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ds is a camel

(43 Posts)
Eulalia Sun 09-Nov-03 17:04:01

Having a problem with getting ds to drink. This has been going on for months although some days are better than others. It is 5pm now and he's had nothing since about 11am and of course has NOT been to the toilet today.

I've tried giving different drinks in different types of containers, with straws (even spoons) different times of day etc etc but some days he just WON'T drink. Often he will become thirsty just before bedtime to make up and inevitably wets the bed (even with a nappy). Also if he isn't full enough (seems to need to have a full bladder) he refuses to go to the toilet at bedtime so I have to try to stuff in as much fluid at the right time to get him to go.

He has practically stopped drinking milk too and just wants blackcurrant juice all the time which I give him (v diluted) just for some fluid. I feel he needs the milk because his diet is so limited.

Anyone got any suggestions or tricks they have tried?

dh told me off because he had juice in a glass glass which he said should be plastic but he tends to knock these over. Often he needs the drink beside him just to remind him although this is getting increasingly difficult as ds will climb onto his seat and drink/spill it. I am finding the whole process exhausting. In fact I am finding ds exhausting! Particularly today as he's in one of his hyper moods, jumping off the chairs, throwing toys around, emptying jigsaws on the floor, vocalising silly noises and repeating phrases over and over and not leaving me alone for a second. dd is driving me mad also climing onto everything and having toddler tantrums (she is 18.5 months) and it is dark and cold - wah!!!

Sorry this wasn't supposed to turn into a moaning session. I feel bad as well as he was doing some pretend play with his Thomas train and I had to hold his truck and we said the same thing over and over and over.... and I said I don't want to do this anymore and ran out of the room - I've been couped up with them both today and not had a break ... anyway got to go as ds is climbing up and pulling all the vidoes out.

Eulalia Sun 09-Nov-03 17:10:41

Well he had just done a wee - a very big one.... so assuming he peed just before he took his nappy off at 8.15 am then that is 9 hours!!!

survivour Sun 09-Nov-03 17:18:35

You poor thing!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! First I think you need to speak with your Health Visitor...........

survivour Sun 09-Nov-03 17:24:49

You didn't say how old he was? Does he have any other problems? Your post sounds very similar to another thread that I have read on here, something about stimming.... have you read it? I'm no good at links, so I can't do one, but you may want to look into that thread.... The only help I can provide is to listen to your problem... sorry I could be of no other use........

coppertop Sun 09-Nov-03 18:24:05

Eulalia - Sending you lots of sympathy and hoping your day gets a bit better. I know how infuriating it can be when they get hyper, and you just want to scream when they repeat the same thing over and over. As for the drinking, I would stick with the blackcurrant for now, just so that he has something. At the risk of causing a domestic, just stick to the heavier glass if you know yourself that it works best. It's easy for dh's to criticise when they don't have to do the day-to-day stuff - my dh does that too and it drives me mad! You could try giving juicy fruit if your ds will tolerate it. It tastes sweet and contains water too. Hope things get better for you.

tamum Sun 09-Nov-03 18:26:52

Oh Eulalia, you poor thing. I've been on my own all weekend with my children- they're older than yours and don't have special needs, and that's been hard enough. I don't have any concrete suggestions, other than that I would give yourself a break and not worry about milk, however limited his diet is. I would try and treat this as a short-term problem (which I sincerely hope it is) and then you could just decide that keeping his kidneys healthy is more important at the moment than his nutrition, and give in to the blackcurrant juice. If you've tried different containers then I can't think what else to do really.
I hope the rest of the day improves!
xx

Eulalia Sun 09-Nov-03 19:34:56

Thanks, he is 4 and 4 months by the way survivor. Just got back from a firework display, didn't think we'd be able to go as it was raining earlier but it cleared up. It was brilliant and dd enjoyed it too.... managed to get some good pics (photography is my one and only hobby Ihave time for) in between keeping an eye on ds who kept weaving his way between people... so feel better ... but sometimes it feels like a fine line between coping and going mad!!

