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Does dd1 need some kind of ABA therapy, i am so close to giving up :(

(18 Posts)
Marne Wed 28-Sep-11 20:44:34

Dd1(7) has AS, she thinks she is always right, needs to be in charge, will not listen to other peoples idea, talks continuesly (either really fast or in a whiney voice) and she cries a lot.

She started a new school 4 weeks ago and is struggling to make friends, TBH i can see why no one would want to be friends with her (after all, who would want to be friends with someone who thinks they know everything and disagrees with everything that is said to her?).

She knows she has AS and knows she suffers from anxiety, she's very bright (when she wants to be), tonight she is refusing to sleep after a incedent at school today (a child accused her of biting her) and she's upset because no one likes her and people pull faces at her, she asked me for advice, so i explained to her 'that people will pick on her if she responds with crying or getting upset, if she ignores it or pulls a face back chances are they will give up and leave her alone' but she will not listen to anything i suggest and just says 'i can't do that' (without even trying). I know if she can not learn how to behave around people and stop getting so emotional her issues are going to get worse and worse.

I don't know much about ABA but can it be used to help dd1 know how to behave and handle people?

I'm close to giving up and am loosing patiance with her as she wont listen to a word i say, i have tried social stories and have tried explaining using pictures and charts but she just wont try anything other than crying and getting upset with people sad.

StarlightMcKenzie Wed 28-Sep-11 21:13:13

I'm not sure that it is ABA in the form that most understand that is what is needed tbh. But ABA techniques can be useful yes.

Break down a scenario into very small steps and then teach it, but they absolute key thing then is opportunity to practise practise and practise some more until she has got it, then build on it, one step up and do the same.

If her language is good, you can explain what she is going to learn. So for example, you could play snakes and ladders. If she has grasped turn taking but is a sore loser, you could focus on that. 'Right DD lets play. Oh you won. Well done. Okay I lost and what did I say to you? okay, lets try again. If I win this time what will you say to me? W...w...w, - that's right. now if you remember to do it then we can go and play with your favourite toy together afterwards' then with regular reminders, and an absolutely over the moon expression and response if she does it correctly.

You can arrange play dates, where she has one or two small targets i.e. when they first arrive ask guest what they want to play with and do that for 5 minutes with them, then you'll get her favourite snack ready.

Above all praise her and praise her and make her feel that she can do things, that she is clever, that she needs you to help her understand but she can understand if she tries because she is so clever etc.

MangoMonster Wed 28-Sep-11 21:15:04

I've just started ABA and from what I've seen, I think it could help. It focuses on giving kids strategies for situations they find challenging. I'm sure others on here will be able to go into more detail.

Eloise73 Wed 28-Sep-11 21:15:56

My DD is almost 4 so not as old as your girl but we're trying child psychotherapy at the moment and we're really pleased. Perhaps something like that might help, someone to help her work through her feelings and her anxieties. I was a bit dubious at first but having read up on it I can see how child psychotherapy can have a very positive impact and we're very hopeful it will help reduce our DD's anxieties and help her to integrate more with other kids.

Not sure about ABA, we have used some play based ABA with our daughter successfully. I'm sure someone on here will be able to answer the ABA side of things better but just wanted to share about the psychotherapy. Hope things get better for your DD and your family xx

Marne Wed 28-Sep-11 21:22:14

Thank you,
Her language is very good, she's just very stuburn and refusses to try anything i suggest, i'm sure if a stranger could talk to her she would be more willing to try. It took years to get her used to playing a game and loosing and she still gets a little upset (but no way near what she used to be like).

I'm willing to give anything a go. We have had no help sinse dx (when she was 3), no CHAMs, no therapy (other than OT which we have only just started), up until now there hasn't really been a problem, the children at her old school had grew up with her and worked out how she works and excepted her, now she's in a new school where no one knows her or her past and they are all pushing her away. sad

oodlesofdoodles Wed 28-Sep-11 21:31:03

Poor thing. I think an ABA consultant who knows high functioning ASD kids could help her take off. It sounds like the old school, though cosy, allowed her to settle into some bad habits. If she is motivated to try hopefully she will find new ways of operating.

Marne Wed 28-Sep-11 21:33:10

Just need to find a ABA consultant near by which may be hard, i will ask her OT when we see her if she knows of any, its got to be worth a shot.

