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(17 Posts)
mrsforgetful Thu 06-Nov-03 20:16:21

I've decided to 'bite the bullet' and post on her EXACTLY what the paed wrote in her report following my request for her to observe ds2

Someone i showed it to today was shocked after what the school had said that the PAED had not begun the diagnosis process

THe report (not all of it!!!! )

DS2 will mix and play with other children but does not have close friends.
He can work in a pair or with a small group of children.
He does not volunteer to help others,does not show empathy and tends to be egocentric.
He does look and make eyecontact in conversation.
Generally he is quire articulate and can explain what he means.
When he first started school it was hard to get him to stop talking,he interuppted and called out frequently-but this is better now.
He has a strong sense of what is fair and unfair
He likes things to be right
He is very precise about time
Hebecomes intensley involved in things that interest him

Paeds Comments
ds2 is showing difficulties with social interaction and communication skills.
He shows inflexibility in his thought processes.
He prefers routine and a structured environment.
He shows an intense interest in certain topics about which he has a detailed knowledge.
He shows some stereotypical behaviour.
His behaviour patterns show some features typical of those experienced by children who have Asperger's Syndrome.
However in ds1's case this is to a lesser degree than with children who have asperger's syndrome.He ia able to function in a normal classroom environment.
He is keen to interact socially with his peers although he sometimes misunderstands conventions of social conduct.

I feel it is not appropriate to give him a label of AS at the present time, although he does show some tendancies towards this.He may benefit from some help with developing his social skills at school at some stage.
Social interaction between children becomes more complex as they get older.
If ds1 has difficulty managing social situations later and his behaviour becomes disruptive it may be appropriate to reassess his behaviour and reconsider the possibility of a diagnosis of Asperger's Syndrome

That's the important stuff- can i have some rational thoughthere....when i read 'no empathy,no close friends,egocentric,likes things to be right,precise,intensely involved in things,inflexibility,routine,stereotypical behaviour' i think it's ridiculous that she then says 'he is able to function in a normal classroom environment'
With behaviour like that is it no wonder he has no close friends and only 4 replis to 9 party invites?

Please be honest- i know he's not severe- but it is very hard work at home and a 'label' would be very useful to throw at family who say he's moody and a whinger!

coppertop Thu 06-Nov-03 21:47:17

So the paed has said that if he's still having problems in 2 years he MIGHT get a diagnosis?? Could you imagine a doctor saying "If your head still aches in 2 years, come back and I MIGHT help you."?? From what I've read your ds2 seems to have classic symptoms. Can you ask for a second opinion? I'm fairly sure it's an NHS entitlement.

mrsforgetful Thu 06-Nov-03 23:39:01

The person who read the report today gave me the names of 2 excellent ASD specialists based at the regional nhs hospital- so I am going to book a 20 minute appointment with my GP- she is lovely (up to now anyway!) -and i will take DS2 with me- so i am then going to see whether to 'settle this once and for all' she can 'trust me and my mother's instinct' and refer me to one of these specialists. (wonder if she'll refer all of us? )

Also she let on that she is the Special Needs Govenor for the school my boys go to! She has reffered me to a collegue who (in her spare time) volunteers for a group which helps families in my situation- this other woman is lovely and she says she will accompany me to any school/LEA meetings!!! She will even 'proof read ' any letters so that i can keep them crisp and know i tend to waffle on a bit!!!
And finally I have been struggling with whether to continue ds1's ADHD medication or 'with the school's support' have a trial without it so that we can see how he manages and then be able to see better his true needs- apparently this is the most likely way we will get an assessment by the LEA 'easily' as he is one of these kids that are bright,functioning and a pleasure to have around....medicated- but i am concerned that this is 'masking' his true self and needs.Soooo next weds i have the appt with ds2's paed- and am planning to at least discuss this- but ideally get her involved and re-assess himat school when this 'trial' begins.
This friend also gave me the details of a friend of hers who has in the past observed SEN kids in their home (WHAT I'VE BEEN CRYING OUT FOR!) and will write a professional report of her observation- she is a Special Needs Teacher and has a son with dyslexia and dyspraxia- and had a terrible time getting her son statemented- so started doing this 'favour' for people to help them have an easier time- She is recognised by our LEA so i can't believe my luck! She said a good first step is to video as many 'episodes' as i can so she can see a 'concentrated' overview then she will pop round for 'the visit'....she lives 2 mins walk away....isn't it amazing that all this has happened today!
I do feel a bit overwhelmed and will have to get very organised (ha Ha!! ) so as to have all the info these people need!

