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DD1 is beside herself and to be honest so am i :(

(7 Posts)
lisad123 Thu 13-Oct-11 17:11:45

DD1 new teacher this year seriously isnt getting it. I was told today that shes had a really bad week, and he only offered this up when i went to speak to him as DD1 told me she'd had a bad day sad
She has had 4 seperate meltdowns today (her meltdowns mean she sits a cries and rocks back and forth and in just in a state of panic)
Now it started first thing when her notes for her school play was not in her drawer, and she knew she needed them for her play first thing this morning in front of whole school hmm
Then they missed swiiming. The teacher doesnt seem able to stick to the routines of class and twice they have missed PE!!
She is crying all the time and we are back to the not sleeping, not wanting to leave the house and refusing food sad
We are waiting for appointment with challeging behavioural team, and appointment with EP who cant see us till dec!
I have suggested a home/school book as her teacher isnt great at talking to me and also they have agreed to a comfort bag, and they have set up an art club thing to help her calm down, but im not conviece they will stick to it, or that they are having enough impact on her.

Have anyone got any other suggestions?? Can schools provide art therapy?

Help, I have just hit a brick wall and am so very very tired.

bialystockandbloom Thu 13-Oct-11 18:07:01

Oh poor her sad and you.

Definitely a home/school book, actually I'm amazed they havne't got one already. Does she have an IEP? If so, is it up to date, can you review it? If not, can you set one up? Sorry, I don't know your full situation, but is she on SA/SA+/statement? Sounds like her anxiety should be prioritised asap. It's not fair on her at all.

Teacher sounds very disorganised but maybe give him benefit of the doubt being the new term? <<optimistic>>

lisad123 Thu 13-Oct-11 18:26:11

yes she has an IEP and on SA. There has never been much of a need for home/school book as last teachers have been really good about giving verbal feedbacks daily and parents have 10 mins in the morning to talk to teacher.

Shes slowly getting worse and short of HE, Im out of ideas

Ineedalife Thu 13-Oct-11 18:33:37

How horrible for you and your Dd lisad, I have no useful suggestions other than what is the SENCO like, he/she should be able to talk to the teacher about the impact that his disorganisation is having on your Dd.

This time last year I thought HE was our only option but then I found the lovely school where Dd3 is now. It has still taken her having several meltdowns at school to get things moving for us though. Or maybe it was that magical piece of paper from CAMHS.

Good lucksmile

bialystockandbloom Thu 13-Oct-11 19:47:48

What year has she just gone into? Might be way off the mark, but perhaps she's adjusting to the jump in expectations, change of classroom, teacher, maybe a big step up in level of work etc.

It's probably luck of the draw with teachers isn't it.

Have you considered a statement? And perhaps at the least, if the problems are increasing, talk to the school about putting her on SA+.

If I was you I would be asking for a meeting say after half-term. Spend the next two weeks monitoring her behaviour at home, and asking them (if they can/will!) to monitor her at school to see if there are any other particular triggers for anxiety/meltdowns on top of what you have said re change in routines etc. Then at a meeting you can address everything and agree ways to help - not just in an art club (which I'm sure won't do any harm!) but in the other areas where she needs support. Also a way of ensuring good communication between you and school.

lisad123 Thu 13-Oct-11 21:21:26

we are going for statement, hence why waiting on EP. Shes just gone into year 4, I wouldnt say she finds the work hard, infact its more likely too easy.

It certainly never seems to be about the work but more to do with teacher, TA and MSA.
She told us that she feels today was because of the worry of the school play, the fact her paper work was missing, she then missed start of math lesson because of talking to the head, she then was out of routine and then they missed swimming. It seems pretty clear to me her teachers laid back attitude to routines really is of no help at all.

Her teacher is very nice, a little wet behind the ears but is a kind man and clearly very gentle with her.

We are also having issues about whole class being punished for a small number of childrens misbehaviours, which is so hard for her to understand.

The school along with the autism teacher are putting together a pen profile, so hopefully this will give staff all the information they need.

Ineedalife Thu 13-Oct-11 21:39:11

Why do some teachers persist in punishing the whole class???sad

It does'nt work, the ones who are a pain will be a pain whether or not everyone gets punished.

My Dd1 and 3 have great difficulty with this and it does absolutely nothing for their relationship with the teacher, especially at this time of year when it can be make or break.

My girls are the same in that the work is rarely the issue, although they have turned up the heat lately for Dd3, she has also just gone into year 4.

I really hope your Dd's profile will help her, I think we will be looking at doing one for Dd3.

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