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Stupid things others say

(129 Posts)
lisad123 Sat 11-Feb-12 23:30:53

Had one of the mums at the school the other day tell me I should let dd2 sit in her SN buggy because it makes her look more disabled! shock

At SN soft play event tonight and a little boy was pinching other kids and telling them to shut up (he has autism). Another parent complained to his mum and told her she should warn other parents that his not normal!!

What horrible stupid things have people said to you?

IDoNotLIKEFun Sun 12-Feb-12 00:11:34

SALT: "Have you tried telling him nursery rhymes, reading him stories and taking him to the library? Or even talking to him using simple words and phrases?"

Gosh, no. How helpful you have been.

PAED: No your four year old (who can not walk a metre out of doors) isn't unusual mobility-wise. My NT child sometimes needed a pushchair too on our Alpine mountain -climbing holiday.


LA: If he goes to a special school he won't have good role-models.

He has them at home and in wider family life and he hasn't copied our positive behaviour or responses yet. Do you not realise that if he cared about what others did or acted or thought he wouldn't bloody well be autistic?

Good thread smile

ShoshanaBlue Sun 12-Feb-12 01:23:25

Your child should be in a home (said to 6 year old child, on various occasions by old lady strangers)...usually followed by 6 year old child then assaulting old lady strangers.

JaneMare Sun 12-Feb-12 08:30:25

school nurse recently when i was crying about the lack of sleep with our HFA (provisional dx) 4yr old DD 'have you got a good routine, children need a good routine'


HolyCalamityJane Sun 12-Feb-12 08:53:42

Your Dc needs to be taught boundaries! Do you not have these at home. (dc has ADHD and dyspraxia) No what are they? We enjoy Dc's violent tantrums and let her behave like that all the time!

Your Dc can pedal the bike she just pretends she can't for attention! It's called dyspraxia !

Your Dc cannot be in school nativity play as she will only embarrass herself angry

All comments made by useless crap P1 teacher DC now at different school!

boredandrestless Sun 12-Feb-12 09:09:25

DS is 7 and still in nappies due to bowel issues (constipation/witholding). I had a nursery manager say to me last week (knowing he was autistic)

"Have you tried potty training him?"

Oh yes I didn't think of doing that! hmm shock angry sad

I've never had a judgemental comment hit me so hard before. Do people really think I haven't tried? That him being in nappies doesn't keep me awake at night? That I don't worry about him being bullied, or that he'll never be out of them? That I haven't tried EVERYTHING!

Do people honestly think I haven't tried?? sad

Becaroooo Sun 12-Feb-12 09:28:57

Y3 NQT after ds1 had been dx as severely dyslexic;
"you may have to accept that the lowest sets are where ds1 belongs"

Lovely. Lets write all dyslexic children off at age 8 shall we?

She is still on my radar, the bitch. I am taking her DOWN......


TheLightPassenger Sun 12-Feb-12 10:02:21

Surestart family worker "they all get there in the end" - um really?

Salt -you can go to the library and borrow books there for free for your DS, you know -

signandsmile Sun 12-Feb-12 10:07:48

HT, (when faced with the possibility of taking my practically non verbal, but signing in sentences ds).

"No we don't need to learn to sign, we are professionals we will know what ds means... somtimes my daughter chooses not to speak, but if she clutches herself I know she needs a wee"

shock shock angry.

Dustinthewind Sun 12-Feb-12 10:09:29

grin People have been saying idiotic and deeply stupid things to me and DS for years and years and years.
I used to wear my stomping boots and flame proof knickers all the time.
Plus my natural arrogance enabled me to judge the level of crap they were serving me to a fine degree. And sneer at their ignorance whilst preparing the flame thrower.
I used my anger as a weapon to cut through the bullshit with professionals, and the angrier I got the colder and sharper my focus.
Use the rage.

willowthecat Sun 12-Feb-12 10:15:43

The LEA Ed Psych told me 'autistic children can't learn anything and if they do they just forget it anyway.' So with that pearl of wisdom embedded in my mind, she went to to discuss schooling for ds

HaveYouTakenLeaveOfYourCervix Sun 12-Feb-12 10:18:02

'Have you tried offering her vegetables?' Dietitian.

'Why are you crying?' School nurse to me after DD had kicked me in the face, made my nose bleed and run away from school screaming and I had no idea where she was.

