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Here are some suggested organisations that offer expert advice on SN.

Exhausted and in tears... (longish, 'bringing it all together' post)

(40 Posts)
imogengladheart Tue 27-Sep-11 10:09:51

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

wasuup3000 Tue 27-Sep-11 10:44:30

Yes go back to a different GP and do not move until they have reffered your son for a 2nd opinion.

lisad123 Tue 27-Sep-11 10:52:37

Can you try the school nurse? They can refer. If all else fails bang on with GP until it's sorted. Poor u and poor ds sad

Becaroooo Tue 27-Sep-11 11:33:35

Go to differnet GP. What that GP told you was simply untrue!

My GP referred ds1 in Feb (ok, we have ended up going private, but it can be done!!!)

<<if going private is an option for you, would recommend it>>

Re: the school...has he got a statement? IEP? 1-1??

moosemama Tue 27-Sep-11 11:44:15

We didn't get to see a Developmental Paediatrician as there are none in our PCT. Instead we were referred to the Community Paediatrician, who went through everything with us and referred us on from there to their assessment unit. CAMHS don't do assessments here.

If you absolutely can't get a Developmental Paed referral, might it be worth asking to see the Community Paed and see if that gets you anywhere?

Becaroooo Tue 27-Sep-11 11:48:56

Yes we saw a community paed as moose says and then (as he was so monumentally crap) we have gone private.

<<should say my dnephew saw a lovely comm paed, we were just unlucky>>

moosemama Tue 27-Sep-11 11:55:22

Have to say our Community Paed is lovely, but also a bit hopeless in lots of ways. What ws good was that he didn't dismiss us as neurotic. He read all my, (comprehensive) background/briefing notes, listened properly to all our concerns and knew where to send us on to to get a proper assessment.

imogengladheart Tue 27-Sep-11 12:51:09

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Becaroooo Tue 27-Sep-11 16:23:27

so, he ha no interventions at school at all then?

(sorry dot know the scottish system)

No 1-1? No SENco help?

imogengladheart Tue 27-Sep-11 17:21:48

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imogengladheart Tue 27-Sep-11 17:28:46

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Becaroooo Tue 27-Sep-11 17:30:34

Oh imogen

So sorry sad

Is there any chance of changing schools?? I dont say that lightly, but as a parent who did it. They dont sound like they are listening to you at all - not uncommon, sadly.

My ds1's last school was so awful (rated as outstanding by OFSTED) <<bitter laughter>> that I took him out and home schooled him for most of last year.

He has been in his new school since Nov last year and is happy.

Are you keeping him at home tomorrow? I know I would! They are showing such a lack of thought and care towards you and your son, you must be so upset sad

I dont really know much about scotlands Ed system but surely they have SENco (or the equivalent)?? Is he on an IEP?? Have you had a meeting with the SN school advisor??

I would keep him off tomorrow - let his have his celebration - and go back to a different GP, say you want a referral to the Comm paed asap and explain just like you have on fact, print this thread off and take it in with you!!!!

Also, in the UK we have parent partnership...might be worth seeing if they have that where you are...very helpful, come along to meetings with you etc.

Also, SOS!SEN are very good too, if they cant help, they might know a group in Scotland that can???

madwomanintheattic Tue 27-Sep-11 17:31:12

you don't have to ask for anything except school's support.

they are the professionals.

you tell them what he struggles with, and they come up with solutions.

to be absolutely blunt, sometimes you just have to break down and cry in front of (insert any professional) because it underlines the severity of your concern.

don't ever, ever feel that you shouldn't show the strenght of your worry about your child in this way. sometimes it is the only thing that motivates external support. you are not coping, because they are not supporting your child.

list all of your concerns. ask for their help. let them be the ones who wrestle with what form that will take.

but ask them to support a referral to the paed. (in most areas the community paed and the developmental paed are the same thing btw, so that is the referral you need, desperately.) get the ht to call the (fecking useless) gp and insist on an immediate referral as she has concerns about the child's development.

i'm so sorry, imogen. sad

it will get better. sometimes it gets worse first. hopefully now you've hit the bottom and people will start listening. it's all we ever ask for.

madwomanintheattic Tue 27-Sep-11 17:32:23

(we were in scotland when dd2 was born btw - the comm paed was brilliant. let me know if you are anywhere near paisley)

madwomanintheattic Tue 27-Sep-11 17:33:48

just to add, i think this marks a change in attitude btw. she saw how genuinely concerned you are and has recognised that support is needed. so go ask for it.

bialystockandbloom Tue 27-Sep-11 17:48:06

So sorry, what an awful time you're having, and being fobbed off like this sad

Not much more to add to what others have said, but I would definitely be pushing and pushing and pushing for a referral from GP. This is not fair on you .

And at the meeting tomorrow, remember the point is they need to be coming up with ways to support him. IEPs. 1:1 support if necessary. Social skills support. Don't let them make you feel worse about times he can't make it in - it obviously isn't just 'normal' truancy. Tell them everything you've written here.
I don't know the ed system in Scotland, but there must be loads of web info yo can find about SEN support?

How realistic is it to look for another school?

Good luck.

moosemama Tue 27-Sep-11 18:11:18

Could these people help at all?

Also found this article about Scotland's Education Act.

This is a link to the SEN and Disability Act 2001 - Scotland

Not sure if that one's been superceded by the Educational (Additional Support for Learning Act) Scotland 2004 which can be downloaded from this link.

Finally, here is a link to The Scottish Advice Service for additional support for Learning. They seem to have a lot of useful information on their site.

dolfrog Tue 27-Sep-11 18:40:16


A leading contributor to the CiteULike Group: Inclusion - library 85 articles is based at a University in Scotland, may be some of research papers he has contributed may be useful

imogengladheart Tue 27-Sep-11 18:55:35

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

imogengladheart Tue 27-Sep-11 18:57:37

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

tabulahrasa Tue 27-Sep-11 19:55:16


as madwomanintheattic says - they should be coming up with solutions to problems

and it should have been them spotting the problems to start with...

Go in tomorrow, if you can, take a list of what you think the problem areas are - even if that's just what he's like at home and what he's saying the problems are at school. (even better if you've got things that his class teacher has said are problem areas)

If you come out of that meeting unhappy, aye, corner the director of education and moan, lol, and that's when you start formally requesting assessment (by letter, not at the parent council meeting, obviously)

Remember as well that while in reality some schools are better fits for some children - that's not at all how the Scottish system is set up, they have to make it work for him, or at least make a noticeable effort to do so.

imogengladheart Tue 27-Sep-11 23:17:26

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Becaroooo Wed 28-Sep-11 07:48:09

Good plan!!!

madwomanintheattic Wed 28-Sep-11 15:53:14

normally i say don't write (to correct ridiculous inaccuracies) as it's not a fight worth having (in the doc notes for my 6 wk check with ds it says i tried but failed to establish bf. - he actually fed like a pig from the get go and was a bottle refuser until i turned the bf tap off at 10 mos - oh, and i didn't even have a 6 wk check...) but i'm concerned in your case that they might not even be writing about the correct child, so i might be tempted to get hold of a copy of the letter and ask them... <sigh>

but i like your plan. well done! it's a bit of a rollercoaster, this sn stuff, but you sound as though you are having a moment of clarity! appeal to the ht/ senco's professionalism and expertise - it always goes down well... as well as a liberal sprinkling of 'we are all working together to find the best way to support x' they are hardly going to deny it...

good luck x

tabulahrasa Wed 28-Sep-11 16:59:52

So how did school go then?

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