November is not my favourite month of the year also.

ds has had a carton of blackcurrent and apple, didn't want to go down the carton route as it is expensive but hopefully when I get DLA that will help.

anyway thanks all... got to go and make dinner now ((sigh)) a womans work is never done

Jimjams Sun 09-Nov-03 19:37:03

I second not worrying about the milk. Ds1 gave milk up a while ago (although he does now drink 1 cup if soya milk a day). I hide cheese in his pancakes and occasionally force a yoghurt into him.

We had a weeing problem a while back- I got a bit heavy handed on the potty training and ds1 refused to go for 40 hours! (Luckily the GP believed me). I would just stick with the blackcurrent and occasionally try something else.

As for the other stuff- get both kids into bed asap, then forget housework or anything else and sit down and relax and do what you want to do.

survivour Sun 09-Nov-03 19:46:58

sounds like you had a great time at the display. most of the time we just try and rush everything, its about time we took time out, and slowed down abit..... this goes for everyone reading this thread..... even you supermums.......

mrsforgetful Sun 09-Nov-03 22:06:09

EULALIA- i really FEEL how hard your day has been- i hope you are feeling bettER! Ironic really but i've been through exactly this with ds3 (the 1 i think is at worst only ADHD!) However there are 'bits' that make me wonder about ASD. You said about you've tried different cups etc...and yet he'll drink from a carton....been there too- i've even 'tricked' him in the following way....
to refil a carton -you squeeze the carton then imerse the srtaw hole in a dish with ribena etc in it - then start to release and resquash the carton and it will actually 'suck' in the drink all by itself!
DS3 is 4.5- and was still having very milky teas in a bottle till his 4th birthday- He'd been drinking out of a cup/straw for ages with squash- then as soon as i stopped his bottle totally- he then began to refuse squash etc- he's now EXTREMELY fussy and will rarely dring anything but orange squash- depending on ability- can you try a kids tea set or even give him som drink in the bath to pour into a nice cup- or use a teaspoon- these are all things i found helped- but 6 months on he still will not drink his cup of teas- i was gutted by this as he loved them- and had a pint of milk each day like this!
Also ... in addition ds3 is still in night nappies, has a dummy and is still using and possesive of his very first rocking car seat- he watches tv in it -despite being twice the size of it- somewhere i read that autie kids are slow to give up bottles and dummies etc....wonder if this will be something i will look at with hindsite as a sign!!!?

ScummyMummy Sun 09-Nov-03 22:24:58

I love the title of this thread. You are so clever, Eulalia. Sorry you had a bad day, though, and I hope ds will give up his camelly habits soon. That makes him sound like a smoker, doesn't it? Sorry! Fat lot of help I am... Hugs anyway.

fio2 Mon 10-Nov-03 10:06:40

Eulalia my dd went through this phase too, although now she does drink quite alot - I think school has helped (outside influences and all that!) I tried all the things you have- even the spooning - Aaarggh thats enough to drive you mad isnt it? I think it is something quite common with alot of sn kids. My dd insists on having a baby bottle too, which I only let her have in the house because its blumin embarassing taking a nearly four year old out with a babies bottle!! I think it will pass and you are doing the right things. Hope you are feeling better today, know the feeling of climbing up the walls!

mrsforgetful Mon 10-Nov-03 11:47:56

meant to say that when i read the thread title i thought this was about you child pretending to be a camel!!! DS3 pretends to be a kitten whenever he wants a cuddle or snack etc!!!!

dinosaur Mon 10-Nov-03 12:22:35

Eulalia,

I saw your message yesterday afternoon but was having such a torrid time with my two grizzlehounds that I didn't have a chance to reply...

Re the drinking, once DS1 finally gave up drinking from a lidded cup, I did worry for a while that he was not drinking enough. However he has gradually got better, although I can't point to any one thing that "did the trick". MY DH (who is the SAHD) is very good about remembering to offer him a drink frequently, which we think is necessary because I don't think he can be relied on just to drink when he's thirsty. The other thing we have done (although I slightly wish we hadn't) is to let him have a straw to drink through when he's at home - with the result that he hardly ever drinks anything without a straw - and neither does DS2 who is NT and an arch-copyist!

