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witnessed something? help needed.

(24 Posts)
megatronsmum Mon 26-Sep-11 15:51:14


Theres a boy across the road whos about 8 or 9. I know he has SN, i think mild autism??

He gets picked up and dropped off by a school bus.

He gets dropped off on our side of the road to cross over to his.

Theres a driver and some bloke sat in the back.

This lad is always the last to be dropped off so its the adults and him in the van/bus thing.

The other day the lad was getting out and the bloke in the back was being a bit loud, he was saying something but couldn't make it out.

he then gets out and starts 'play punching' the lad saying 'i'll beat you up' aiming all over his body/head.

tbh the lad looked uncomftable and i wasn't sure how i interpreted it.

today the van pulls up, the kid gets out and the guys shouting aty him again

saying 'i'll give you one more chance to ...' but i couldn't make it out. he was really having a go at him but didn't go to the house like i'd expect him to if there was trouble iykwim?

then he got in the front andwas laughoing with the driver.

it just seemed like, along with the previous icident, very bullying.

should I tell his mum? or have i not seen/heard enough??

should i try to wait and see if anything else goes on or just tell her?

or keep my nose out?

i have posted this in 2 places as wasn't sure where to ask x

AttilaTheMeerkat Mon 26-Sep-11 16:19:10

I would say something and inform his mother of what you have seen. Bad things happen when good people stand by and do nothing.

EllenJaneisnotmyname Mon 26-Sep-11 16:20:08

If you felt uncomfortable about it I'd mention it, just as you have here. If it were my DS I'd want to know, even if it turns out to be nothing very much.

oodlesofdoodles Mon 26-Sep-11 16:37:24

Yes, you must raise it with the boy's mother. If it turns out you mis-interpreted the situation, then just apologise. Do you know the mother at all? If it's just the beginning of bullying by the men in the bus then better to nip it in the bud now than wait for things to escalate.

starfishmummy Mon 26-Sep-11 17:13:12

Adding my agree to telling the Mum. It might be nothing, but better safe than sorry.

lacornsillk Mon 26-Sep-11 17:15:17

Definitely tell the mum what you have seen. That doesn't sound right at all.

Please tell the mother what you saw.

Tota1Xaos Mon 26-Sep-11 18:18:19

yes, definitely tell. even if this is being done with no ill-intent, it's still not appropriate behaviour.

tiredoffightingwithjelly Mon 26-Sep-11 18:32:11

yep tell em and asap they can then get to the bottom of it - it doesn't sound ok to me.

lifesamerrygoround Mon 26-Sep-11 18:33:06

Def you have to tell.

sneezecakesmum Mon 26-Sep-11 18:33:38

Tell. If something doesnt feel right is usually isn't

SauvignonBlanche Mon 26-Sep-11 18:34:26

Please say something.

megatronsmum Mon 26-Sep-11 18:41:28

Thankyou, I will see what goes on tomorrow and definatly will go see her tomorrow evening when she gets home from work.

StarlightMcKenzie Tue 27-Sep-11 10:39:13

Can you video from your bedroom window?

lisad123 Tue 27-Sep-11 11:03:15

I would tell too. There is no need for him to be yelling at him and certainly sounds like bullying. Would say in my experience most escorts for buses arent normally from child led backgrounds or have much SN experience. sad

Dawndonna Tue 27-Sep-11 11:20:49

If the boy is ASD, he may not be able to tell his parents wha tis going on. Please say something, if it were my child, I'd want to know, and my kids would take weeks to tell me something like this.

akaemmafrost Tue 27-Sep-11 12:06:47

Tell his Mum, I would be desperate to know this. Ds wouldn't tell me because he wouldn't understand it sad.

joencaitlinsmum Tue 27-Sep-11 12:24:15

You should also call the bus company and inform them if you think the bus driver is involved afterall they are responsible for that child whilst he is on their bus!

ohmeohmy Tue 27-Sep-11 13:09:27

Definitely tell mother and bus company. Escorts should not be hassling children they are in a position of responsibility.

purplepidjinawoollytangle Tue 27-Sep-11 13:22:21

Talk to the parents, let them know you've seen this. Some awful stuff happens in these situations - however, I'm pretty sure that a lot of the "jokes" I share with my residents (ok, i know, slightly different) could be very easily misinterpreted when seen from the outside.

How would you react to seeing someone pushing a wheelchair telling the clouds to piss off? You probably wouldn't realise we were talking to the clouds - but Dude finds it hilarious.

More than one of my residents likes a hug every so often, or will kiss my hand. Definitely open to misinterpretation by a bystander.

I'm not downplaying your instincts, just advising you to tread carefully. If there is something untoward happening, then SS will have procedures in place to investigate.

PS It's not generally a good idea to playfight with someone with ASD as most will have trouble differentiating between that and hurting someone - so at the least, the escort should knock it on the head for those reasons!

JAKEJEM Tue 27-Sep-11 13:47:20

Being the mum of two children with autism, I would be more than happy if you had seen this and came to me to let me know your concerns, in fact I would respect you tremendously, even if it turned out to be nothing. For your own peace of mind, please say something. If I were you, I would print out your message on here as it may be easier for you xxx Good luck xxxx You sound like a very caring person, I wish there were more like you around xxx

StarlightMcKenzie Tue 27-Sep-11 14:05:50

Absolutely. Even if you have got in wrong OP, I would be overwhelmingly grateful that someone other than me cared for the welfare of my child.

bialystockandbloom Tue 27-Sep-11 14:13:02

Yes agree, please tell his mother what you saw.

purplepdjin this sounds very different from you sharing a laugh with the adults (?) you are a carer for. I'm not sure if the people you're looking after have autism, but having a laugh with someone who has physical disabilities is different from "teasing" someone with ASD. One scenario is getting along with your clients and enjoying yourselves; the other could be abuse. I know you know this, of course, I'm just saying what the OP saw doesn't sound like it was a joke being shared by the boy.

purplepidjinawoollytangle Tue 27-Sep-11 17:23:54

I work with folk with a mixture of needs, at the moment adults but in the past children and teenagers.

Sorry, the point I was trying to make is that sometimes these things are merely misinterpreted - so don't call Social Services quite yet - but it's best to check it out with parents (or in my case ask me directly!)

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