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Thinking of going back to Mainstream..

(11 Posts)
purplewerepidj Thu 06-Oct-11 13:40:17

Me, that is. I expect everyone thinks I'm the devil incarnate after my foot in mouth moment on Devient's thread (more apologies offered) so please ignore this if you're still pissed off at me - not sure I could handle negative opinions right now.

I work in care, with adults. I get fuck all money and fuck all respect. Due to the needs of my Dudes, I actually do do a disproportionate amount of bum wiping. Because it's adults, it's all about "supporting people to live their lives hwo they want" which translates as "sitting on their arse watching tv while the staff run around doing the cooking cleaning". We don't have enough staff to do both most of the time. I can't take much more of it. I'm job hunting like nobody's business and getting precisely nowhere. All I'm apparently qualified for is what I do now - which I'm coming to hate. I'm sitting here crying at the thought of going in tomorrow.

Please can anyone help me feel like my life isn't completely pointless? That, actually, not all staff are incompetent and untrustworthy? I feel like I'm looking over my shoulder all the time since that horrible Panorama programme

Sorry, ignore at will. A bad day for someone who should know better.

Lougle Thu 06-Oct-11 14:59:33

Well, I won't indulge you smile. You posted an ill-thought out post. You got carried away with a snapshot of knowledge, and thought that your post was helpful. Join the club. We've all been there.

Frankly, if you don't love your job, it's the wrong one for you. Bum wiping (I've done many years of it pre-children) is not glamorous, but the person behind the bum makes it worthwhile. If it doesn't do that for you, move on.

Either that, or get a qualification that will enable you to target the areas that you feel are lacking in the sector.

Be kind to yourself, but don't indulge in this self-pity. It won't help you, and it certainly won't help your clients smile

purplewerepidj Thu 06-Oct-11 15:52:34

The person I'm dealing with at the moment has many similarities to Dev's DS, but is that bit older and hasn't had the therapy input. It breaks my heart to think what they could have acheived if they'd had a bit more input and understanding at an earlier age.

My job shouldn't be about bum-wiping. That's just something necessary to get on to the rest of it. Unfortunately, the lack of funds and staff means that it's becoming more about what is seen as essential (personal care, providing food and a clean environment) and very little about what is seen as frivolity (having a conversation, getting out and about for coffee/feed the ducks, day services). To me the "frivolities" are just as important, yet I can't provide them due to lack of staff and/or funds. One Dude hasn't been out except on my shifts for about three weeks now - I only work 2 days a week. There are valid reasons why not, but there shouldn't be!

I've got a degree, a PGCert (1/3 of a masters, I flunked) and an NVQ3. I'm computer literate. I can't afford to take time out for retraining, even if I could find something to retrain in - and that's a risk I can't take because what if it turns out like this, and I hate it?

I know you know me well enough to know I don't usually indulge myself like this. Thanks thanks

silverfrog Thu 06-Oct-11 17:26:45

more wise words from Lougle.

purple, if the job is making you so unhappy that you are crying at the thought of going in tomorrow, then maybe it is not the right one for you?

what is it that you would, in an ideal world, want to do? is there a way to achieve that while still working (eg OU?)

the world of care is not ever going to be a glamorous one. and I am always in awe of people who have chosen to do it. I have done my share of bum wiping and care pre-children too, but for the same reasons as now - for family (I cared for my mother when she was ill), out of love.

from the experiences I have had (my mother was a care assistant when I was a child too, and I used to have to go into work with her sometimes), the bum wiping and cleaning is as important to the people receiving the care as the outings and frivolities are - if basic needs are not met, then it is very hard to be comfortable and relaxed.

auntevil Thu 06-Oct-11 17:36:02

I think that lots of jobs come to a natural conclusion. Sometimes you don't change profession, just move company/provider etc - maybe a centre that provides the frivolities?
The alternative could be staying at the job but trying to expand the sewing side of things?
Wish you well purple

signandsmile Thu 06-Oct-11 17:59:40

Hey purple, the thing about friends is that they do tell you when you have 'inserted foot' as it were, but they help you take it out, stand on it again, and then walk forward with you grin. (I have terminal 'footitis', just haven't happened to do it on MN... yet. grin)

I like silverfrogs idea of something to run along side the job, that understandably feels frustrating. I know I started my OU degree (that led to SW training) when I was working in sheltered housing, as I felt I was just treading water there... It was bloody hard work, but it did give me an outlet for my brain, as it were.

The other thought that might be useful is , bugger! just had two phone calls and have no idea what I was going to type next...... AH got it!

Is it worth doing one of those career advice type questionnaires, or interviews? I only ask cos I remember doing one and a couple of good ideas came up that I had never considered, (some crappy ones too, but it was worth if for the unexpected stuff...)

Here if you need an ear, pm me ...

StarlightMcKenzie Thu 06-Oct-11 19:39:41

purple pull yourself together <virtual slap across face>

No-one hates you. You should know better than to think that. This board is self-moderated and self-regulated at best and volatile at worst, but it's just a board, and this part in particular, is full of exhausted, time-limited, carers who need to get straight to the point.

I've had beatings on here far worse than yours (trumps) and probably not even in single figures in number. Some of them might have been undeserved, but most of them were and they have made me stronger and better at what I do for the child I care for, even if I had to leave MN for a short while to lick my wounds. But the truth is, I need MN and it's bluntness. Where else would I get such direct advice to 'grown up', 'ignore', 'get my story straight', 'justify my actions' when faced with very difficult scenarios that I am getting so caught up in I can't see the wood from the trees.

But, - now some career advice, - you shouldn't look to change career. You should look to refine it. Find a similar job with more of the aspects you like and less of the ones you don't. It won't be perfect, but after 6months of doing it, you can refine again until you work your way into a career you love.

purplewerepidj Thu 06-Oct-11 19:41:25

Thanks everyone

I've definitely reached burn out point. I reached it a few years ago but have been pushing on because I have bills to pay (don't we all)

I'm job hunting but I'm not getting very far which is doing my head in! Every time I'm not shortlisted another fragment of my already limited self esteem gets eroded.

Right now I just want to sit in an office and type, although my lovely new youth work boss has some ideas for doing this full time... Someone has faith in me shock

purplewerepidj Thu 06-Oct-11 20:00:34

Starlight, xpost! I was only upset about my post because I know how much tougher it is for you guys and I feel awful at making things worse blush

StarlightMcKenzie Thu 06-Oct-11 20:17:14

Yes I know purple but you've apologied and you'll get over it grin

purplewerepidj Thu 06-Oct-11 21:13:08

Get over myself

Pull my socks up

Pull myself together


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