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Here are some suggested organisations that offer expert advice on SN.

Tean around the child. How do you find them?

(12 Posts)
sheepgomeep Sat 22-Oct-11 10:56:10

Ive been to my third meeting with them and I'm just not impressed.

I found them patronizing, kept calling me 'mum' instead of my name, said to my sons school teachers who were in the meeting. 'mum has rather a lot of other children with 2 different fathers' I have four altogether hmm

I felt so off kilter at this meeting and quite intimidated.

My sons behaviour has got worse lately and I felt that they blamed me and didnt listen to what I said. They called me a liar because my son has a phobia about taking tablets, he wont take his melatonin but will reluctantly take his adhd meds. They soon shut up when ds came into the meeting and confirmed it. His tablets are his little 'enemies'

Feel very disheartened about them

lechillycornsilk Sat 22-Oct-11 11:00:21

angry for you
did you have someone with you?

sheepgomeep Sat 22-Oct-11 11:36:32

No I was on my own. Noone can come with me as ds dad works and there is no one else.

I just feel Ive reached a brick wall with these people, As ds is ok at school but a complete nightmare at home I feel like I am not believed and this was apparant in the meeting. It is a new school as he's gone to high school this time and his day is very structured so thats why he is ok at school.

The coordinator kept going on and on about my parenting and when I said that ds is very aggressive to my 4 year old dd2 she retorted well thats probably because all your attention is on her. Well actually no she gets the least attention of all the dc because actually most of the attention and care goes on ds!.

lechillycornsilk Sat 22-Oct-11 11:42:59

Try to take someone with you next time - were parent partnership there? It's not unusual at all for children to keep it together at school and then release their frustration at home. It's easier for them to blame you though.

lechillycornsilk Sat 22-Oct-11 11:58:35

parent partnership may go with you I meant to say....
Maybe someone on here would be able to go with you depending on where you are. Hope you're okay. smile

brandy77 Sat 22-Oct-11 12:04:17

oh gosh poor you sad definitely take someone to the next meeting, even if its a neighbour or friend, just someone for support, it does make you feel confident and able to speak up for yourself more. I speak from experience, as when my son was in mainstream it was suggested at the TAC meetings that it was parenting because his behaviour was horrific from the minute he was handed over, aged 6 then, 7 now. The first few meetings i just sat there and didnt feel confident at all and found it all so stressful, i went to the docs in the end and she gave me propanonol for my nerves because of these meetings and it totally changed me, I actually gave them what for smile Parenting is blamed so much with SEN kids and it really really annoys, i say let these people spend a few hours at home with the kids and see themselves turn into emotional wrecks!!! My son is now statemented and in a special school and I have to say the outbursts after school have reduced sooooo much, because the staff are obviously more supportive and try to speak to him at the end of the day too see if he has any worries before bringing them home. Sorry Ive waffled smile

coff33pot Sat 22-Oct-11 13:42:04

I have no experience of them but send you a hug. A lot of Professionals are for want of a better word not trained in tact. And really it shouldnt matter how many kids you have or how many dads its frankly none of their business!

signandsmile Sat 22-Oct-11 18:43:58

I have to say I had really good experience of TAC, but I think that was because we have a fab lead professional to chair them, they can be very useful, as professionals who are invited but don't attend can be given jobs by the meeting that they have to complete grin. I also wrote a report for it, just like the professionals do, (mine was more detailed than some of theirs wink.) this gets made part of the minutes. So you have a record.

You can choose who your lead professional is, btw. So it might be useful to pick someone who 'gets you' (am hoping at least one professional does,,, {fingers crossed} )

lisad123 Sat 22-Oct-11 19:22:47

Hated mine, completely useless! It was before dd2 had a dx and I had one preschool telling me there was nothing wrong and were backed up by there educational lead who saw her for 1 hour once hmm
Had salt and SN nursery backing me up grin but because they couldn't agree they came up with stupid plans and after the 3rd meeting I told them to shove it. I said it's was pointless wasting 8 professionals time of which they could spend with dd, to make pointless plansgrin

sheepgomeep Sat 22-Oct-11 21:50:28

thanks for your replies everyone, it all comes down to whether you have a good lead professional doesn't it. If you dont it clouds your whole experience of an organisation thats supposed to help you

She kept focusing on the negatives and not the positives. I think they saw me as a stupid mother, single mum and at times talked over me. At the end I was quite (I thought rudely) dismissed and they all carried on talking. I think ds's assis deputy head must have thought twice about this because she came running out of the door after me and said well its nice to meet you and see at the next meeting.

I am seriously annoyed the lead proffessional kept calling me mum. I do have a fecking name grrrr

sheepgomeep Sat 22-Oct-11 21:52:13

I must say Ive never heard of parent partnership. What do they do?

lechillycornsilk Sun 23-Oct-11 10:13:47

each LEA should have one - just google parent partnership and you should find it
They are there to give advice and support to parents of children with SEN

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