'She'll grow out of it' 'She'll be better as she gets older' 'It's just a phase' etc etc etc

Amd my most recent - at school last thursday -
teacher to DD 'So you pomise you'll come in every lesson next term then'

DD 'yes, ok'

Do they really think she makes a consious decision to not go? really?

Dustinthewind Sun 12-Feb-12 10:32:45

Luckily DS is now a huge and menacing teenager, so parents tend to not make comments, or criticise or even make eye contact. But that seems to be how the adult world deals with teenagers, so he doesn't feel singled out.
Some teachers are struggling with his literal understanding of things, and the fact that his SOH is still a work in progress. So they say something and he doesn't get the subtext.

Art teacher was mortified at the recent one...
' You need to work on it until it's finished'

That was at 9am.
So he stayed on after the lesson, working in a side room.
And stayed
And stayed...
Good job he's got a strong bladder. Teacher found him at 4pm, couldn't get him to understand that's not what he'd meant and had to call me to come and translate. Teacher was truly sorry he hadn't thought it through.
Deadline for the work is 21st February.
DS ate a double dinner and slept for 12 hours.

peekabooby Sun 12-Feb-12 10:59:36

Upon sharing the news that ds had been dx with HFA, my best friend sid "aww I bet your made up" hmmm yes ecstatic. I kind of knew what she meant it had been a long time coming but still, made up isn't really how I felt.

PipinJo Sun 12-Feb-12 11:06:41

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Ineedalife Sun 12-Feb-12 12:12:39

My mother, says this regularly when we are struggling to get Dd3 to do something she doesnt want to do.


I laugh now but it used to really upset me before we got a dx.

sazale Sun 12-Feb-12 12:50:10

My DD age 13 latest school report for science says aims for behaviour are to develop her critical listening and discussion skills!

She's got auditory dyslexia, sequencing issues and social skills problems!

c0rnsilllkrunninglikealaydee Sun 12-Feb-12 12:58:11

senco of mainstream school said that ds needed to be reprogrammed and when he wouldn't go to school he was apparently being narcissistic.

unpa1dcar3r Sun 12-Feb-12 13:48:27

Oh I am laughing my socks off at some of the above.

My two; genetic condition Fragile X Syndrome, a fragile site on the X chromosome. No cure.

"But they'll grow out of it won't they" said by various people over the years including many who should know better.

Same as saying a child will grow out of Down Syndrome.

Clinical Psychologist after hour long meeting where (Now Ex) husband got pinched, punched, spat on, sworn at, screamed at constantly youngest who has Fragile X syndrome/Autism/Severe ADHD/Complex Tourettes.
"I think the only problem with (Son) is lack of attention from you two. I suggest a parenting course. He's been an absolute angel today hasn't he"

Son clearly goes to school for severely disabled children because we are crap parents and nothing else! grin
You gotta laugh.

theDudesmummy Sun 12-Feb-12 13:54:24

Friend taking about the fact that my 2 and a half year old can't talk : "have you tried talking to him?"

Oh gosh, no I never thought of that!

newmannoggsforheadteacher Sun 12-Feb-12 13:58:34

Nowhere near as bad as some of the above, but one particularly stupid bloke asked about dd (born with only one ear) 'but surely it'll grow back'........

5inthebed Sun 12-Feb-12 14:02:15

"All he needs is a good hiding"
"Are you sure you're not withholding some sort of medication to make him normal?"
"You're only making him stay naughty to claim the benefits"
When pregnant with DS3 "So will this one have autism as well then?"

All by MIL

My pet hate though is "well he looks so normal". Wll yes, we cover his purple spots with make up and put a wig on his blue hair.

Sassyfrassy Sun 12-Feb-12 14:25:10

"She is just lazy, that's why she doesn't speak."
"She is just choosing not to speak."
"I bet she can speak really, she just can't be bothered."
and another two hundred varieties of the above.

silverfrog Sun 12-Feb-12 14:48:53

'you'll just have to accept that maybe dd1 won't learn anything at school' - said to dh & I after w challenged the (specialist, ASD, highly thought of (and clearly crap)) teacher to name one thing that dd1 had learnt there (after a year of attendance). dd1 was 4. so let's just write off the rest of her life, because you can't teach her hmm

2old2beamum Sun 12-Feb-12 15:02:15

My good friend with twins CP and associated problems had her mobile son (10) in the local supermarket when he threw a massive wobbly, on floor screaming, onlooker "if he was mine I would thrash his arse" friend opens bag and gives her a DLA allowance book (some time ago) "well you look after him" onlooker scuttles away, rest of shoppers smirk.

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