Tomorrow i have to be at the mental health unit at 10.30 for my 'confidence' workshop-till 12.30-then i need to sprint up the school by 1 as there is an independant cousre for parents called 'bridging the gap' and i really feel i need to push myself to go as it's all about the thing i struggle with most---the Home School Link!!! Maybe if i go to this i will be able to improve the communication between the teachers and I!

coppertop Fri 07-Nov-03 07:34:52

That's brilliant news, mrsf! It sounds as though it's finally all starting to come together. Of course you'll now have to do the frantic dash to hide all the clutter, ready for those home visits!

adell Fri 07-Nov-03 08:48:15

Mrsf- I don't know much about AS, but just wanted to say I'm really pleased that you're getting somewhere . I've just approached DD's school about Dyspraxia and am going to push for an assessment for her. I'm lucky in that a friend's sister is a special needs teacher and another friend knows the local paediatric OT and I've now received a lot of advice on how to approach this - shouldn't be like that though. I'll keep my fingers crossed for you.

maryz Fri 07-Nov-03 12:56:00

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Jimjams Fri 07-Nov-03 15:17:35

Mrs F

fio2 Fri 07-Nov-03 15:24:01

glad it went well mrsf+

mrsforgetful Fri 07-Nov-03 22:12:34

MARYZ- I hopes one of you would say what you said..... my hope is that another paed would see him in an unbiased way- i worry that this paed is almost comparing ds1 and 2- so a fresh pair of eyes etc will be great!
This morning ds2 freked out cos on the way to school he realised his trusers were on backto front- i was blamed- i had not layered the clothes properly apparently- ended up with me going to his class to explain where he was- and him going to the loos to change the trousers- i was totally unprepared for this one....and made the mistake of saying it didn't matter- as he's come home from P.E with all his clothes wrong- but apparently to him this was different- he went to school with 2 pairs of pants on yesterday- we've had a generally difficuult week- however this evening has been lovely and i am therefore optimistic that we won't have a 'meltdown' saturday as we normally do- however they're all having a hair cut tommorrow-not the greatest way to spend the afternoon!

mrsforgetful Fri 07-Nov-03 22:13:46

I hopes???? OOPS! I hope!!!!

coppertop Fri 07-Nov-03 22:19:11

Two pairs of pants and back-to-front trousers! Don't envy you the haircut experience though.

mrsforgetful Fri 07-Nov-03 22:30:58

also bought 2 new camcorder tapes today so will begin my filming to hopefully catch evidence- i am being visited by my Mental Health Social worker monday so would like to have a bit recorded to show her- thing is have i got the guts to walk round town tomorrow filming ds2 walking through the crowds in a zigzag manner-dividing the shoppers as he goes- oblivious to traffic etc??? Then a trip to mcD's would be a great example as he's sure to start hand flapping and 'bunny hopping whilst holding on the counter'!

coppertop Sat 08-Nov-03 07:06:00

If anyone tuts, just say that you're filming a documentary in the style of "Blair Witch Project". Tell them it's for Channel 4!

misdee Sat 08-Nov-03 08:13:44

2 pairs of pants and back to front trousers? try a dressing gown and welly boots

coppertop Sat 08-Nov-03 19:06:53

mrsf - how did the filming go? I could've done with a camera today when ds1 had a screaming fit because we walked down the 'wrong' aisle in WHSmith. However we also had a Benny Hill moment with me pushing ds2 (in his pushchair), running after dh, wh o was running after ds1 - who was just running away. We must've looked like the suitcase family from "The Fast Show"!

mrsforgetful Sat 08-Nov-03 22:26:31

I didn't go! My husband took all3 and they all came back with their hair cut within an hour!! I decided that i just couldn't go- and we have had quite a good day together- filming has however not been that simple- when THEY were performing quite nicely i was conscious of last nights muddles in the kitchen so put off filming till i'd tidied up- by wich time ds1's medication had calmed him down sufficiently so that he was not annoying ds2- then when ds3 was dancing round ds2 and singly loudly 'here we go round the mulberry bush' and ds2 was squawking nicely i could't find a 'safe' place to leave the camera... i reckon i need a tripod...i know i could simply stand there- but ds3 keeps wanting to look at the 'view'- whereas if i'm not holding it they ignore it!Also i'm trying to catch the 'triggers' as well as the 'resulting behaviour' and not edit it- i want it to be seen how 'well' ds2 will play alone and for how long- compared to how long he will will 'play with' a long as everything goes his way- and then what happens --- if it shows a continuing time then it's better than me stopping and starting the camera selectively- i dont want them thinking that i've only shown the worst of a situation-so i think i have to get a tripod!

coppertop Sun 09-Nov-03 18:42:27

Your dh persuaded all three to have a haircut??! I'm impressed! Ds1 has had only one proper haircut in nearly 3.5 years and it was absolute hell. The rest of the time we had to cut it ourselves while he was asleep. Not a good look, I have to say! I know what you mean about not wanting to film the clutter. Relatives came round with their camera one Xmas and I had to keep ushering ds1 over to the tidier half of the room!

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