StarlightMcKenzie Wed 28-Sep-11 21:36:51

Marne, there is a yahoo group called ABAUK that might be able to help a bit if you join.

StarlightMcKenzie Wed 28-Sep-11 21:38:53

You might know by now, but there is a lot of ignorance and predjudice against ABA. Some of it deserved, not because ABA is bad but because there is some dodgy practice and like all things the UK is very slow to keep up with the latest research, so make sure you are comfortable and ask lots of questions of any consultant, - not least to skill yourself, because whoever you might bring in, you are your dd's constant.

Marne Wed 28-Sep-11 21:45:11

Thank you starlight, thats one of the reasons i have stayed clear of it up until now, i'm now running out of options sad, i will try and get advice from OT or paed (will have to be dd2's paed but she is very helpfull). I have handed money over to dodgy therapists for myself in the past so i dont want to do it again.

bialystockandbloom Wed 28-Sep-11 22:51:00

Imo ABA can be used to good effect for just about any behavioural/learning difficulty.

At its core it's simply reinforcing appropriate behaviour (mainly through giving attention), and extinguishing inapprorpriate behaviour (mainly through ignoring). Teaching behaviour is fundamental to it. And as it also teaches on generalising a new skill (ie so it's not just a skill learnt in a particular context) it can be particularly useful to help with social behaviour.

What might be of particular interest to you is SCERTS (stands for Social Communication, Emotional Regulation and Transactional Support). It's a form of therapy that is used in ABA, particularly in the Verbal Behaviour approach, and focuses a lot on emotional regulation. It's implemented using normal ABA techniques (positive reinforcement).

We have just got a new (VB) therapist who has some years of experience of this, and she is brilliant.

Here's some info about it here and this is a bit more technical

In the first place I would talk to a few consultants (independent) or providers (eg PEACH, UKYAP) to get an idea of how it might work for dd.

I agree that she may not need a full, formal programme, but it might be worth you getting a steer on how to help her using ABA techniques.

If you want the name of our supervisor (who specialises in SCERTS) pm me, I'm sure she'd be happy to chat to you. Where are you based?

Marne Thu 29-Sep-11 10:35:43

Thank you, I'm in Dorset so i don't know what is available here? I feel at the moment ABA is our only option (seem to tried everything else).

Spiraling Thu 29-Sep-11 10:42:45

my dad is the satme. He will only listen to professionals even is we have been saying the same thing. Do you thiought if you took her somewhere where professionals will talk to her, like the psychotherapy.

Have you thought about CBT (Cognitive behavioral therapy). . CBT aims to solve problems concerning dysfunctional emotions, behaviors and cognitions through a goal-oriented, systematic procedure in the present. I've heard it can be very successful.

PipinJo Fri 30-Sep-11 00:07:56

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Marne Fri 30-Sep-11 03:29:43

I had CBT a while ago, i have many autistic traits, sadly it didn't work for me sad, i don't think it will work for dd as her brain is too stuburn. Will look into psychotherapy and ABA.

saintlyjimjams Fri 30-Sep-11 07:04:56

I think ABA would be hard to apply appropriately to help her in this situation. She's bot going to be shadowed by an ABA tutor at school so will be hard to have the input when needed.

You might be better looking at RDI (and believe me I never recommend RDI), or as pipin says social skills training. Social stories of course as well.

saintlyjimjams Fri 30-Sep-11 07:05:33

Not not bot!

StarlightMcKenzie Fri 30-Sep-11 08:33:20

I agree with saintly. It is not that I think that ABA is inappropriate though, but you can't implement a new 'technique' like ABA to be delivered in an environment that you can't control i.e. school, and unfortunately you can't magic up 30 peers to teach her at home.

Great if you can get an ABA-trained 1:1 but there is so much hostility towards it that this is quite unlikely. You would also need for this 1:1 to communicate quite heavily with you to ensure home-school consistency.

In my previous life, I would have thought all the above was common sense and easy to implement but I know better now.

So try and stick to something that you can retain control over. You might benefit from having the advice of a behaviouralist consultant to give YOU skills to communicate better with her at home about it, and some skills that you might be able to suggest to school too.

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