How was your Aspergers daughter as a baby/toddler?

(28 Posts)
usernametaken Fri 25-May-12 21:16:18

DD has had a very recent diagnosis of Aspergers. I've had a lot of questions, but my main one being about the behaviours at an early age? It seems Aspergers is harder to diagnose in girls until a later age, but were there any signs at a younger age? Have their Asperger traits gotten worse over time and then plateau'd?

OP’s posts: |
UnCharteredromaeosaur Fri 25-May-12 21:19:16

my DD has more behaviours now she's getting older, but the traits she presented as a toddler still remain. she is distant, intense, will sit on your knee but hates cuddles and spontaneous touch.

Ineedalife Fri 25-May-12 21:28:45

Dd3 has a dx of ASD but could easily have been dxed Aspergers. The psych who assessed her said she wasnt obssessive enough for an aspergers dx. Lol. She should try living with her.

As a toddler she was extremely verbal, very strongwilled, easily stressed, sensitve, a fussy eater, a runner, had no awareness of danger, had seperation anxiety. I could go on but i think you get the idea.

She was a really very quiet and not demanding but wouldnt take food from anyone except me.

She hasnt really plataeuxed as such but she can sometimes cope with.change better now she is aware of danger now sometimes too much. Her anxiety levels are really high sometimes but we have to guess what is bothering her.

All children are different though and all children on the spectrum present in different ways.

Hope some of that helpssmile

Ineedalife Fri 25-May-12 21:29:54

Oh sorry forgot to say she is 9.

SilkStalkings Sat 26-May-12 13:18:25

DS1 used to talk in quotes from cartoons (Little Einsteins was his favourite so he sounded v precocious shouting 'Accelerando! Fortissimo!'grin)
Treated people like furniture - you were in the way or not in the way. One day at toddler group after crawling around/over a whole circle of 25 mums, he spotted me by chance and came to sit in front of me and I nearly burst into tears of joy as it was so rare to be acknowledged. Looking back that's pretty odd! Most of the time at toddler groups I played with other people's kids as he just did his own thing.
He was/is constantly busy, he has always worked hard at his playing, never bored.
Liked being strapped in, had a bit of a thing for seatbelts and harnesses, but would start going nuts if the pushchair ever stopped as he was a runner. Had to go explore his surroundings before he would settle down in one place, used to do circuits at playgrounds. Totally fearless, very strong and would never think to ask for anything, v independent.
Didn't really have moods as a baby/toddler, just laughing (not often), crying or blank.

SilkStalkings Sat 26-May-12 13:24:27

Forgot to say I think a friend's little girl is probably Aspergers - at 3 she would start chatting to ANYone about ANYthing as if she knew them. She's always been very physically affectionate too, snuggling up to strangers on buses etc. I know she's prone to meltdowns, takes offence easily at school and when I've had her she is very charming but doesn't half push and test boundaries!

OP, have you spotted it elsewhere in your family yet? You probably willgrin.

insanityscratching Sat 26-May-12 14:21:43

Dd has a dx of moderate to severe autism but probably passes as HFA.As a toddler she was very passive if you sat her in a spot she'd not move, she never opened cupboards or emptied boxes. She never had a tantrum, she never cried, she rarely smiled and she never asked for anything.
She is 9 now she is still incredibly easy, never badly behaved, she's not at all obsessive, she likes routine and order but presents like a swan outwardly totally calm whilst paddling furiously below water to cope. She talks a lot, sings and dances when she isn't talking.She is lovely and nothing like her brother who has autism although he is lovely too.

mumslife Sun 27-May-12 21:43:39

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

lisad123 Sun 27-May-12 22:46:11

I have two DDs with autism dx on high functioning side.
Dd1 was a very hard baby, screamed for hours but was a great toddler, would play alone, always followed the rules but wouldn't and still doesn't like new people or places. I couldn't leave her with anyone.
Dd2 was a dream baby and rarely cried. As a toddler (she's only four now) she was and still is hard work. She throws things, growls at people and shouts at anyone. She doesn't follow any rules, likes to wind up her sister and is always on the go, she doesn't sleep well and loves being with others now but only if following her rules. As a two year old she would be in the corner pinning up toys while kids ran around her and if they came close she would kick them blush

I run a support group for girls with autism if your in or around Herts.

BiddyPop Mon 28-May-12 10:43:36

DD spoke in sentences very early, and has always used quite "adult" words for things (which we generally thoguht was due to her being the first and still an only, and in the company of lots of adults, as well as us refusing to do "babytalk" - although she went to creche with lots of kids too from 3 months old).