Sympathies about finding him exhausting. I did a terrible thing yesterday just before bedtime, I snapped at DS1 and told him I'd had just about enough of him for one day - then felt incredibly guilty... It was awful, he started doing this kind of nervous laugh...I said I was sorry and gave him a big cuddle, but I just so wished I could take the words back...

Eulalia Mon 10-Nov-03 13:33:43

camelly - I like it!

Jimjams - 40 hours! He must have looked like a tellytubby by then

coppertop - the glass comment was actually fair because ds banged dd on the head with it- it was only a tap as he's actually quite calculated when hitting dd and isn't malicious, even so a tap with a heavy glass did hurt her a bit and besides its not worth taking the risk!! I am going to search around for heavier type plastic glasses. He has a plastic glass with a screw top lid and hole for straw but tends to ignore it (needs to see the contents to remind him) and besides dd is obsessed with it and wants to use it all the time.

mrs f - ds is also babyish although hated bottles and refused a dummy but he still has a breastfeed first thing and last thing at night.. can't seem to get him off this but maybe its good that he is getting some milk that way. An example of his improved speech the other day he said "mummy can I get some milk from you" Hope he doesn't say that in front of anyone! Also he still sleeps in his cot and even with the side down won't climb out of it. He's only got about an inch space left on the top so I think we need to get a bed sorted soon!

Eulalia Mon 10-Nov-03 13:39:39

dinosaur - Yes have tried straws too which sometimes work - have quite a variety of them - one glass has the straw wrapped round the outside. He was really late in learning how to suck from a straw though.... now sometimes blows through the straw into the glass!!

Don't feel guilty - that is nothing compared to what I say, he even said "mummy stop shouting at me" I always explain and say sorry and I think he realises that I can get tired/grumpy - we are only human.

Anyway today he's had masses to drink so far, b/c juice, soup and peach juice

ThomCat Mon 10-Nov-03 13:46:07

Don't know how to get him to drink more but could you can get milk into him by using it in food. Make him custards and angel delight. Mix loads into mashed potato, paoched fish in milk etc.
How about mixing a framge frais into a bit of milk and seeing if he enjoys that. Would he maybe enjoy a milkshake? Would he eat watermelon maybe?

PS - thought you were telling us about his part in school nativity play when I read title of thread!!

mrsforgetful Mon 10-Nov-03 20:00:14

I still 'cringe' everytime ds1 (9yrs!) asks for a drink in an open cup/glass......or even worse when he asks to pour his own drink....i know i need to let him gain independance- and he tries to clean up the spillages...but Oh! The mess!!!

boyandgirl Mon 10-Nov-03 20:50:20

Eulalia, what about jelly? It was suggested to me when my ds was refusing to drink, as it's basically water with a bit of flavour and gelling agent.

coppertop Mon 10-Nov-03 21:19:45

Eulalia - I now have an image in my head of a little camel curled up in a cot. Very cute. Can you get hold of those suction-pad things that you use to stick baby bowls to tables to stop them getting tipped over? I don't know what they're called though. You could use them to stick the cup to the table and help save your poor dd's head.

Eulalia Mon 10-Nov-03 22:01:02

Thanks for the suggestions, unfortunately he is very rigid about his food so I can't trick him. He does like soup - tinned of course not mine! cream of tomato which is watery and will eat fromage frais, also watery. He was OK today and even had milk at nursery, it just seems to be a periodic thing.

I find it hard though this constant monitoring of his behaviour, eating/drinking habits, predicting events and trying to keep one step ahead to avoid upset... it is very wearing. I feel that I can't concentrate on dd who now seems to be running wild and causing havoc herself! I don't seem to have time to apply discipline techniques to her as often ds intervenes and tells her off and upsets her and I end up dragging her away and don't get the chance to deal with the situation properly. Also ds sometimes copies her behaviour too - its all so complicated!

