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Does it get easier?

(11 Posts)
ihatecbeebies Fri 14-Oct-11 12:38:16

DS has had difficulties in nursery, and now school, for the past 2 years, I found out a month ago that he probably has ASD and Dyspraxia. I was in a state but at least it explained his behaviour and meant that he wasn't a 'bad kid'. I felt a bit better a week ago and thought I was ready to fight for everything he needed but then on Wednesday night it was parents night and the teacher mentioned ASD and Dyspraxia whilst we were talking and when I got out I was a state again crying, I thought I had my head around it but now I'm depressed again and in tears at every little thing...

I know it has only been a month but DP's DD was dx with Rett Syndrome 2 years ago and it still brings him to tears 2 years later.

Does it get easier knowing that your DC may find life more difficult or am I always going to feel like this?

Firsttimer7259 Fri 14-Oct-11 13:28:11

Hi, I dont really know as we are just at the starting out stage too, [have see you on the handholding thread]. Wanted to give you some support and a hug.
It goes in waves for me and its taking its time.
But I would say that Retts sounds (to me) like its in a totally different category to what your son may have. Retts makes me cry just to think about it. I hope I am not being ignorant, but I think your son will be ok, different but able to lead a happy and independent life. Retts is a different ball park and an independent, pain-free life may not be on the cards.
Give yourself time to feel sad, but dont panic brew

EllenJaneisnotmyname Fri 14-Oct-11 16:52:54

Gosh, my DS2 was DXed nearly 9 years ago with ASD and it can still make me cry occasionally. It's still very early days, cbeebies. You'd be unnaturally strong not to still be grieving. But it does get better. I started to get to know /love my DS for the quirky, gorgeous (frustrating) person he was becoming rather than missing the NT child he was never going to be. Good luck and keep coming back for more support. smile

cansu Fri 14-Oct-11 16:58:13

It still makes me sad seven years after the diagnosis but that said I am not in the state I was in then. It does get easier but I have always found it hard to discuss with mums of nt children. I think the fact that they are so sympathetic tends to make me more emotional! I try and stick to practicalities when discussing with others as I feel more able to deal with this side of things. I think you should be kind to yourself. It is definitely early days. In the months after ds was diagnosed I was basically an emotional wreck in private!

lisad123 Fri 14-Oct-11 16:58:55

I think you stop crying about the dx but never stop crying about how difficult life is for them and how hard it is to get help sad

ineedstrongcoffee Fri 14-Oct-11 17:24:52

My son was dx almost 4 years ago and i still have days when i feel like ive been hit by a truck,however those kind of days are getting fewer and fewer.
Day to day i just have to get on with it and our life becomes normal to us.But in september when i saw all ds old classmates pass our house on their way to the new school i had imagined he would go to it broke my heart.I felt as bad as i did on the day ASD was first mentioned to me.
Now i have accepted that the smileing little chap that comes home to me every evening just wouldnt be smileing if i had allowed my heart to rule my head.

bee169 Fri 14-Oct-11 17:41:16

I know exactly how you feel. Some days I also feel strong and a few days later I can feel really low. My ds was diagnosed nearly a year ago and I still feel like it was only yesterday that I was sitting in the paed's office listening to his diagnosis sad

But I have to say, my strong days are increasing as the weeks go by and I hope the same feeling comes to you soon brew

AlysWho Fri 14-Oct-11 17:53:17

I'm with Ellen. The grieving process is LONG, but eventually it fades alot, and you love and accept your child for who they are. sadness around lack of support, frustration and sometimes loneliness are a massive issue for us mums, but as they grow up and into their own little person, and hopefully some of the hard work pays off it DOES get easier , yes. Give your self time and let yourself go through all the emotions..x

saintlyjimjams Sat 15-Oct-11 13:35:02

Yes it gets easier. My son is 12, has severe learning disabilities and severe autism. He's still non verbal and can still be a PITA. He's also often lovely and emotionally I no longer feel like I've been hit by a bus. We're very close and I feel as if he's my little mate as we often head off out together and like doing the same things. For example he now surfs, and I tend to surf the same time as him (he goes out with an instructor and they're so good with him and now he knows the routine which is to surf for an hour they don't need me so I get in with my own surfing) (although he's cross is weekend as he's not going until next week). We walk the dog together a lot as well.

It does take time and in the early years I fel like we were racing the clock tiake progress. Well he hasn't made progress in the ways I wanted, but has in all sort sof unexpected ways. We have a good if often full in life.

MangoMonster Sat 15-Oct-11 19:38:33

I agree with bee169, the happy days are getting more and more frequent and the sad days are happening less, although they are still as intense. I'm sure I'll always have the lows but I've learnt to really appreciate the highs.

ihatecbeebies Sat 22-Oct-11 12:12:21

Thanks for all of your replies. It was a bit hard to read but I appreciate the honesty, it is a comfort in a way to know that it is ok to still feel so sad about it all.

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