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is this possible? wwyd?

(9 Posts)
concernedaboutthis Thu 13-Oct-11 21:26:02

brief outline.
Have dd (9) has a syndrome that means that she has frequent hospital appts, is often ill and absent from school and I often get calls from school to come and collect. Part of syndrome measns that she gets tired/has pain. In addition would seem that various surgeries are looming in near future, one v. major one.

Have been doing adhoc part time work for a long time now; have seen ad for dream job- that I think I could get (although sure there will be many applicants!) Catch - it is full time and 40 min commute.

Dh has high pressured job and will be of little support practically.

There is no back up, other than maybe odd day here or there fam' support in the holidays.

Is it even worth applying??

How do other people manage kids and work.

ps have no room for aupair and salary woudl not be up to employing a nanny..

TIA

am i the only one that finds it all slightly depressing?!

lisad123 Thu 13-Oct-11 21:29:31

well you can always apply. They cant stop you if you have appointments for dd, and you are allowed, I think, 21 parental days a year. These arent paid.
The other option might be to ring and ask if they would consider a job share? If they have 2 wonderful people apply, and its logically possible they might consider it

zzzzz Thu 13-Oct-11 21:35:13

What about an au-pair for the first 6 months/year. Apply, try working and if it is dreadful for all of you after the first 6months/year hand in your notice and go back to what you are doing. No guts no glory....if you think it is for you go for it.

concernedaboutthis Thu 13-Oct-11 21:39:41

have emailed and asked about jobshare; have feeling they will suggest applying as think might be policy - and then I probably won't get an interview!
Alas no room for aupair, have little house!

zzzzz Thu 13-Oct-11 22:23:49

Sometimes people will "share" their au pair with you...if you don't provide the bed you usually pay more, but might be an option. Alternatively you could make a deal with another Mum in dd's class. Someone with a small baby so they can't work is probably your best bet, or just a happy sahm who needs extra cash.

unpa1dcar3r Fri 14-Oct-11 09:10:27

Hi Concerned
You need to get social services to do something. it is your right to work/leisure and education under the carers recognitions and services act and many other statutes in all sorts of acts such as the Social security act...
Have you and your daughter had your carers assessments? if not get one done now. If you have it will need to be amended to suit your new possible working hours.
I'm making it sound easy and it isn't. In fact I have had to employ a solicitor specialising in SN to fight my case for me but we're getting there!
SS are good at telling you they don't have a budget, it's run out etc etc but they are legally obliged to try their best to sort out support for you as a carer, inc providing support workers or whatever you need like that.

concernedaboutthis Fri 14-Oct-11 10:23:38

thank you for your replies. SS wouldn't go near us, the fight for that would be futile, like looking for hens teeth, it just won't happen.
i feel a bit cheerier today, I have a happy life really, every now and then I get fed up that there are some things that are so near in some ways but so far in others, if that makes sense.
DD won't be young forever, maybe I just have to bide my time (and hope that my skill set doesn't outdate too much along the way).
I will wait and hear back about the jobshare, you never know - and have a possible couple of childcare options to explore, although they are tentative.
A big part of the problem I think, is that dd health stuff is largely invisible, she presents as a 'normal' child, so is hard to put across to people what caring for her really entails. Good childcare is v hard to find, but childcare for a child with pain and disability is harder I suppose, 'ti's the reality.
i have never posted here before, but like the idea that atleast other people reading might know where I am coming from & will 'get it'!

2011RWC Fri 14-Oct-11 11:50:52

I totally get it! I'm having such a battle with my work at the moment that its really getting me down after feeling quite up for the past few months! They've refused my request for a phased return to work (I was off on maternity leave with DS2 then straight into sick leave because of DS1 who has Global Developmental Delay) We can't secure any paid child care for him and family are no longer in the position to help out due to illness on both sides of the family. I have asked to use my accrued holiday leave to work a 3 day week until march by that stage DS's statement should be final, he will have a SN nursery place and his wheelchair will be here. But hey oh they've said no - this is despite letting a pregnant worker use her leave to do a 4 day week and then only replacing her with a part time worker (same dept) allowing an asthma sufferer to work half days and at home after a bad attack, offering everyone term time working, giving three members of staff up to 8 weeks unpaid leave with the cost spread over the months left in the financial year. I'm feeling very hard done by and a bit fed up at the moment. Sorry I hope that hasn't depressed you - it's just unfair isn't it!

concernedaboutthis Fri 14-Oct-11 12:50:18

so sorry to hear of your circumstances, it is all pretty rubbish.
Yes it is unfair, very unfair.
it's that kind of trap that puts me off the whole full time thing. I really hope that when your little one is fully 'in the system' as it were things are a little easier. There isn't much else to say other than at least we are putting our children first (even if it is through lack of choice lol)

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