Got an appt for CAMHS....

[GossipWitch]

But now I'm wondering whether ds1 actually has asd/as/adhd or sn or is in fact nt? I have just read on another thread about hormonal surges which explains the tantrums, and maybe all the other stuff is my upbringing of him, maybe I am too pfb with him, maybe its because I'm a lone parent and cant parent him properly, maybe the classes I went to to improve his behaviour didn't work because I did it wrong. I just don't want to waste time and things for CAMHS if this is the case and they could be seeing a much needier family than mine??? Erm I'm quite confused?

[bochead]

Try not to chuckle at me too much cos there is method in my madness.

The waiting list for cahms is long, so I'm assuming you have a month (it takes 28 days to see behavioral improvements in the NT that are caused by habit, whether that be toddler tantrums, or adults stopping smoking).

So for on month only:-

1. Check child IS REALLY getting enough sleep (yet to meet a sleep deprived young child that wasn't a monster, no matter the other stuff going on).
   
2. Check child is eating a balanced healthy diet (ie do they EAT their veg or move it round the plate, do they get enough protein, are most meals decent homecooked).
   
3. Eat family meals together at the table with the TV switched off. (This is a slackers way of ensuring a child gets enough undivided attention form you
   

each day).

1. Does the child get 60 mins fresh air/excercise a day?
   
2. 123 Magic the book - read it the 1st weekend and implement (the decent NT parenting courses all feed off this book so save yourself a few weeks of being patronised/give yourself an NT refresher).
   

You are probably doing most/all of this stuff anyway but it's sometimes useful to kinda double check yourself for a set period of time iykwim. Keep a notebook/diary if it helps.

After the month, if there is no improvement & you are doing all the above, then no you aren't wasting a CAHMS appointment! If you are having REAL issues with any of the 5 point list it gives you a sensible place to start (eg for me DS has real sleep issues no matter how hard I try).

[Ineedalife]

I wouldn't worry too much about wasting their time, it is their job. At first your Ds will be seen at the lowest level Tier 1 and you will be asked for a history. The person who interveiws you will be able to see from meeting you and listening to what you say wether your Ds needs to be seen by someone else for a proper assessent.

No one will jump in and diagnose your Ds with something unless they have good reason to.

It could be that you and he need some support but so what. It is really hard work bringing up children and if he has go a SN then it will be even harder.

Be kind to yourself, stop beating yourself up and let the proffs decide if your Ds needs a diagnosis or if you both just need a bit extra support.

Take care and good luck

[GossipWitch]

Everything else I do, I went on a 1.2.3 magic course when ds1 was 5-6 it worked well for a month or 2 but as with everything it didnt last long, but I still count to three before punishments, which have been resorted to things being grounded (in order or ds1 kicks off more) but that works better than the step, and I do do the rewards for him too, the sleep is an issue but he does get a good 7 hours most nights and that's how much I get tbh he should have more I know but he eats his greens just not chewy meat, and he gets 1 hour just by walking to school and back, and I like him to play out rather than in unless he's grounded.