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TA talking outside of school

(14 Posts)
coff33pot Tue 18-Oct-11 12:09:27

Need your advice on this one please.

The TA at DS school and I have history. In the sense that her dd has basically beaten up my dd on quiet a few occasions at a club, on the way home from school and in the park etc. Dont want to go too indepth but even the TA has approached my dd and yelled at her and prevented her from leaving an area to go home. Unfortunately this TA lives in a bubble and wont believe anything despite being shown cuts and bruises so its a sad state of affairs at the moment.

This is enough to say DS with the issues he has, has gone berserk inside the house when he has seen his sister run or limp in distressed. It doesnt help matters this mother is at DS school.

This TA also is unable to keep her mouth shut on issues to do with children at the school or resist the temptation to talk about the parents. The fact that she has gone to uni for a year makes her the proffessional in how to bring up children and so she has a habit of voicing her oppinions to anyone who will listen.

On too many occasions now its got back to me that she is openly talking about my boy in the street, saying how difficult and hard to handle he is and what a pain he is. angry

Is this a breach of confidentiality? or are TAs not covered by such a thing.

tabulahrasa Tue 18-Oct-11 12:12:03

Absolutely a breach of confidentiality

purplemurple Tue 18-Oct-11 12:26:42

I would agree with tab, I don't know for fact but it doesn't sound right that a TA can go blabbing about children or parents to whomever they choose.

coff33pot Tue 18-Oct-11 12:30:38

My reasons for asking is this:

At a meeting before end of summer term with Head/Senco It was pointed out that DS was to have different TAs. Now he is still PT at the mo but should he return to the afternoon then the Head suggested this particular TA....

The Head went on to say that she was asking me because this TA volunteered straight away but then went back to her and said "I think you aught to know......." yep she discussed the bullying but obviously to her advantage. I was annoyed at this to say the least as it was private business and nothing to do with DS or his school.

Nonetheless I was discreet and said that I felt that whilst I am in no way trying to say her teaching isnt good enough, it wasnt a good idea as if she were looking after DS and she had issues with him, then I would likely be biased towards her owing to private issues, which would be unfair to her at school and to DS. Also she is part of a club DS goes to and should he have a hard time at school he may feel inclined to refuse to go to his only outside activity so I dont want the same TA teaching him for that reason.

The Head said that this might pose a problem for when he comes back full time but not to worry as we are not there yet and it was left.

However now every time I am collecting DS after lunch this TA has had him all lunch time period. Now I dont know if the head isnt listening or hoping that "these things pass" but now I have been told of these public comments I am fuming. And I am trying to work out a tactful way of stopping this woman interacting with my son for the foreseeable future seeing as he is in his last year there. Or just plainly writing to the head and sending in a complaint about her. I dont stand on streets talking let alone have coffee in ppls houses and keep myself to myself so for ppl to tell me he is being discussed she must have said some very informative things.

purplemurple Tue 18-Oct-11 12:46:19

I would go for the letter, if it were me. You can be more diplomatic in a letter and give examples of what she has been discussing. I would be quite furious in your situation.

rebl Tue 18-Oct-11 12:48:52

It is in direct breach of the confidentiality that all TA's are bound by (just like any other member of staff in the school). There will be a school policy on this (probably confidentiality policy or relationships policy). Ask the school for a copy of this and see who is responsible for this (normally the HT) and how it is handled.

zzzzz Tue 18-Oct-11 12:52:20

Personally I would ask for a quick meeting with the Head. Then tell the head exactly what you have said here. The TA has a history with your family and now you are hearing stuff blabbed all around the place about your child being difficult and that you are really upset about it. Burst into tears and say you just don't think you can cope with this woman's gossip and also that her take on ds is the very last thing you want him to pickup on. Ask her if someone else can supervise him at lunch and if she can help at all with stopping the woman talking about ds outside school and if she could reassure you that ds IS going to have someone different.

She is a Headteacher she will get exactly where you are coming from and in all likelihood have huge sympathy for your situation. Individuals like the TA you describe can make life quite difficult for a school too as discretion is a large part of teaching. The Ta needs to change and understand her professional responsibilities.

Hopefully the Head can reassure you that she can manage this situation and the whole thing will just go away.

Poor you Cof33 what a horrid situation.

Soutty Tue 18-Oct-11 14:18:25

It is a massive breach of confidentiality and I would be incensed if I were in your situation. Either see the head or write a letter, whichever you feel most comfortable with but definitely report her. She can't be allowed to get away with this behaviour.

coff33pot Tue 18-Oct-11 14:55:27

Thank you very much for your input at least I know now that she is in breach. I did phone school 20 mins ago but Head is away today and they are not sure what she has on tomorrow as she has gone off with diary so will try and see her tomorrow if I can or at least make an appointment before the end of the week being half term next week I would like to get this sorted sooner rather than later.

bigbluebus Tue 18-Oct-11 14:57:10

I have been in this 'gossiping' situation with lunchtime supervisors when my DS was at primary school. We live in a village, so gossip doesn't take long to spread. This particular lunchtime supervisor was heard gossiping about my DS in the local club one evening and a friend of mine overheard and reported it back to me. Unfortunately, if I had named names it would have 'outed' my friend as the snitch - which she didn't want. So I went to the HT and just told him that one of his lunchtime staff (of which there were 4) had been gossiping in the village and was in breach of the confidentiality clause in her contract. The HT was very understanding about my reasons for not revealing what had been said or where - but called all 4 staff in to his office and and reminded them of their terms of employment. One of the staff owned up to having chatted about my DS in the village shop - but amazingly she wasn't the one that had been heard by my friend! So it seems none of them could keep their mouths shut! I think the message got through to them though!!

As others have suggested, speak to the head again and if it doesn't improve then complain to the Governors.

EllenJaneisnotmyname Tue 18-Oct-11 14:58:43

Definitely a breach of confidentiality. I am very careful not to 'out' the child I work with, other parents aren't even aware he has any SEN. I would complain, as diplomatically as you can.

EllenJaneisnotmyname Tue 18-Oct-11 15:00:29

oops, x post. But I did read that as the head had gone off to the dairy! grin What, needs more butter?

MangoMonster Tue 18-Oct-11 15:05:48

Agree with soutty. It's ridiculous behaviour from someone in that position.

coff33pot Tue 18-Oct-11 15:16:44

lol @ dairy!!

It would be impossible to make it a general "one of lunchtime staff" as this TA is solely with DS at lunch so the head couldnt make a general thing of it unfortunately. I certainly dont intend to out the person that advised me. One was an adult and the other was actually DD herself because the woman was talking to her family and friend about him when DD was present which put DD in a very awkward position seeing as it was her little brother she was talking about. I already had one of his TAs talking to the person in charge of the club. She had been asking how DS was doing in the club. I was told by the club that they are allowed to ask of a childs welfare. I told her I dont object to her asking how he is doing at the club because she is a nice TA and I doubt it was more than an open interest iyswim. But the other one! no.

I dont WANT to give her a bad record as everyone needs a job to survive and I havent seen anything bad at school to warrant complaining about her teaching help. But if my polite request is going to get ignored then I have no choice in the matter. DS is going through a tough phase at the moment and funnily enough its every lunchtime hmm

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