10:16

This thread is really sad. sad

My DS has been so happy during the 6 weeks. We too have had an amazing holiday that he managed really well.

Does everyone one here have a child in MS school? When DS is like this it makes me question my decision to keep him in MS. Would he be under less pressure in a special school?? He's going into Y3 and from what I can gather will be expected to do as much sit down curriculum work as the rest of the class. I'm just not sure this is realistic for him.

He doesn't have severe learning difficulties though, he's about average in his class academically but that is with full time support.

One morning when he was in F2 I did run home with mine. The crying was too much for me that morning and I just picked him up and ran home with him. Turned my phone off and held him and cried. blush Not much of a long term plan though!

ArthurPewty Mon 27-Aug-12 11:21:45

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Fightingagain Mon 27-Aug-12 11:44:33

Well we've not had a bad summer really but last term ended with complaints to LA and school which have still not been resolved. We have now rec'd a dx though and full time support so will see what happens. Like Walter though, it remains to be seen whether staff will really understand his difficulties and handle him correctly. Can't be much worse than last year though hmm - school report showed that some teachers had absolutely no idea of his issues with comments such as ' behaviour is a big barrier and he is easily distracted - he really needs to tackle this' and 'if he concentrates he could do very well' FFS. They also did some illegal stuff which they have been pulled up on so expect they will be rather wary of what they do in future.

Handywoman Mon 27-Aug-12 12:25:48

I am with you all with the washingmachine tummy. My dd (dyslexic, going into Y5, ongoing problems with school and a terrible Y5 teacher who doesn't actually 'believe' in SEN!) is already in a tizzy about getting her summer homework done (homework which we have skillfully avoided all summer).

And..... breathe!

HW x

mariammariam Mon 27-Aug-12 18:15:43

yep, ds jitters started day before yesterday.
Mine started today. DD ok for the moment. 8 days and counting...

mariammariam Mon 27-Aug-12 18:17:44

At least this means I'm now thinking, feck it, if the whole school malarkey gets too much I'll jack it in, home educate the dc, and two fingers to the lot of them

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