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Juggling toddler with sn and 6 month old baby

(4 Posts)
Celerydion Thu 29-Sep-11 19:18:41

Hi everyone, my first post in sn - thought it would be good to let off steam here and hopefully you can help with some ideas for keeping sane!
Wee bit of a background - dd is 3 (next week) and is just starting to walk. She has a genetic condition (Turner Syndrome) which means that she is very tiny & will need growth hormones to help her reach a regular height. She was born at 32 weeks and only 2lb 10oz, bless her - also had IUGR. She has development delay in most areas although is extremely sociable and seems to understand a lot, her hearing is not so good and her speech is delayed.

Ds, 6 months is a big, smiley, loud gorgeous boy. He is, I guess a 'regular' baby and is just starting to wean now, sleeps ok.... but he is a baby so of course requires a lot of attention.

I'm a SAHM, feel like life at the moment is constant feeds, nappy changes (for both, dd definately not ready to potty train yet), washing up, trying and failing to keep the flat clean and generally feeling guilty. Is this normal?? We always have a trip out every day i.e toddler group or walk to the park, shops etc this is quite hard work as we're on the 2nd floor (no lift) so I have to carry them both downstairs. Just to make matters more complicated, i have had a long running problem with an infected toe, so you can imagine that does not help!

Anyway, sorry to go on, but just wondered if anyone else can identify with how I feel - generally exhausted, not quite keeping up with everything.

timsmama Thu 29-Sep-11 19:31:16

Hi Celery! I - and I am sure most people on here - understand how you are feeling. I have 3 ds ranging from 4.5 to 13 months, the eldest has AS (and possible ADHD). Ds1 started nursery 2 months ago, so things a much easier now, but I still heavily rely on both ds2 and ds3 to take a lengthy daytime nap after lunch. Even so, I am ALWAYS tired smile

do you get any help taking your two out? I now get help 1-2 afternoons a week, which makes a big difference. I do feel like I need to get out in the afternoons, as ds1 is usually quite tired, which again means that his behaviour towards the other 2 will be more difficult. On my own I wouldnt dare to go to places, but with that extra pair of hands it's much better. Cant be easy for you with a painful toe on top of everything!

oh, and I have resigned to the fact that our house is always clean and tidy first thing in the morning and last thing at night grin

Celerydion Thu 29-Sep-11 19:46:58

Hi timsmama smile thanks for your reply. Wow 3 ds that must be amazing but tiring! I'm just wondering who helps you when you go out? Of course DH helps us at weekends but he works fulltime.
DD is due to start pre-school in January - feeling a bit awful as I haven't sorted out that yet! sad I think I will find things a little less hectic when it is just me & ds for a couple of hours. We go to a surestart toddler group so I should ask them for help but I'm not very good at asking. To be honest to an outsider I probably seem to be coping fine. dd doesn't nap any more in the daytime although she does go to sleep around 6.30pm which is good smile

timsmama Thu 29-Sep-11 20:00:39

I used to be incredibly bad at asking for help! until I broke down crying in from of my gyno - when I was pregnant with ds3 and ds1's problems were getting much much worse...from then on I have got better.

We moved to Germany just before ds2 was born so a bit different for me re what help I am entitled. BUT, a good friend of mine in the UK also has a ds with ASD, and she gets help taking her boys to the park etc. It was her ds1's nursery who sorted it out for her, I think, as she would often drop him off in tears as it was all getting too much for her. Do ask at the surestart group, I am sure they will at least be able to tell you where to find out about support workers for you. Dont be shy to ask for help, it doesnt mean you are weak, it just makes your day a little bit easier. smile

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