Jimjams Mon 10-Nov-03 22:11:31

Good that he's copying though Eulalia

I know what you mean about trying to deal with 2. i can only go to playgrounds now if they are practically empty as I have to shadow ds1 if there are any other children around (as he does stupid things like grabbing a swing - he doesn't know the children are there - he's just fascinated by swings). This means that ds2 just gets dumped to fend for himself and at 22 months I think he's too young. I'm getting quite good at guessing when the park will be empty- and its a relief when it is.

mrsforgetful Mon 10-Nov-03 23:15:01

oH EULALIA! i KNOW EXACTLY HOW YOU FEEL! i HAVE PRACTICALLY GIVEN UP ON EVER BEING ABLE TO HOLD A SIMPLE CONVERSATION ON THE PHONE AGAIN!!!Let alone 'IF' we get avisitor- i find it impossible to discipline all 3 in the 'autie' way (due to the time it takes) so rather than 'upset them' more i end up 'not' doing anything- anyway not really a prb as the only visitors we get nowadays are 'health professionals' etc!!! (and i WANT them to see the struggles!)
Anyhow some good news for me.... My Mental Heath Social Worker said today that if my GP won't refer DS2 for a proper assesment then she will become involved- i think this is more to do with her concerns about how obssessed and anxios i am becoming over all this- but who cares what her motivation is...she's seen the boys in action and i'm sure she'd not offer a referral unles she had some concerns?
Sorry not much use to you Eulalia- but for months i have felt soooooo down about 'noone listening' and finally things are beginning to happen- I know you'll get there too- it just seems that when you have a SEN child there are so many hurdles to jump when you're already worn out! Yet we do keep going - don't we!? (p.s anyone who's interested....I've sorted the socks too!!)

dinosaur Tue 11-Nov-03 09:58:46

Eulalia and jimjams - it is hard dealing with two isn't it? mrsforgetful - how do you ever manage with three - and here's me thinking I want another one! Glad to hear that your concerns are being taken seriously at last mrsforgetful.

Thought of you this morning as I was singing "Fly me to the moon" on my way to the bathroom - DS1 shouted "Stop singing!" from his bedroom - he then decreed that before breakfast he, I and DS2 would sit down in the TV room and sing four songs - so we did!

mrsforgetful Tue 11-Nov-03 11:19:22

I must admit though life is better now all 3 are at school- though of course that has it's disadvantages as at the mo i keep being 'spoken to ' by ds2's teacher! I am trying to organise myself better so that when they are around i am not trying to do things which means i won't get so frustrated when i have to keep breaking off what i'm doing- the worst for me is simply 'thinking' about something and then they interupt my train of thought! I am forgetful by name and forgetful by nature!

generally i have to separate them all 'craftily' so none of them feels 'punished' or 'pushed aside'- due to the older 2's aspie/autie ways they usually hate anyone siting too close so i have to watch ds3 as he appears to enjoy the reaction he gets when he 'smothers' them on the settee! DS1 is generally happier upstairs on his playstation- so my hardest days are when he 'makes a rule' that 'today is "NO PLAYSTATION DAY" '!!! he then insists in 'joining in with ds2 with his lego bionicle or transformers....disaster as ds1 is very clumsy and as far as ds2 goes there is only 1 way to play....and that's HIS WAY!!!! DS3 tends to enjoy it when ds2 wants to run around the house- they both enjoy jumping and screaming ( !!!) but generally he tends to 'wind up ' the other two- probably because they react so well to him- and as they are autie...i have given up explaining that the more they react the more he does it.... and the only other thing i have to watch out for is that ds2 can retaliate a bit roughly towards ds3...but generally on day when i manage to get all 3 doing what they WANT to be doing- and in different rooms...then it's really not that bad....I just wish family would understand that this is why i find keeping ontop of the washing etc so hard...as all they say is 'all you have to do is put it in the machine.....' ....well i'd just like to find time to rememnber to actually switch it on....! !!!

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