Could be fussy about food, and clothes. Still lives in tracksuits if given a preference, and it's ridiculously hard to get her into a dress or skirt for formal occasions.

Routine was and is HUGE. If we say we'll do something, we have to do it. And she takes things very literally as well.

She dropped her daytime naps very early - she was awake all day in creche when still in the toddler room (moved to montessori aged 2yr9mths), and while she then took a 15 min snooze while she got used to that, she was back to not sleeping within a couple of months again (when lots of the 4 year olds were still having an hour sleep after dinner).

She also seemed very advanced academically. She flew at things even before moving into montis (the toddler minder was monti trained so used to get a few of them doing things before moving) - especially maths-y stuff.

But close friendships were not really there. She was friends with everyone there (small class of 8), but not really bothered not seeing them once she left (school close to home, creche was close to work). She has one close friend - they kill each other as much as love each other (mainly verbally, but the buddy can lash out, at least DD has learned not to do that anymore, or much more rarely).

She can get very aggressive - usually with DH and I rather than strangers or people she would see less often. So only with those she is very comfortable and secure with. And we've recently realised that what we took as being shy with strangers (which could include family members too), was more anxiousness and being scared. But once she was in company with someone non-threatening for a while (like grandparents), she would relax and start to chat away with them. She's not the most touchy-feely person either, and tends to run away from hugs and kisses (which most family cannot accept).

But she's also very funny, very logical, very loving in her own way. Wants to help and get involved. Will do a lot once she is shown how. Just make sure that you leave "her" jobs for her to do (she has whipped eggs for baking since she was under a year - and I am not now allowed to do them unless I am baking in the late hours and she's in bed, when I might still have a whinge the next morning).

She's now 6yrs5mths, and we got the high functioning ADHD/Aspergers Dx a couple of months ago.

Sorry, that wasn't meant to be an essay. I just tend to keep going once I start.

ArthurPewty Mon 28-May-12 10:45:07

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ArthurPewty Mon 28-May-12 10:46:57

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Chundle Mon 28-May-12 11:51:58

My dd2 is 2.9 we are awaiting dx for hfa. She was a horrific baby. At one point I walked out the house she screamed relentlessly even more so if we picked her up. Still doesn't sleep thrpugh the night even with melatonin. Rolled late, walked late and talked late. Although once she had several words overnight she started talking in sentences it was amazing. Now her talking amazes as she says things that adults do its quite bizarre. She loves routines hates certain clothing in fact getting her dressed is a nightmare! Getting her to eat is a nightmare. She's a runner. Very sensory driven. Obsessed over things

grammar Mon 28-May-12 11:59:33

DD1 is just 15 and been diagnosed with Asperger's. She is high functioning. As a baby she cried a lot +++. She was as stiff as a board and could not curl into you. She always disliked human contact. She was aloof, (I remember feeling intimidated by her when she was 2 !). Hugely advanced academic skills (she could spell out her name, not the most phonetic name either with magnetic letters aged 20 months)
She was se,ectively mute until she was 6, said nothing all through montessori nursery, only spoke to us.). She actively eschewed all human contact with her peer group. She has rather alienated herslf from her 2 younger sibs who find her behaviour harsh and unforgiving.

She became very anxious at 8 and hyperventilated frequently. We got her assessed by CAMHS at that point hoping to forestall any problems in the teenage years. They said she prob has ASD but it was up to us for pursue a formal diagnosis. We didn't, I wish we had.

She became profoundly depressed last Christmas, read the dog in the night time book and diagosed herself. She is having 5 sessions of counselling at school via CAMHS.

She is blunt, bleak, flat, physically gauche, hardly ever smiles, rarely communicates without push coming to shove and is the most darling girl in the world.

My heart is breaking and I'm dealing with it very poorly. One minute really understanding, the next getting so cross with her for being 'obtuse' which I know is all part of the syndrome.

I don't know how to support her, she's losing her friends slowly, hates herself, wants to be a different person and is depressed ( counsellor agrees)

If there is a support group in West Dorset, I'd love to hear about it.

Oh, and by the way, the paed who assessed her (lovely man) recommended her to read 'Aspergirls'. Don't. It is a very dispiriting book with very little hope for the future in terms of frienships and relationships. It was the last thing she needed to read, but we can't do anything about that now.

usernametaken Mon 28-May-12 13:15:10

Thank you for the replies!
BiddyPop- I could almost have written the same post as you!

