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Really feel upset.....what would you do?

(10 Posts)
Anna85 Wed 28-Sep-11 16:19:55

I have just come away from a meeting with my DS who in Yr 1 teacher as I had to sign his IEP.

In the meeting they were saying that DS had made really good progress with his behaviour and that most the time he was supported in small group as at the end of Reception his EYFS was 2 (average 6).

Anyhow I have felt for sometime that I am looked down upon at the school and I am getting on there nerves.....so much that I am in tears!!

DS is going through Statutory Assessment at the moment and I said would anything differ from what he is getting now and the teacher told me that she doubts very much that anything extra in way of support will be given to my DS....so to me what is the point of all of this SA?

The teacher also said to me "I have to remember there are 25 other children in the class"!!

I have sat and written a letter stating how I feel.....is this the best way as whenever I talk to them it seems they can't be bothered with me?

lacornsillk Wed 28-Sep-11 16:37:13

the teacher won't be able to predict the outcome of the SA - don't worry.

IndigoBell Wed 28-Sep-11 16:40:21

I'm not surprised you're upset, it is all very upsetting.

If he gets a statement, things will be different.

In the mean time you need to focus on what his problems are, and what help he needs to access learning in the classroom.

And also what you can do to support him outside of the classroom.

davidsotherhalf Wed 28-Sep-11 16:40:21

the teacher cannot say your ds will not get any more support from the statutory assessment as she doesn't know what the professionals are saying your ds needs, tbh i would just ignore the teacher not sure about the letter as i have done this before and it was used against me with dd's school. school thought if they carried on not listening i would go away iyswim

PeachyWhoCannotType Wed 28-Sep-11 16:46:18

You do not ahve to remember there are 25 other kids in the class, presumably (unless theya re unfortunate) they have each got an advocate adn that is what you are for your DS.

And SA does not take the otehr kids into account; SA looks at your child and if agreed funds their needs, the otehr kids may benefit from that but not by design.

Some schools are fab and perfect aplces with SN kids. And some are a bit shit and will say anything to talk you out of expecting anything from them- sounds as if you ahve the latter. DS1 is 11.5 now and I dearly wish i'd moved him when I realised that was the case, though that may not be possible for you. I would say though that now they ahve revealed their hand just step back from what they say and view with cynicism: take an advocate to meetings if you can, even if just a DH or friend.

I probably would not do the letter- seems to be a rise in a blame the parents culture again ATM (FFS) so whilst writing then binning might be great as a way of getting your emotions into perpective, it might also be worth keeping a list of what he needs and what helps him, updating it regularly and circulating that: tailor it to each new circumstance and it can really ehlp, just got ds1 one of 2 aplces at a specilaist AS Base in our city by doing that.

Anna85 Wed 28-Sep-11 17:10:02

My DS is HFA and in Reception his behaviour was very challenging but since being in Year 1 his behaviour seems to have calmed down a great deal.

Now the behaviour has calmed the learning needs to be addressed. Yes I understand he is getting help in a way of small group work and they are saying he responds really well to that....so now raises the question of am I over reacting thinking he needs all this help? Will small group work be sufficient? Is the SA needed?

starfishmummy Wed 28-Sep-11 17:20:00

You should still push for the SA. You cannot guarantee that the small group work will continue - the school could just stop it inless it is in his statement.

PeachyWhoCannotType Wed 28-Sep-11 17:33:05

IMO (and I promise I do know my stuff and I have certificates and all to rpove it, as well as a few asd kids of my own LOL) every child on the spectrum deserves to go through SA>

Most IMO should get support, a few won;t need that, but tehy should all be checked.

<<returns home to cloud cucckoo land>>

bialystockandbloom Wed 28-Sep-11 17:51:41

I agree, it is very tempting (and would make you feel better in the short term) but I don't think a letter would be the best idea atm.

As pp say, ignore the unhelpful and ignorant teacher.

The other 25 children in the classroom are not your concern. If the teacher is saying this it suggests that actually they are not coping well with his additional needs without any extra support, as she's effectively saying "we can't give him any extra attention as it would affect the other children by taking too much of our time". However, that's not the point. If his needs are such that they require additional support which the teacher cannot give, you therefore need some extra funded support via statement. So she's actually contradicting herself.

IYSWIM? Or at least you can present it to them this way if an occasion arises, and maybe even use this in your SA parental report?

Thankfully your ds's statement will not depend on her report alone. Actually, would she be writing it anyway? If SA in progress they've probably asked last year's teacher for a report anyway?

Sorry, this is a really stressful time for you.

PeachyWhoCannotType Wed 28-Sep-11 18:02:18

Our PAed actually binned all the school's reports and instructed the LA of her decision (they contradicted each other)

Bizarre place our school

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