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Here some suggested organisations that offer expert advice on SN.

Someone please read

(8 Posts)
GodKeepsGiving Thu 06-Oct-11 14:24:23

Original thread here: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/special_needs/1312039-So-worried-about-my-daughter
Poor DD2 off school with stress until she starts her new school on Monday. I let her walk to the shops (she's 12 and AS) - about 5 mins from our house and she met the mother and stepfather of the former friend who bullied her at her old school. She asked DD2 why she wasn't at school and referred to her new school. This woman and I were friends for a while and I know from previous conversations that she thinks the school is really rough. It does have a very mixed intake but it's a small school which is used to dealing with vulnerable pupils, both from deprived backgrounds and SN. I just know she'll be gloating that her daughter will get the better education. The other school is harder to get into and transport is expensive. I know that the woman and her daughter are irrelevant and petty but when it's you and your daughter they're ripping to shreds it hurts! I just need some support really.

jandymaccomesback Thu 06-Oct-11 15:22:12

"good" school doesn't equal "good" education.Finding a school that can help your DD is the main thing, and you have done your best to find that. Some supposedly goodschools can only cope with pupils who conform to the norm, and are useless with anyone who is different.

GodKeepsGiving Thu 06-Oct-11 15:41:52

Thanks Jandy, your point about good schools not equalling good education is very true. She just cannot cope at the other school. I need to let go of hurt and bitterness towards our former friends I suppose, at least then I can concentrate on DD2's future.

squidworth Thu 06-Oct-11 16:02:48

There's are parents from my eldest DS primary school who I still after years have a physical knot in my stomach when I see them. I smile and nod my head when I see them but I cannot forget but I do carry on in the knowing my DS is better without these people in his life.

GodKeepsGiving Thu 06-Oct-11 16:12:49

Squid, it's absolutely horrible isn't it? They are the same sorts of parents, at least in my experience who say things like 'at least he doesn't have anything physically wrong, or vice versa if they do have physical problems. I was actually thinking about approaching a television programme, such as Panorama to see if someone could present a show about children with special needs and the hell that they and their parents go through because they look normal. Thanks for your insight and support.

auntevil Thu 06-Oct-11 17:30:21

I moved my son from a 'good' school to a 'failing school' and it was the best thing i could have done for my DS - he's thriving. You send your DD to the best place for her - s*d the onlookers to your life, because that's all they are, onlookers.
I'm a great believer in happy children will learn, you can't be happy and bullied. Good luck for monday smile

EllenJaneisnotmyname Thu 06-Oct-11 17:59:51

Our local 'outstanding' secondary, only actually gets such good league table results because it actively puts off any children with SEN from attending. It's SEN dept is shite. The local 'sink' school is so much more inclusive. It's horses for courses and of course you would rather have your DD happy and included. Your ex-friend is the one to be pitied, her DD is a bully. I can't think of anything worse.

imogengladheart Thu 06-Oct-11 18:15:46

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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