DD never liked people, she wouldn't name anyone (though she could point to the right person if you said 'where's Granny'), she never drew people (only cats), never spoke in public. At 5 she was dx with Selective Mutism and high anxiety. She has no social clue, for her, there is no embarrassement at having a lying down, screaming fit in a shopping center. She has no manners despite telling her for the last 7 years...her two year brother is a pro as he hears us say it to her so often! She's never said sorry or please without a prompt. Taking responsibility for herself is low on her list. She is desperate for friends and has a few, but finds it very difficult to make a first move or interact with their games. Eating is a daily chore, she could live on air given the choice.
However, her pretend play was excellent, her speech was early and complex, she was reading Rainbow Fairy books at 2yrs old, was always highly obsessive about a topic. She sat at 15wks, walked at 8m (genetic as DS walked at 6ms), rode her bike at 3 etc. She has a constant need to move still.

OP’s posts: |
Pumpster Mon 28-May-12 22:45:23

Dd is now being assessed for asd at 15. As a baby she cried a lot and was always hard to settle. She had friends (on her terms) until she hit 9, but only recently have her social problems and extreme anxiety been linked to asd. She is so mature yet so child like.

sazale Mon 28-May-12 23:22:10

My dd is 13 and was diagnosed earlier this year. As a baby she was a delight! She had difficulty breast feeding and had severe reflux. She had a weak cry and I used to worry I wouldn't hear her. I'm guessing it was down to low muscle tone, looking back as recently diagnosed with that as well. She slept practically around the clock for the first 6 months. I had to wake her to prompt feeding but always fed well. Barely cried even though had severe reflux and always woke with a big smile on her face! Everyone used to comment how lucky I was and even strangers cooed over her (has very curly blonde hair). She hit all her milestones early (apart from never crawled) and was walking at 10 months (on tip toes) and talking by the age of one. She would happily stay with anyone and always enjoyed cuddles (still does but craves touch) At 18 months her mood completely changed. She had temper tantrum after temper tantrum and became so defiant. I thought it was terrible 2's (first child) and it never ended! She is highly demand avoidant and still has several meltdowns a day. It is still like looking after that little toddler, bless her.

Nolansmommy Fri 11-Nov-16 20:21:43

Silkstalkings...Your son sounds JUST LIKE MINE. My son is 9 months old, and you literally just described him to a T. I've always wondered if something was a bit off with him. He has Aspergers?

PolterGoose Fri 11-Nov-16 21:50:05

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PolterGoose Fri 11-Nov-16 21:50:58

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Nolansmommy Mon 20-Feb-17 16:03:28

PolterGoose no it's not a typo...he's 12 months now and is exhibiting even more signs just like these

PolterGoose Mon 20-Feb-17 16:09:56

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fegus Tue 21-Feb-17 19:19:00

My daughter is 14 and was only diagnosed with ASD at 11, though to be honest the signs were there. We just didn't pick up on them. She is the eldest of 3. Her nursery teacher pointed out some differences between her and her peers so we spoke to the ,ah, can't remember the name, not midwife, but the nurse who you see at clinic with toddlers. Nothing wrong, according to her.
She seemed to develop accordingly, if very bright with numbers and letters for her age.
Academically, she flew through junior school and so she was pretty much left alone. It was only in year 4, so 8 years old, that a teacher mentioned a possibility of autism. Cue lots of senco involvement, and a very lengthy diagnosis just as she started senior school. And then it really goes to shit. sad
Suffice to say she is now at a school she has never spoken in, has no friends and yet still affirms to me that she wants to go to school. CAMHS, Speech and language, ed psych are all involved. And yet, she is the sweetest, kindest, most talented girl I know. ( and I have another daughter!)

babyinarms Wed 22-Feb-17 23:32:34

Ds now 12 was the easiest baby every. Quiet, never had to child proof house as he didn't explore. Shy, spoke but in hind sight not appropriately . Had to work hard for smiles ...didn't like affection. Spoke continuously from an early age about cars. Didn't do imaginery play. Couldn't watch TV for more than 5 mind at a time. in it.
He's now a lovely boy but a lot of anxiety . He's quiet and shy. Still not affectionate and finds social conversation difficult. He has shut down as opposed to melt downs. Struggles at school but get 's a lot of help. Poor comprehension of what he reads. Still doesn't like films etc....finds them hard to follow, but still loves cars and is into football. Quite sociable but very niAve for his age and easily led.

researchASD Tue 03-Oct-17 15:12:51

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